Lawyers (no offence LV)

[2fastnaz]

The Post Office just recalled their latest stamps. They had pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

* How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.

* How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.

* How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.

* How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

* How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

* If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could save only one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

* What did the lawyer name his daughter? - Sue.

* What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? - Skeet.

* What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
Senator.

* What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your honor.

* What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.

* What does a lawyer use for birth control?
His personality.

* What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

* What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

* What's another difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Removable wing tips.

* Why does California have the most lawyers in the
country while New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.

 

[DM423]

That would be funny if it wasn't so true.

 

[ELKCHSR]

I especially like this one...
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> * If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could save only one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

[Elkhunter]

LMAO ....... Those are good

 

[trophy_killer]

LMAO