Not sure why I'm posting this...

[Fullquiver]

I'm sorry for your loss..

I do however believe that their are things we as a culture and society can do better. Would this stop suicidal behavior, no. Would it reduce the rates of this behavior.. I do believe so... We need to learn to talk about this in constructive ways. We need to learn to identify behavioral clues and triggers. We also need to be willing as a society to stop and help those who are struggling with these thoughts.. We just need to learn to show real love to those around us even when it costs us or isn't convenient..

I don't say these things without knowledge, I have experience on both sides of this issue.. If people wouldn't have taken the time and energy to be involved in a very messy part of my life. This very well would have been me..

I have in years since been able to speak life and truth into many other people's lives.. I have worked with more than a few who have been at these same crossroads.. Some have said that it was what made the difference in their lives.. That is a humbling thing. So please remember that loving kindness shown through actions can change someone's life. It did mine..

 

[Pine Tree Views]

Sorry to hear - as stated suicide is a complicated thing and generally no two cases are alike, all have differing variables leading up the the person taking their life. In the case of a best friend I had, he was solo and wrecked a friend's vehicle after a party (we were young, dumb college age kids) and as best we can figure today was worried about the legal recourse and essentially panicked more not being able to get ahold of someone (it was very early morning at that point) so he walked back to where he was going to stay, took one of their firearms and then his own life in an outbuilding on the property. We all wonder if we missed signs or other contributing factors but in the end it was likely a spur of the moment escalation exacerbated by the situation and activities of that evening.

Healing as a group helped us through it, our friend group rallied around his mother and she to us, we often get together and she is always invited when we do. Realization that you are all grieving together and working your way through it as such eases the burden following a tragic situation. There are also many outlets for your emotions with those experiencing the same feelings (perhaps more dreaded than the actual "f" word in the macho society we at times try to build nowadays) that you are able to relate with. There will often never be definite answers, but the chance to learn and heal exists.

Being a dude entering his 30's this year still without a family of his own, I find myself taking mental deep dives at times to asses how things are going for me and where I am at. Self-awareness of your mental state is key, but so is not allowing it to overwhelm your thoughts which in itself may trigger a spiral. The world has changed tremendously over time, but one thing our society still lacks is proper awareness of mental health - which is especially concerning as stressors seem to be increasing as time goes on.

 

[rtraverdavis]

I’m resurrecting this old and painful thread because I remember being taken by the power of what people shared in it when it was first posted.

I’m a middle school teacher, and last night I got a call from my principal. She told me that one of my former students took his own life this past Sunday. This was a kid I was pretty close with. He would have been a senior this year. He was 17.

This kid was a huge pain in the ass in the classroom. He was a fuse that was always lit, and I never knew when he’d blow up and class would have to stop. He’d been through significant trauma and was so sensitive and angry. He was also brilliant. I spent a lot of time just talking with him, listening, trying to make our time together manageable, but also to let him know that he was seen. He could have really been something.

So like Brian who started this thread a year and half ago, I don’t know why I’m posting this. But it seemed there was a catharsis in it the first time around. All I know is, this sucks.

 

[Corn king 60]

Sorry to hear that

 

[SaskHunter]

I've been involved with a lot of suicidal friends; some succeeded, some didn't, some changed their minds halfway through it, some reached out for help and some I've had to push to get help. The only common denominator is that there aren't any. Over time and with actual training I've gotten better at dealing with mental health issues but it's still hard and I constantly look back at what I did wrong or would have done differently.

Each person is unique and deals with their issues in different ways. But the one thing that is for sure; you can't allow yourself to become too involved to the point where it affects you. You can't help others if you get to the point where you can no longer help yourself. Sometimes you have to let someone else take over for your own wellbeing.