Hunting vs Real life question??

[Highcountry]

Hi guys,

I need some advice from some of you with more experience with the ladies than I have. Here is the problem, I have been married to my wife for about 2 years and she has never had a problem with the amount of time I spend hunting and fishing....until now. Every year my Dad and I take the third week of oct to deer hunt the Idaho general season. We have been doing this since I was 14 or so ( 27 now), also this year 2 of my cousins will be joining us, I havent seen either of them for goin on 5 years, so I was/am really looking forward to this years hunt. One BIG problem though, my wifes older brother is getting married Oct 21st in Southern California ( 3rd time in 6 years by the way). I could swing it if it was just a day or two, but they expect the whole family to be there for 5 days! We are the only ones who dont live in California, so I told the wife it was a no go, to say she didnt like my response is puting it mildly. She went off about how sometimes I have to live in the real world instead of my own world, and that I needed to support her and her brother and on and on, the last thing she said about it is that she was going to book plane tickets this weekend.......So what do I say, what do I do?, What would you do? Anybody else been in this position before? No one in her family has even thought about hunting so it makes it hard to appeal on those grounds.. Thanks in advance for any help.

-Highcountry

 

[noharleyyet]

I'd probably go with her but not for 5 days. Compromise & salvage at least some of the hunt Tough call, good luck. You've got to be luckier than your bro-in-law btw.

 

[Washington Hunter]

That's sure a difficult situation to be in, but if your wife's brother really wanted you to show up for the wedding, he could have done it some time other than that particular week! |oo
There is no way I would give up my week of hunting with my family. Why don't you go on your hunt and your wife go to the wedding? I never could understand why anybody would choose to get married during hunting season anyway! What is wrong with some people?

 

[JASON LEE]

Sorry, but you can look at the pics when she get home.

Stand firm brother.

Look at it this way, when the time comes and your dad isnt around, you will cherish the hunts more.

5 days for a wedding is stupid and you already had plans for that week.

Tell us how the hunt goes

 

[Elkhunter]

Hunting season comes first. Been married for 31 plus years now and my lovely wife respects my time for hunting being that it is only a short time out of the entire year. She has gone to several weddings alone and has taken vacations back est to visit family while I was out hunting. I mised my best friends wedding because it was during my elk season. he understood, his wife understood and so di mine. We are still great friends and will do anything we can for each other.

 

[wilecoyote76]

Highcountry, here's how I see it. Fortunately, most general deer hunts here in Idaho start October 10th. I know this isn't the best of time for deer hunting but it does give you some other time frames to deal with when it comes to hunting. 5 days does seem to be a bit excessive when it comes to a stinkin' wedding but..... I would try to work it out so that you can hunt and be at the wedding. Both parties get what they want and feelings don't get hurt saying one family is more important than the other. I have three kids and two birthdays fall in premium spring turkey times and the other, deer hunting so I have given up a lot of 'field' time for the sake of the family. I get over it once the wounds heal and scars fade but it does stink at the time.

Since there is a lot of time between now and October, maybe you can make other arrangements with the old man and cousins to get 'r' done at an earlier/later time period. It will all work out....or at least you hope it does!! LOL

 

[Moosie]

I have to say Family come first. Sounds wierd coming from me maybe but it does...... And since you are your wiefs Family, she should let you come first and go hunting

I'm with Wile76 on this one, Change your Hunting date and compramise the 5 days. 5 days for a Wedding WTF ? Are tehy practicing for 4 days prior to the wedding ? 5 days ? unless it's a Cruise wedding (Which would be cool) 5 days does seem like alot.

All that being said, going hunt and losing a wife isn't worth it. If you give her the 5 days, you could use that for years, and still hunt with your dad the week before. Remember, Live smart, and by your rules..................... Can't wait to hear about your hunting trip !!!!!!

 

[Nut]

I agree with wile and Moosie for the same reasons.

However I have missed my wife's siblings every wedding. Brother had one last year (#2)and her sister will be going for #4 this month(which we will miss). I am lucky I guess

 

[1WHITETAIL HUNTER]

Tough Love

Buy your wife a plane ticket and tell her to say hello to everyone for you. If you give in this time it will be harder to say no next time. Remind her that you didn't marry her brother and your father won't be around forever. I could see going if it was his first marriage but 3 times in 6 years, no way would I give up a week of hunting with my dad for that.

 

[DRAFTSTUD]

Dude, Wedding #3!!!!!!!!!!, Tell him to go to the Justice of the Peace! If you give in to this kind of crap, whats next?, the birth of a child or something like that! That baby is going to be there long after you want it to stay! Now remember, we are all behind you and support whatever decision you make, as long as you chose to go Hunting with your Dad. In this case your In-Laws are turning into Out-Laws. Stand firm and send picture of your Deer. BTW, Could you post a picture of your Wife? One of us could possibably stand in for you. Mtmiller, What are you doing around that time? Good Luck! John

 

[JohnSWA]

I'm siding with Draftstud.

Sorry man, but if it was the 1st wedding... sure! Go and have a good time! For crying out loud, it's the guys 3rd wedding! It sounds like this guy needs a new hobby! I'm sorry if that sounds kind of cold, but lets be realistic. If you lived in the same state I'd understand, but two states away? Forget it! Let your wife go and enjoy herself. How much fun is it going to be for you while you're thinking about spending time with your family in the woods?.

Have you thought about asking her to go by herself?

I guess I'm kind of prick, but this would be a no brainer for me and I even get to fly for free! Maybe there are other issues here that we don't know about but either way, I wish you luck in your decision.

 

[A-con]

No matter what you decide, use this chance to let your wife know how important hunting is to you. Make sure she understands that you WILL be going hunting, every fall, one way or another.
Five days for wedding #3, and they can’t live without YOU. In my opinion ( and I could be wrong ) this isn’t about a wedding, this is a power play, either by your wife, or her family. Nobody can tell you what to do, you have to live with her, but you don’t have to live with her family.

 

[1_pointer]

If you REALLY love your wife and she you, the two of you will be able to work out a compromise. I've been through my parents divorce and for me that is not worth it over a hunting trip, even more important if the two of you have kids. As the other's have said, you have plenty of time to hunt before the wedding. My advice is to work it out, even if that means both of you are equally dissatisfied with the agreement.

 

[Whiskers]

( 3rd time in 6 years by the way).

Thats the key! 3 times in 6 years, its not a historical moment anymore. Not even a special event. If she wants to go, she can go. Your never know how long your POP's gonna be around, or how many more years he can make the trek. I think I would tell her sorry dear, I made the first two, and they didn't work maybe I jinxed them. See what happens this time, give them my love, have fun, see ya when ya get back.
I am pretty fortunate, my wife would understand, and go by herself. My wifes family doesn't hunt. When her sister got married (for the first and only time by the way) she scheduled the wedding for the first week in December. I half jokingly told my wife this was deer season, and I would have to miss the wedding. She called her sister, because it was still in the beginning of the planning stages, she changed the date to sometime in March. Not sure if it was because of me, or for another reason, I like to think it was because of me. Thats why her sister will always have a special spot in my heart...besides she is smokin hot.

 

[Steiny]

My buddies sister in law has been married 6 or 7 times.
He say's "I just go to the even numbered ones anymore".

 

[Hunterman]

If the little lady is booking the tickets this week-end,, well I just say,,,,have a great time in So. Cal. hump Besides how long has it been that the whole family got together ??

Lets see Been married fir two years,,,thats two weeks of hunting( time spent away from wifie) One week in So. Cal with the wife hump

Now for the REAL answer to your question: BE A MAN AND GIVE IN TO HER...IT'LL BETTER IN THE LONG (and short) RUN

Hunterman(Tony)

 

[noharleyyet]

I just thought of somethig that might be important...are your wife's parents rich?

 

[danr55]

Everything all boils down to priorities. What is your first priority, your wife or the hunting trip? Sometimes, it's hard to decide.

There are a couple of thoughts that I've learned over the years, and I'm sure the Moosie and Elkhunter can both attest to..

If Moma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Happy wife, Happy life.

It's your choice.

 

[heelerdog]

Hell I didn't go to MY sisters wedding. Her who the hell knows what marriage in less than ten years. My Mom is pissed at me but I could give a rats ass. If she didn't get married as often as she eats maybe I wouldve gone but obviously the institution of marriage is not something she is that strong of a believer in. That being said go to the wedding one day for the hangover and get your ass to Idaho and hunt with YOUR family. Compromise my friend and that seems like a fair compromise. If your wife can't see your trying to be fair than screw the wedding and go hunting cuz it'll only get worse from there. Don't get pissed just be fair.

 

[powderburn]

I took 2 days out of my hunting season last November to be at my brothers wedding in Vegas. Both him and my new sister-inlaw haven't talked to me since. Maybe it was getting half cut and asking why the bride was wearing white or asking my brother WTF he was doing getting married during hunting season. Either way it didn't effect the outcome of the season it still turned out great and if I had to do it over I'd still ask her why she wore white.