Maybe I'm in a Chitty mood but...

[Moosie]

I got a letter from the Homeowners Association. Looks liek I have now 10 daysto Complete my Decoritive fence in my front yard. Grant it, Althuogh I meant to finish it, things happen and Projects get put on the BAckburner... hell, I have a million of them

that being said, I crafted a response letter I'm mailing back to them. Please read and Reply with any comments. I used Spell Check so I think it's good to go :

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear “Board Members”,



Although I do appreciate the two(2) side view pictures of the front of my house and the “Personal” letter mailed to me and signed by each and every board member, it really wasn’t necessary. Although your pictures were nicely taken, cropped and trimmed, I have pictures of my house for my Christmas cards already. I will hold onto the ones you took though. I’m aware that the “Decorative” fence in my front yard isn’t “finished” yet. I’m also aware the “Violation” you brought to my attention under Article XI “Prosecution of Construction work” and the legality of the ordinances. 10 days ? K.M.A.



I would like you to send me the Article in the covenant that tells me what the finished product should look like. Maybe, it is completed. Until I decide to finish it now I’m calling it completed. Vote in your next Board meeting what to do about that.



If you decide to take action I can walk you through the process. First, you have to file a lien on my house. Since I pay my homeowner dues on time it will fall under a construction lien. This lien will have to be paid for and filed by the Association (Care of the Board). What this does is requires me to “complete” my structure before the lien gets lifted. I will pay no penalties if it is done. Trust me, before I sell my dwelling, I’ll have the fence done and the lien will go away and you wasted only your time.



Next time, come over and give me a “Hey Oscar, whats your schedule on finishing your fence Bud.” in a Howdy friendly way and I might have shared with you that the person that I had lined up to do the wood portion of the fence decided not to do it. The 2nd person I hired had his shop burnt down in Marsing and said he would be back online and could have that done by mid Jan. I would have then told you that the rockwork will be completed shortly after the thaw because laying Mortar in the winter just doesn’t work well without Heat. Next time, don’t waste my time with a Stupid Letter and Pictures.



Any more questions ?





Rolling Green Lot 8, Block 2 Resident.

Oscar T. Williamson II

 

[mtmiller]

Geez, if they aren't turning you in for poaching turkeys they will try to get you on an unfinished fence.

Maybe your next letter will have something to do with a Wonder Bread truck that dumps it's cargo in your driveway every Spring.

 

[JB]

i recomend not sending the letter.....you may one day need something approved.
your best bet is to get off your lazy ass and finish the fence....just pretend its in the way of a hunting trip and get it knocked out.

p.s.: sorry to hear about your bad mood, get over it beotch!

 

[TheTone]

They expect you to go out in this stinking cold spell and work on a fence? Some people have way too much time on their hands and worry too much about everyone else. Great response letter.

 

[Moosie]

Approve something ? I don't need a Commity to Approve anything

I should write in there that if they wanted to bust my Chops they should have brought up the Shop I built (35'x25' with 10' walls and Vaults) without their approval.... and it's not Sided yet either.......

 

[noharleyyet]

I like the letter but it lacks profanity...I suggest you get Mike Hawk to help you embellish it.

 

[JB]

I like the letter but it lacks profanity...I suggest you get Mike Hawk to help you embellish it.

LMAO

 

[Moosie]

I haven't seen Mike Hawk lately. Have you ?

 

[Washington Hunter]

Like the letter Moosie. I'l be interested in seeing their response back.

I think Mike Hawk has been with Mike Hunt.

 

[Calif. Hunter]

I'd have to read your CC&Rs before saying, "Mail the letter."

 

[Moosie]

It's not about being right or Wrong.. It's about making a point.

Don't send me Stupid letters.

 

[Whiskers]

Oscar, your my hero....thats the kind of shit I send out when I am pissed off. My front porch is 68 inch square, its 50 years old and falling off. I want to replace it with a porch that is 68 inches wide (no further encroachment on the street) but 35 ft long, (the length of my house). I went for a construction permit and was told, can't do. I will be encroaching on the street set back. My house sets 27 ft back from the street, all the other houses on my street sit back less than 17 ft. The construction official said all the homes on my street are in violation of the set back. Why would you pass a law requiring a 50ft setback on a street that all the homes are in violation of. I have a zoning committee meeting to go to in January..it ain gonna be pretty.

 

[Mojave]

I haven't seen Mike Hawk lately. Have you ?

Now that is a real and crying shame.

So that neighborhood has covenants? Huh. Son of a gun. Coulda fooled me. Why don't you also suggest that they go harrass your neighbor around the corner, with the trash in the front yard, nonexistant lawn, and the hideous, shall we call it "landscaping" first.

Every time I get a note from our group that I have had my trailer in my driveway for more than the approved day or so for cleaning I want to knock someone in the teeth. Mostly because I'm pretty sure the guy who keeps turning us in is the same guy who has a big ol cardboard sign with the 10 comandments in his front yard. Covenant #?, (I forget) no signs.

 

[Calif. Hunter]

You may consider it a stupid letter, but let me play Devil's Advocate... some trailer trash moves in next to you, and begins to start leaving cars up on blocks in the front yard and along the property line with your house. They have 17 dogs and 12 relatives who move in with them. They never put their trash out, and just bury it in a shallow pit in the back yard. They have a couple of goats that crap all over.

Your house is now worth squat, and you are demanding that the HOA does something.

A little extreme, perhaps - but the point is the same. IF your fence looks like chit, maybe you should finish it and be a good nieghbor.

 

[Mojave]

All things told though. Now that I think about it, jeez I'd love to see what that fence is going to look like finished. I have actually for the last 5 years or so.

I do think it will probably fall apart on you if you try to do it now though. Don't know much about mortar though. Aren't one of you guys a mason on here?

 

[Tom]

Shit, if you have one blade of grass that's too long, one of those board members will be checking daily this summer. They'll probably rotate duty on checking your yard and have fun at each meeting talking about it. You'll get another letter, pronto. They exist to send letters, they probably get reelected based on how many letters they have, etc.

Can you go check their lots? See what they need. You're asking for trouble.
Might as well finish it sort of, a decorative fence? Forward it to the guy who's supposed to finish it, ask him if he'd rather pay the fines or finish the fence, pronto.

I'd count that as a great first draft, but tone it down a little. Don't show it to the guy who's supposed to finish the fence, he'll never do it, if he sees that letter. Ask for and extension, because you had to go to New Mexico, etc. Got drawn for an unexpected trip. Something like that. You were going to do it yourself, except for that, but thanks for the letter, it will help you get the contractor to finish it pronto.

Be sure and wish them a Merry Christmas too!! I'd add that for sure.

 

[Moosie]

A mason isn't the Issue. I'm trying to get a WOOD guy. I want "SKIP PEAL" rail then I'll finish the woodwork around it. I've tried 3 different places and all have brushed me off. HELL folks, I have money, take it DAM IT !!!!!!

The project was Stupid project I started years ago and I'm in the Wrong. It's like Beotching about Speeding when you get caught. .... I know, Get over it

That being said it gets light at 8AM and Dark at 5PM, I "WORK" durringthat time. If i have a Free min durringthe Weekend I want to be (A) Spending some time with the boys, (B) Hunting, (C) Spending time with the Wife...(D, F, .....) (W) Working on Chit outside in the cold....... Kind of in that order.

 

[Tom]

Hey, can you teach the boys how to build a fence? Your wife will cook up some elk steaks, for you all to come in and eat together? Easy idea, hard to do. My house needs lots of work.

I just got my jeep fixed. Jeep number 3. Over 1/2 a million miles on the other two before they died. The city put a tag on jeep #3 in the drive way. Fix it or its a $2000/day fine. I figured I'd get it fixed. I'm driving it back and forth to work now.

harborfreights.com has some good deals on spot lights and heaters. Don't you have one of those heaters to set up? Teach the boys to set up the hunting tent, have the wife cook the elk steaks out in the tent. That's pretty close to just like hunting.

You got to train them, before you actually take them into the mountains. How's that for an idea? Promise them, if they do good finishing the fence, with the tent and all that you'll take them hunting on Thanksgiving and Christmas!! Then hide the presents out under the trees, they want to go on a hunt every Christmas.

 

[Mojave]

Moosie teaching the boys? Hmmm why can't I get Tom Sawyer out of my head at the moment.

 

[Bambistew]

You should add in the "lag" time for the holidays... Nothing will get done on thier end until the middle of January at the earliest.

If it was me, I'd go find the ugliest, cheapest looking 'fence' I could find and put it up. And then put it up half assed and and all out of alignment... Just make sure it will abide by the covenents...

Then I would go around to each of the board members house and take notes on anything that doesn't comply and write a leter...