Is it worth it?

[Brian in Montana]

For the past 4 years I've been in a job that pays well, but has always been a little more than I can handle. I've had difficult jobs before, but always been able to hang in there and eventually develop a rhythm and keep my head above water. This one, in 4 years, I've never quite gotten there. Now I'm just kinda burned out, and worn out, and just don't really even do the things that drew me to this line of work in the first place. On one hand it's been a blessing because the bills are paid and we have plenty extra money to save away, donate to charities, and get things we want (within reason) without having to worry about it. However, I'm pretty much just exhausted all the time, don't sleep well, and feel like I need to be in 5 places at once constantly. I can take retirement in about 4.5 years, but a lot of days I just don't think I can keep it up that much longer.

I have a possibility to step down into a different job that we be far less stress, but about a $4 - $5 an hour pay cut. Our finances are such that we could absorb that, but I'm having a great deal of psychological dissonance over it. I've always worked with the philosophy that I'm always going to do the best I can, put in for every promotion, and provide for my family. Now I'm looking at willfully taking a step back. It's hard.

I don't know. I'm not sure why I'm posting this, maybe just needed to air it out a little. I'm in a mid-management position in the state Probation and Parole division of the Department of Corrections where I just get it from all sides. Always some kind of drama and problems with no good solutions. I've done some good in places, but I'm not sure its worth it anymore. The voices in my head tell me to suck it up and be a man, but I confess my heart is not in it anymore. I'm just doing it because it pays well. There was a time years ago when I felt this profession was sort of a calling. Man those days are gone.

 

[Deleted member 28227]

We all need to air it out from time to time.

I don't have a good answer, life is short though, and it sounds like you have put some time into a tough job. I think finding something that's sustainable is important for your long term health and happiness and for that of your coworkers.

 

[Losing_Sanity]

Life is to short... You either have to change you perspective or change your life. 4 Or 5 bucks an hour is not much when it comes to happiness. My advice, consult with God if your a religious man. Let him guide you and accept his answer as the right one. Easier said than done....

Good luck with your dilemma.

 

[Finnman]

I was in your shoes a couple months ago. Ended up quitting my construction job after 9 years. Boss didn't allow much hunting time. No benefits what so ever. One raise in all those years. Said the he'll with it! Went on my own. Now I make more, work less, and hunt more.

 

[Pahoundsman]

I’ve learned that a man makes his own misery, with that said you have to do what makes you HAPPY. If you’re not happy you make everyone around you miserable. I don’t have an answer for you,good luck and prayers

 

[Nameless Range]

You could throw this advice away, but I will say to have a job you love is life changing in similar ways to finding someone or something you love:

Get a job you are more likely to like. Try something new. You could be dead tomorrow. You are running out of time.

 

[Brian in Montana]

I think my main problem is I just can't get away from it, or turn it off anymore. The Saturday before last I was up on a mountain top with my bow and binoculars, just happened to get cell signal up there, and wouldn't you know it, I get an emergency call from our on-call Officer. So there I was on a mountain in a cold drizzle, talking through a situation and calling others that needed to be informed. This past Saturday, similar thing, but at my son's birthday party. I could just turn off my phone, but there are some unwritten expectations.

 

[deer_shooter]

Took me a while, probably too long, to figure out that money was not the most important thing in life. Important yes, but as a certain point in your life, peace of mind, some job satisfaction and quality of life is worth more than a few bucks. If you can take a step back and not hurt financially, you gain some life back and can still retire in a few years. I think that's what I would do. Keep in mind though, my wife and I have no children or close family and she makes the same as me so we have a lot more freedoms and a lot less to worry about than someone with a family.

 

[406Born]

My opinion is that it’s not worth it. It is no fun to be miserable all the time. If you can still pay your bills with less money and be happier I say go for it. Life is short and there are more important things than money.

No one knows the whole situation other than you so talk it over with your family and decide what is best. Good luck

 

[SFC B]

I have had to make similar decisions a couple of time. What most on here DON'T know about me is that I have a JD. I went to law school when the wife and I were first married after a short stint as a Deputy Sheriff. Thought I knew the courts and the law. Law school is no joke and I got absolutely pounded with course work for the first two years. Third year it is eases up a bit and I took 2 different shots at clerking.....one for a GP in a medium sized town and one was a corporate gig for an automobile component manufacturer. They both crushed my very soul. The corporate gig was mind numbingly dull, even if surprisingly MUCH more acceptable morally. The GP? I just cannot express how horrible I would feel after every day I worked there. Between the billing being absolute highway robbery (example- attorney charge the same hourly rate for "work" on the case whether they or paralegals/clerks do the work. In my case I was getting $7.50 hr as a clerk in 1997 and he was charging his $150 hr for my work) and taking cases (both civil and criminal) for absolutely deplorable humans I KNEW I couldn't practice. I ended up going on active duty in the Army (the first 7 year stint) until I eventually used the JD doing Labor Relations for the Department of Defense Overseas Schools upon ETS. It was a very well paying job (GS13 with overseas benefits) and we lived on a beautiful farm in England BUT I worked for a horribly offensive woman and had to deal with 3 different teacher's unions. I know that most teachers are good people but their unions are the single most vile and criminal large scale organizations in the world. Ended up volunteering to go back on Active Duty in order to get out of that shiz show. Took a large pay cut but still able to live well and my piece of mind and sleep improved immediately. I did have to work for a couple of more years as a civilian Federal Agent once I retired from the military to secure that second retirement but I retired from that ASAP as well. This is a long way of saying that the "bigger, better deal" simply for the money is not worth it. Once you retire nobody will remember or care what you did for work but your family will remember what kind of mood you were always in. Also, the extra time it is costing you will never come back.

 

[gouch]

I won't presume to tell you what to do but if it were me I would already be long gone.

 

[rwc101]

I'll go a bit against the grain here. Maybe talk to a counselor or therapist about work/life balance for a few weeks. Pay a couple hundred in counseling to possibly keep the better paying job with less stress.

Or maybe it does really just suck that bad and you should quit.

 

[belshawelk]

Be happy with your work. If you don't like it do something else if you can afford it. Period. Life is too short to be miserable or not enjoying something.

 

[Bambistew]

Life is too short to be stressed out an unhappy with your job. Totally understand though, I was in a similar situation about 7-8 years ago. Too much stress and not enough life balance. I switched jobs, lost the stress, and love life now. There are days that I don't feel like working so I don't. Haha I want a day or a week off, I take it.

I would look for a different job and move up, no way I would move back unless it was a last resort. I'm sure you could use your experience to move upward or at least laterally into another field. Best of luck with what you chose.

 

[TheGrayRider]

“Someday” is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you. Tim Ferriss.

 

[CoffeeGoat]

Your comment on "provide for my family, seek every promotion" caught my eye. I think it's a laudable ideal, and one I generally support, but you might need to reevaluate your metrics for success. You say yourself that more money is unnecessary, and you also say that it's cutting into family time - these don't square with your stated priorities. Providing for my family includes time and energy for them.
I can't answer the question of whether you should quit and move on, but I've been in that place before and it's always worth evaluating the why. In my case it resulted in a pay cut to have more time for my kids, they'll grow up with or without me, I want to prioritize them. Furthermore, onward and upwards sometimes looks like sideways and backwards - that pay cut job allowed me to grow skills that furthered my career afterwards.
Good luck

 

[WV Hunter]

Most jobs/careers for the majority of people suck. Very few find that job “they love”. I find ways to make it tolerable. Jokes that rub up against the line, backdoor insults of “important people” that the other disgruntled gen x’r gets, disappearing for hours, spitting in other people’s trash cans, etc. I could go on for hours. Sometimes I miss the office. Now that I’ve worked for home for years I spend my time smacking the ass of my wife and making fun of my kids, training the dog and occasionally taking a customer lunch. It’s not all bad.

 

[NMGuy]

My advice is to step down. If you're noticing the burnout, I'd almost guarantee your family and your coworkers have noticed it too.

I was in almost the same situation a few years ago. I worked my way up to a job in management in state government and did that for almost three years. It was terrible and I got far more burnt out than I realized. Unrealistic expectations, excessive workload, unspoken rules, inadequate resources to support my employees, time away from home and a never ending uphill fight with HR to address performance issues. All of that made me realize that supervising others in state government is simply not something I want to do, regardless of pay. I tried to step down within that Bureau, but they created a situation where it was better to just leave entirely. I took a job in another Department and have never been happier.

 

[JLS]

Life is to short... You either have to change you perspective or change your life.

This times infinity.

 

[WyoDoug]

My thoughts are no job is worth a lot of stress and bullshit to put it bluntly. That is what lead to me retiring last week on my job and I am happy I did. I would take the pay cut rather than work at a job I was not enthused about. Answer to your question, no, I do not think it's worth it to hang on there. Go where you will be happy with what you are doing.