Little things that will piss off the wife

[steveshuntn1]

Woke up to perfect hunting conditions on Christmas Day in 2018 for a bedding area stand I’d been wanting to hunt so I went for it and killed a buck I’d been after for four years on public land at 10am that morning. I missed her moms dinner at lunchtime. I got there around 2:30 that afternoon and she was a bit ticked off. Her annoyance didn’t last long, but every Christmas since she’ll ask if I’m going hunting on Christmas morning again!

 

[rjthehunter]

Turns out, most women HATE constructive criticism!

 

[BillDoe708]

Just me breathing mostly. Or if I speak to her before she is ready in the morning

 

[Addicting]

I got into last night about not paying attention to her parking spot. When there is a lot of fresh oil from a vehicle that didn’t have leaks you need to tell me.

Her response is: Why would I look, it doesn’t leak oil.

My response was until it does and pointed at the foot round puddle of transmission fluid.

Didn’t win any brownie points last night…

 

[Phaseolus]

Shrinking her bras in the drier has got me into trouble in the past.

 

[Mallardsx2]

I tell her this all the time.

“I am the mongoose and you are the cobra. Actually today I’m feeling like a honey badger, either way, it isn’t good for you!”

 

[brocksw]

After 32 years I finally learned to keep my mouth shut when she is driving. No facial expressions either.

And yet...

 

[BigHornRam]

And yet...
View attachment 245633

He looks happy.

 

[MarvB]

Shrinking her bras in the drier has got me into trouble in the past.

Should have told her you were just there for "support" ...

 

[bullbugle307]

Turning on the bedroom light at 3 in the morning getting ready for work. I don't do that anymore.

Yep. Downside of that is half the time I get to work and several hours in I realize my fly is down. Only seems to happen when I get dressed in the dark.

 

[bullbugle307]

When you tell her if she starts acting or looking anymore like her mother she's gotta go.

Mine always says “let me know if I start acting like my mom.”

Only had to take the bait and step on that land mine once to learn that that really means the exact opposite of what it sounds like.

 

[Gellar]

Def the driving…. My wife WILL NOT drive with me in the car as my facial expressions are likely comparable to one who just stepped into a yellow jacket nest . I mean she is so OCD about keeping her car clean that she keeps one of those little microfiber cloths in the door and is constantly wiping the dash with it… CAN YOU JUST DRIVE PLEASE??? Not to mention that I’ve always got some project going around our place and need to grab something at ACE so I tag along (typically dirty) and get the stank eye going to town.

Her other pet peeve (just two?) with me is that when she’s with me and I’m driving a short distance (say from the mailboxes in or in town between stores) I don’t buckle and the alarm chimes drive her crazy. Didn’t help her eye roll much when I offered to cut the belt end off the old ranch truck and just keep it in the seatbelt receiving end if she wanted…I got one of those “THATS NOT THE POINT” lectures …

Google your make and year. I bet there is a hack to shut that chime off. It usually involves buckling and unbuckling in a certain cadence.

 

[WVmike]

Getting something in the mail that I ordered without her knowing and her asking "when did you order that". My response, I ordered that a while back with that extra money we had.

 

[MTGomer]

Def the driving…. My wife WILL NOT drive with me in the car as my facial expressions are likely comparable to one who just stepped into a yellow jacket nest . I mean she is so OCD about keeping her car clean that she keeps one of those little microfiber cloths in the door and is constantly wiping the dash with it… CAN YOU JUST DRIVE PLEASE??? Not to mention that I’ve always got some project going around our place and need to grab something at ACE so I tag along (typically dirty) and get the stank eye going to town.

Her other pet peeve (just two?) with me is that when she’s with me and I’m driving a short distance (say from the mailboxes in or in town between stores) I don’t buckle and the alarm chimes drive her crazy. Didn’t help her eye roll much when I offered to cut the belt end off the old ranch truck and just keep it in the seatbelt receiving end if she wanted…I got one of those “THATS NOT THE POINT” lectures …

I’m with your wife on this one. Anybody that drives around with seat belt chime going off is a psychopath.

 

[Stocker]

I’m with your wife on this one. Anybody that drives around with seat belt chime going off is a psychopath.

Yeah, just plug it in behind you like a normal person.

 

[Nick87]

@MarvB @Gellar here ya go!

2pcs Universal Car Auto Bottle Opener Seat Belt Buckle Alarm Stopper Clip US – Kuplo™

kuplo.com

 

[deer_shooter]

I can piss my wife off without doing or saying anything. Anyone else achieve this level of mastery?

 

[FreezerHunter]

My wife really likes it when I compare her cooking to my Mom’s cooking.

 

[Gellar]

@MarvB @Gellar here ya go!

2pcs Universal Car Auto Bottle Opener Seat Belt Buckle Alarm Stopper Clip US – Kuplo™

kuplo.com

Just looking at that is making me thirsty.

 

[Nick87]

My wife really likes it when I compare her cooking to my Mom’s cooking.

Oh man at the holidays one year some of the food at my moms was cold by the time it all got done. So my step dad says you know my mom never had a problem keeping the food hot. The look on my wife's face was priceless knowing that those two mix like oil and water