kids sneaking out

[PRO MO]

i have a teenager hell bent on sneaking out of the house to go hang out with boys. does anyone have advice on how to prevent this? i'm having trouble finding good window locks or reliable door alarms that would work for what we have. i'm considering razor wire, but that seems like it might harm our pets, or wildlife. I'm also told i cannot use a straight jacket, yet.

 

[Deez Nutz]

Have a conversation with the kid? Lovingly speak reality, consequences and sense to them.

 

[shelbycoltd]

hangout with "the boys" or "boys"?
this is a girl?

 

[Dubz337]

Walk a careful line here. In the end its just a teenager being a teenager. Establish boundaries and the benefit of conducting themselves responsibly, but talk of alarms and razor wire is a good way to insure your kid going no contact with you once they're moved out.

 

[shelbycoltd]

kill the boys.

 

[Hem]

Move out to the country.

 

[JohnCushman]

Put her on the pill and let her do what she's going to do no matter what you want or say.

 

[Dave N]

Move out to the country.

Doesn't work.

 

[Beignet]

Build a moat, fill it with ‘gators.

 

[Hem]

Doesn't work.

Chastity belt then.

 

[texwest44]

When I was a young man, my house was the "hang out" place, and the girls who spent their time at home wanted to spend their time at home, rather than with us. There might be changes that need to be made in the home setting to make it more satisfying than sneaking out to get validation from other kids. Some of the most regular visitors to my place were the military and Mormon kids kept under very rigid thumbs, whose homes had very little in terms of love/validation/acceptance. Just 2 cents from a former rebellious young man.

 

[shelbycoltd]

German Sheppard. Belgian malinois.

 

[RG300]

rock/hard spot for sure....... where there is a will, there is a way..... just hope (& pray) she is one to take advice from a loving parent & doesn't have to learn the hard way.

 

[shelbycoltd]

Put her on the pill and let her do what she's going to do no matter what you want or say.

it has to be extremely difficult to accept as a father, but this might be the best course of action.
and land mines.

 

[Dave N]

Had both my girls climbing out the bedroom window and back in. One was just hanging out in town and the other was meeting guys. I wired the screen to the frame so it wouldn't go up. It stopped that but the back door was still available. Living in the country just means walking down the road a little and meeting the driver. Not much you can do but hope nothing bad happens. Fight them too much and they don't like you so much anymore. We pretty much lost our oldest after I found a guy in her bed one morning and she followed up by hooking up with a known drug dealer that was just after her for sex.

 

[PRO MO]

in all seriousness, we have tried to be patient with her and we let her get away with a lot, but the sneaking out (and lying and everything else) has crossed a line. she snuck out of a friends house and did not come home the next day until after noon when all the parents were scrambling to find them. Her mom was completely at a loss after that episode, which also included vaping and weed. It embarrassing to say, but she's only 13 years old. She's been at her grandma's house for the last 2 weeks, but is ready to come home. I'm at the point that i don't trust anything she says or does, but i want her back home. but i cannot handle more sneaking out, so i'm thinking of getting locks for the windows, and finding some sort of alarm to rig up for her door at night. of course, that would get triggered anytime she needs to get water, or use the bathroom so i'm up for ideas??
We've also discussed IUD but she has promised its not at that point, and i leave that up to her mom to make those decisions.

 

[PRO MO]

Have a conversation with the kid? Lovingly speak reality, consequences and sense to them.

we've done that, especially after the first time she was caught - by the police - after a high speed (100mph) chase in town with police. she was in the car with 16, 17 and 18yo boys. the 18yo sat in jail for a couple weeks, i believe, after that incident.
She doesn't seem to recognize or care that she is putting herself in dangerous situations, or what it is doing to her family and her friends. We're not trying to make it a pity party, but just laying out the consequences of what she's doing. Her friends see her as the bad kid now and don't want to hang out with her, her older sister wants nothing to do with her. We've got her into counseling, but it hasn't changed anything yet.

 

[Dubz337]

in all seriousness, we have tried to be patient with her and we let her get away with a lot, but the sneaking out (and lying and everything else) has crossed a line. she snuck out of a friends house and did not come home the next day until after noon when all the parents were scrambling to find them. Her mom was completely at a loss after that episode, which also included vaping and weed. It embarrassing to say, but she's only 13 years old. She's been at her grandma's house for the last 2 weeks, but is ready to come home. I'm at the point that i don't trust anything she says or does, but i want her back home. but i cannot handle more sneaking out, so i'm thinking of getting locks for the windows, and finding some sort of alarm to rig up for her door at night. of course, that would get triggered anytime she needs to get water, or use the bathroom so i'm up for ideas??
We've also discussed IUD but she has promised its not at that point, and i leave that up to her mom to make those decisions.

13 years old makes it a whole different ball game. Maybe try taking away the phone for a while. Can't make dumb plans if she has no device to make dumb plans on.

 

[Nick87]

Yikes @PRO MO. Good luck buddy I have no help. Sucks when the kids lie to your face like that. My step son does it all the time. Like to to just label him when he does it. Kids are gonna do shit they're not supposed to but lying is the worst imo. Hope your able get it under control soon.

 

[perma]

in all seriousness, we have tried to be patient with her and we let her get away with a lot, but the sneaking out (and lying and everything else) has crossed a line. she snuck out of a friends house and did not come home the next day until after noon when all the parents were scrambling to find them. Her mom was completely at a loss after that episode, which also included vaping and weed. It embarrassing to say, but she's only 13 years old. She's been at her grandma's house for the last 2 weeks, but is ready to come home. I'm at the point that i don't trust anything she says or does, but i want her back home. but i cannot handle more sneaking out, so i'm thinking of getting locks for the windows, and finding some sort of alarm to rig up for her door at night. of course, that would get triggered anytime she needs to get water, or use the bathroom so i'm up for ideas??
We've also discussed IUD but she has promised its not at that point, and i leave that up to her mom to make those decisions.

Sorry you’re going through this.

I used to hang out with dudes that were like that. Not the 18 y/o pedo part. In that context, what fixed their issue was dad fixing all of them. And that was him pulling a few all nighters with a shotgun in his hand.

Fixing her and fixing what’s influencing her is going to be the real root cause of it all. Otherwise, her sneaking out is best addressed with catching her in the act IMO.

I snuck out a few times, caught by my dad once. I believed in God that day, because I was asking him for mercy that night. Never again.