I knew her time was near....

I lost a 14 yr old lab five years ago. When she was struggling and near the end someone told me “they are part of your life but you are all of their lives, do all you can for them”. You did all you could, RIP to a great friend.
 
I wish I had less experience in grieving, but it is what it is. Suggestions: let it out, cry when you need to, tell it to whoever will listen. Write it down. Most of us aren't willing to live that kind of anguish all day, every day until it eases. So we need to manage it, have times when we put the sadness aside, and times when the loss is our sole focus. Being alone for that, going where you went w your best friend. Putting ALL your emotions and memories into a record, like a journal. Most of us men try to skip the emotional part, because it is unfamiliar to us and really hard. Write in it, save pictures, use it to remember. Spend time w the journal, those emotions and memories daily, 30 uninterrupted minutes if possible, around the same time each day as a routine. Be diligent, don't skip many days. Include (+) memories and emotions. This process encourages you to practice the memories you will keep, as the sorrow runs its course. Over weeks you will have less sadness to journal, and will have less need to write or read it. You will always have the journal as a reminder of your unique friendship.

Deeply sorry for your loss. Sending wishes for peace and strength.
P9180011.JPG
 
jrabq said:
…..but I can't believe she's gone. My best friend Ziba died yesterday, Thanksgiving Day. She got out of her bed and then fell over, unable to walk but holding her head up. After a while she started having seizures and I got her moved downstairs in preparation for the next step. The phone calls to the vet went unanswered, so I drove to the office not far away to see if they had any emergency contacts listed on the door, which they did (it would have been nice it they put that info on their answering machine, BTW). So I called the emergency number and got the details where to take her. Then my wife called and told me Ziba had just died in her arms. At least she died at her home, but I felt terrible for not being there. Her health had been going downhill for the last year or two, but it had been mostly mobility/hip issues. Just recently it did seem like something else was going on with her, but we couldn't figure out what it was. One thing we noticed was she had not barked in the last couple of months. Some days she looked bad, other days she looked pretty spry, wagging her tail a lot.

She was a couple months shy of her 14th birthday, I was really expecting her to last until then, perhaps even another 6 months to a year. I knew this was going to hurt, but it's hit me harder than I expected. Happening on Thanksgiving has made it even tougher. She was my best friend and hunting buddy for the last 13 years, the most special dog I've ever had.

Goodbye sweet Ziba, R.I.P.

Here's one of my favorite pics, when she was about 4, and the source of my avatar. View attachment 121364
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your loss
 
I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a friend and family member is so hard. Their friendship and love is so unconditional ... but also too short lived.
 
elkduds said:
I wish I had less experience in grieving, but it is what it is. Suggestions: let it out, cry when you need to, tell it to whoever will listen. Write it down. Most of us aren't willing to live that kind of anguish all day, every day until it eases. So we need to manage it, have times when we put the sadness aside, and times when the loss is our sole focus. Being alone for that, going where you went w your best friend. Putting ALL your emotions and memories into a record, like a journal. Most of us men try to skip the emotional part, because it is unfamiliar to us and really hard. Write in it, save pictures, use it to remember. Spend time w the journal, those emotions and memories daily, 30 uninterrupted minutes if possible, around the same time each day as a routine. Be diligent, don't skip many days. Include (+) memories and emotions. This process encourages you to practice the memories you will keep, as the sorrow runs its course. Over weeks you will have less sadness to journal, and will have less need to write or read it. You will always have the journal as a reminder of your unique friendship.

Deeply sorry for your loss. Sending wishes for peace and strength.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your kind thoughts and suggestions elkduds. I haven't started a journal exactly, but I have been collecting all of my photos and videos with Ziba in them, they are scattered across a few computers and storage devices. In the process of putting them all in one spot, I'm about 2/3's through going in chronological order. Most of the time is spent looking at videos, some have lot's of Ziba footage, some have none, but I don't know till I look. Tears have been shed, and I suppose it will get worse as I get to the videos and pics of her last few years. The day after she died I did write a brief summary of her life with some highlight photos and a few memories on my FB page, but now I'm reliving the memories in more detail.

I did take the day off and go duck hunting with a friend and my young dog Maggie. We shared some memories of Ziba and I managed to keep it together, barely. My new dog is now 2 and she is mostly underperforming and a source of disappointment. But today she had a good day, which helped my mood. I knocked down a mallard on a high shot that managed to sort of recover during the fall and sailed upriver 150-200 yards. I did not see exactly where it went down because of the bend in the river and some trees blocking the view. We quickly went up the river bank, I was expecting the duck to be in the river channel but it was not there. We started looking along the river bank thinking it was hidden there or perhaps lodged up against some overhanging limbs by the current. The breeze was in our face and Maggie started acting a bit birdy, she went up ahead of me along the bank through some brush. Shortly afterward she came back to me with the duck in her mouth, so Good Dog! I still don't know exactly where she found the duck, but doesn't matter now, it was a very "Ziba-like" moment which made me very happy. I'm going to wait till tomorrow evening before I start compiling the photos and videos again, along the lines of "managing it" as per your suggestion.
 
jrabq, I find that lots of pets, horses, dogs, ducks, and cats all change when a central pet in the house is lost. You may see more Ziba-like moments from Maggie. I shall hope for the best for both of you.

You can never replace a dog, but you can have a new adventure with another one. They are so unique.

Best wishes!
 
There are few things better than a good lab. Fourteen years with one is a lot to be thankful for and sorrowful over at the same time. So it is with dogs and all things we love.
Congrats on those good years and my condolences during this loss.
HD
 
I'm not sure how I missed this thread but so sorry for your loss. It's tough losing a pet and even tougher losing a pet that's a hunting companion as well. I'm sure you have some great memories with Ziba.
 
My heart breaks for you and your family. People that have never experienced the love that a lab brings will never understand. We lost our lab Charlie a little over a year ago and I still grieve for her I hope God will always Bless you and your family
 
It's been a week now and the clouds of grief have been lifting recently, but the first 3-4 days were extra tough. Going hunting Monday morning helped. I have also reviewed all of my Ziba photos and videos and consolidated them into one place. It had been a long time since I had looked at her puppy pictures, so that always brings a smile (one below). At elkduds suggestion I've been writing down some of my memories and thoughts, will probably keep doing that for a few more days. It has been a good exercise, now most of my memories produce a smile, with only an occasional tear. Writing this thread and reading the nice comments has also helped, so thanks to everyone👍.

But the grief is still lurking around. Tuesday I decided to go buy some new decoys at Cabelas that were on sale. The price didn't ring up right so the lady cashier had to call over the manager. While we were waiting she asks; "So how was your Thanksgiving?"

Well crap! Normally the "Small Talk" program in your brain would take over and just say something like "It was nice, how was yours?" But my brain just locked up; it was in fact one of the saddest days of my life and I could not bring myself say otherwise. After a long ~5 seconds of silence I finally sputtered out; "Actually not very good". She looked up and saw the pain in my face and said; "Oh, I'm sorry", and quickly started talking about something else, which was nice of her. So that was awkward enough, fortunately I managed to keep from totally loosing it, but it was close 🥵. Thank God she didn't ask me what happened. The speed at which the wave of grief hit me was totally unexpected, so I've still got a ways to go.

I think I'll go hunting tomorrow.

Ziba stuffed kittyB May 2006.JPG
 
Took my twelve year old best friend bird machine out yesterday morning to chase roosters. She still hunts her heart out.
We got home and she was really tuckered. Spent rest of the day laying real still and quiet. Too still and too quiet. Not the same intense, limitless go-getter she's always been........
I sat with her and the other dawgs, pettin' her head and thinking of all we have done together and what she has meant to my life. Got kinda hard to see clear for a bit.

This thread and your loss played on my mind. We who have been through it, and will choose go through it again accept some pretty goddamned difficult math. But we also wouldn't trade the pain for the joy.

But it does plain suck. Thoughts, jrbaq........................................................
 
jrabq said:
Thank you for your kind thoughts and suggestions elkduds. I haven't started a journal exactly, but I have been collecting all of my photos and videos with Ziba in them, they are scattered across a few computers and storage devices. In the process of putting them all in one spot, I'm about 2/3's through going in chronological order. Most of the time is spent looking at videos, some have lot's of Ziba footage, some have none, but I don't know till I look. Tears have been shed, and I suppose it will get worse as I get to the videos and pics of her last few years. The day after she died I did write a brief summary of her life with some highlight photos and a few memories on my FB page, but now I'm reliving the memories in more detail.

I did take the day off and go duck hunting with a friend and my young dog Maggie. We shared some memories of Ziba and I managed to keep it together, barely. My new dog is now 2 and she is mostly underperforming and a source of disappointment. But today she had a good day, which helped my mood. I knocked down a mallard on a high shot that managed to sort of recover during the fall and sailed upriver 150-200 yards. I did not see exactly where it went down because of the bend in the river and some trees blocking the view. We quickly went up the river bank, I was expecting the duck to be in the river channel but it was not there. We started looking along the river bank thinking it was hidden there or perhaps lodged up against some overhanging limbs by the current. The breeze was in our face and Maggie started acting a bit birdy, she went up ahead of me along the bank through some brush. Shortly afterward she came back to me with the duck in her mouth, so Good Dog! I still don't know exactly where she found the duck, but doesn't matter now, it was a very "Ziba-like" moment which made me very happy. I'm going to wait till tomorrow evening before I start compiling the photos and videos again, along the lines of "managing it" as per your suggestion.
Click to expand...

You know Ziba was up there giving her all the assistance and support she could muster on that retrieve.

Writing down the stories is a great idea! Kind of like a memorial/celebration of life.
 
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