Hunting and Bipolar

[Pucky Freak]

Time at the range was a mixed bag. I had some trouble with the rimfires, but the .357 ended up working far better than expected.

I had the most trouble with the .22 auto pistol. The close proximity of the compensator to my head made for a very loud report. It’s not something I am too thrilled about shooting at game without ear protection. I also anticipated far less recoil, but with the Lite model it’s understandable why I still have significant muzzle rise. Take the compensator off and there is even more muzzle rise, but trade off of less report.

I was not able to get quick target acquisition with the exposed reflex red dot. After zeroing at 45 yards with Federal match auto ammo (1200 fps), I could get a 5” circle at that distance. The faster Browning varmint expanding bullet group predictably opened up across the target.

Thoughts on this gun are I need a LOT more practice, and possibly change to a fiber optic sight or ghost ring if I can’t get myself to like the red dot that’s on it. At least it is inexpensive to get a lot of practice in.

The 17 HMR rifle was a little better. I tested 3 loads and the Federal 17 gr w/ Hornady polymer tip bullets had the best group. 85 yd zero. I do like the flat trajectory and nearly-nonexistent recoil. I am not used to the ergonomic pistol grip, so I had trouble getting a good group on paper. I am confident that with a fair amount of practice I can become proficient with this gun.

The .357 was confusing at first. I would put one round on the paper and then some of the subsequent shots it seemed I was off paper entirely. It turns out I was covering holes! This gun is an absolute tack-driver. The .357 max load had far less recoil than expected, and was also the most accurate of the six loads I sent through it (I shot $200+ of ammo!). It is fun and pleasant to shoot.

85 yard zero and I can hit a silver dollar-sized target more often than not at that distance. I couldn’t believe it. All shots at 85 yards were in an 8” circle, or plenty good for a broadside deer.

 

[Fredrickeder]

Hunt journal for 2023 season I’m going to highlight living with disability/ mental illness. I was recently diagnosed with anxiety/PTSD, and bipolar disorder. I started treatment with medication in December, and I also have talk therapy 1-2 times a week.

I’ve had mood problems since high school, and anxiety showed up a couple years later. Symptoms are intermittent, and only rarely have been debilitating.

This changed on 11/15/22, the final 13-mile leg of packing out my bull elk. Woke at 4 AM, up and back down the mountain, struck camp, then on the road home before sunset.

Unfortunately, only a few hours later I smoked a whitetail on the highway and totaled my truck. This ended up being the last straw on top of many dozens of traumatic events I have lived through my public safety career since 2009.

The last five months have been a nightmare with symptoms. It’s been a roller coaster of two manic highs and two deep depressions. The transition from mania to depression is slow and I do get some nearly symptom-free days during that period, which is a welcome reprieve.

Treatment does help. A lot. I regret waiting so many years to start, though. I have a medication follow up
tomorrow. I’m optimistic about efficacy of treatment long-term, although it can take months or years to find the right medications.

Right now I’m getting my butt kicked by very low energy, low motivation, and leaden fatigue/paralysis. Turkey season is underway, but going hunting is not possible for me at the moment. There are still four more weeks of the season and I really hope I can get well enough to get out there, even for just a few hours. My daughter is ready to tag along now.

My wife has been amazing. She has had to be both mom and dad nearly all the time, for months, plus she’s the full-time caregiver for a family member with Alzheimer’s. On top of that, she’s told me to go hunt when I’m able to. That will be a hard gift for me to accept… My greatest desire is to give her some relief.
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My employer has been supportive of my health. This is huge, as I’d really be in hot water without that support. I’m working on getting some necessary accommodations in place, as well as intermittent FMLA for when I need it.

For the fall, I have enough points to draw WY deer. Doe antelope is a long shot. Last year for me was 100% public land hunting, and it’s shaping up to be the same this year as well.

Hunt while you can, folks. The next season is not promised.

I feel that hunting helps me a lot with my ptsd and bipolar disorder. But finding motivation to do is the hard part for me. You are not alone just keep fighting and looking for help. That was the hardest part for me was to seek help. I’m glad you are.

 

[trackerbacker]

When I was on zoloft, low dose as I was doing therapeutic exercises in addition to, the onboarding led me to wanting to be an unmedicated depressive rather than medicated.

I really had to exhaust my body and mind the first month to get a good night's sleep (4-5 hours initially) while dealing with the side effects. And really had to dig down into myself to get the body and mind moving.

Post dinner I'd do a 2-3 mile ruck around town or hike at some wma on the way home from the office & a minimum of 30 minutes reading before bed and a journal session to recap my day.

Remember, you're re-establishing a good foundation for yourself. Good habits, positive mental state and good tactics to battle through the negative mental states. You're getting used to, slowly, not running WOT in a jeep with death wobble at the receptor level, much like driving a manual; downshift and slow it down gradually as things get aligned and balanced again.

Nice job on the tags, but you'll need another freezer soon! Sorry to dump that one on you!

 

[Pucky Freak]

Homeschool physics!


No one shot their eye out w/ the Red Ryder. First time using a gun

 

[kansasdad]

I find it commendable that you are being self aware and working to find resolution and forgiveness with your family. I would suggest that your physician/s would rather you be an over-reporter rather than under reporting your symptoms.

As you already are aware, switching brain medications is tricky and unpredictable, and should be closely self and professionally managed.

 

[Pucky Freak]

First ever dedicated pistol hunt. PF: 0, stationary rabbits: 3

Always good to get a quick hike in though.

 

[DouglasR]

How do you plan on cooking the squirrels?

 

[Pucky Freak]

How do you plan on cooking the squirrels?

First, salt brine for 48 hours. Then cut into 5 pieces, brown in olive oil, then braise in Worcestershire, sugar, and ground mustard for 2 hours. Remove meat and debone, reduce the sauce to the consistency of BBQ sauce, and add the meat back in. Serve in a tortilla with Greek yogurt.

 

[Jbotto]

First ever dedicated pistol hunt. PF: 0, stationary rabbits: 3

Always good to get a quick hike in though.
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I’m curious now, are you using the GP100 or the .22 pistol since you had much better luck with the GP at the range?

 

[Pucky Freak]

I’m curious now, are you using the GP100 or the .22 pistol since you had much better luck with the GP at the range?

.22 …I’m determined to master this thing.

 

[Jbotto]

.22 …I’m determined to master this thing.

I love it! keep at it. I’m working my way through the crooked handle of a Ruger Single Six.

Though I can confirm the GP100 makes a dandy rabbit gun. Just try and hit them in the head, and when you do, don’t take pictures.

 

[Pucky Freak]

Hands-on force incident first thing this AM, then 2 hrs later got to break up a weapon assault. Too much for me. I got permission to get off work early, and left as soon as all the paperwork was done. First time using FMLA for mental illness. I definitely am not ready to go back tomorrow, and I’m not sure when I will be.

I gave up alcohol earlier this year which is probably a good thing. Got some healthy distractions in instead.


Bacon, egg, cheese, oregano, salt, onion, Serrano, and dryad’s saddle.

 

[Bowmannate2000]

That's stressful man. It's not good when the thought of going to work brings on stress and anxiety. I've been there. Had to make a change. A couple times actually. Glad I did.

 

[Benfromalbuquerque]

Hands-on force incident first thing this AM, then 2 hrs later got to break up a weapon assault. Too much for me. I got permission to get off work early, and left as soon as all the paperwork was done. First time using FMLA for mental illness. I definitely am not ready to go back tomorrow, and I’m not sure when I will be.

I gave up alcohol earlier this year which is probably a good thing. Got some healthy distractions in instead.
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Bacon, egg, cheese, oregano, salt, onion, Serrano, and dryad’s saddle.

When you publish a cook book, I will buy that too, just like I bought Ben Long’s book.

 

[Pucky Freak]

Little forky let me approach close.


Someone trying to be insta-famous. Baiting deer is NOT legal here. Blind was 50 yards off.


I bumped a 130” deer 230 yards from here. Hopefully he’s wary enough not to go in to bait during daylight hours.

 

[BackofBeyond]

Little forky let me approach close.
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Someone trying to be insta-famous. Baiting deer is NOT legal here. Blind was 50 yards off.
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I bumped a 130” deer 230 yards from here. Hopefully he’s wary enough not to go in to bait during daylight hours.

The only time surface shitting is acceptable. Next time drop a deuce directly in the middle of the bait pile. Or on the stand.

 

[Pucky Freak]

Nature therapy to try and get the anxiety down.

 

[Pucky Freak]

Fresh squirrels, CotW, thyme, and garlic butter. I’m stuffed! I’ll have the rest for breakfast.

 

[Pucky Freak]

Started a higher dose of my anxiety medication this AM and today I felt the first noticeable dent in my anxiety since the incidents last Thursday - a very welcome relief. Five days straight of fight or flight mode with a stalled parasympathetic nervous response was brutal.

I also had my first full day back at work today. I was transparent with my coworkers and supervisor about where I was with my mental health, which resulted in me getting reported and disciplined for compromised mental state in a high-risk setting. Essentially, it was determined that I chose to come back too soon.

I spoke at length with my therapist about how to reintegrate to work and her advice was that the longer I stay away, the perceived discomfort of returning will just continue to magnify. She also suggested returning to the physical scene of the trauma in order to cycle the images, sounds, and sensations of the incident out of the continuous loop in my brain.

I buckled down and did just that, and it worked. It was an uncomfortable for about three hours, but then I very slowly started getting the internal 3000 RPM to tic downward.

In the end, I’d still make the same decision to go back again when I did. I was not the least bit interested in waiting a day, a week, a month, or longer hoping that I’d eventually be more ready some indeterminate day in the future.

Navigating this bullshit feels like one of those “choose your own adventure books”, where you hope that “turn to page 77” doesn’t land you in a tar pit or whatever. Except in real life I can’t just flip back and pick page 42 instead.

 

[Pucky Freak]

On a lighter note, my mom asked for a couple of good bushytails for an art project, and 2/2 shots with the 17 HMR brought back a mature gray and a mature fox.


.22 auto pistol practice continues. I’ve paid much closer attention to my arm posture, thumbs, and solid stance that locks in my bones. I also identified that rushing the trigger squeeze and inconsistent follow through were the two biggest factors causing poor shot groups. The trigger is at about 2.5 lbs, and I am strongly considering dropping it down to 2. It seems that a lightweight pistol is much less forgiving of form and shot execution errors compared to a hunky full-sized revolver.

A few more practice sessions with my bow and next week I’ll be out for does.