How to say goodbye...

[2rocky]

Let your daughter be part of the process. At that age kids are amazingly resilient and respond to reason and logic.
Even though they do react emotionally. This is your opportunity to teach your daughter that making that final ownership decision is the responsible thing to do. I find that if kids are part of the process that they actually deal with it better, as they explain why and how the process went. It's not a worst case imagination runaway for them.

I don't like to shield my kids from the realities of Death. I think it sets them up poorly to deal when death of a family member comes along.

 

[corndog1]

One of the toughest decisions is when. because we don't want the dog to suffer but we can't stand the thought of letting them go. One thing that really helped our family around Xmas 2020 was to have the vet come to our house to do it so we could all be there with our beloved Tater.

 

[SO7mm]

We had to put our 14 year old lab down 2 years ago next month. My daughter was 11 and my son was 8. Like your situation I don't think she would have lived nearly as long without the kids being around and my daughter was especially close to her.
I had the same concerns about the kids as you do but they ended up handling it extremely well, maybe better then me. It sucked for all of us like it always does but I'm proud of the way they came through it. My daughter wouldn't let us get a puppy that was born before the old girl died because she read that the soul of the old dog could end up in a new puppy.
We picked up the pup 3 months later which looking back was a good amount of time for us to get past what happened. We still talk about her a lot and remember all the good times while enjoying the new dog.

I took her by myself and stayed with her to the end like I've done the past.

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through but I bet your daughter handles it pretty well.

 

[VikingsGuy]

So sorry to hear. Over time the sadness will be replaced with the fondest of memories. Hang in there.

 

[Tradewind]

what a precious picture. I am sorry for your situation

 

[brymoore]

My last dog death really tore my family up. We all walked around crying for a week. The only thing that helped me was I had a deposit on a pup. Breeder let me come over and play with the litter for an hour one day to start making my decision. Best therapy I could find for a broken heart.

 

[TrumpkinTheDwarf]

Aww man... I don't know what to say to help you, except I definitely shed a few tears reading this. I've yet to go through that as an adult. I'm over here thinking about my buddy Gus. He's hopefully a long ways away from that day, but still...

So sorry for you and your family.

 

[Phaseolus]

I’ve been avoiding this thread knowing that it would bring tears to my eyes. I’m wishing you, your Daughter and Family all the best. It’s tough.

 

[Hatchie Dawg]

You've got some good advice here. Be there with her and let your heart lead you. Precious few things in this world better than a good lab.

 

[hank4elk]

Damn.

 

[Gr8bawana]

When we had to say goodbye to our Tipper last year my wife and I sat on the floor with him and I was hugging him as he slipped away. It has to be a small comfort for them to see your face as they drift off to sleep.
I feel your pain sadness.

 

[bucdoego]

This day always comes to soon. You and your family have been blessed to have her share her life with you.

 

[Nameless Range]

I am very sorry. Few things are harder.

My wife made this the day before we put our last dog down. I was too emotional to be involved, though I am glad she did it.



I buried her in our field and the idea was it would be a part of her grave. I then came to think that weather and time would erode it so much that I wouldn't be able to connect to it, and so it sits on my back porch with me and I drink beer with it on summer evenings. Take pictures of your dog, or print some of the favorites you have and frame them and have them in your home. The picture in the OP is beautiful. For me, memorializing her hurts but it helps. Religious beliefs are variable and to each their own, but I told my children, who were 9, 5, and 2 at the time, that their dog was in heaven, and I think that helped them.

I don't know what the answer is. Logistically, whether you are putting your dog down at home or at the vet, I would not have your daughter present. In fact, if you live close to family, I would send your daughter off while you do the deed and while you pull yourself together afterward. I don't understand why the grief of a dog lost is so great, but I feel it now.

Love your dog and daughter as much as you can while you can. Nothing in this universe is finer or more powerful.

 

[LukeDuke]

Man I feel for you guys. My daughter was the same age as yours when we went through this. We had to do it within 12 hrs as our dog was hit by a car, so the vet loaded him up with some pain meds so the kids could say goodbye. My daughter took it really hard as the dog was her best buddy ever since she was born.

We had a family vacation right after it happened and had a deposit on a pup soon after. The distractions and excitement helped a little. She will still break down and cry some nights when she thinks about him and we just show her some pics and remind her that she has a new dog to love and care for. This summer will be two yrs…Ugggh. Still choke up thinking about it.

 

[dgc1963]

I hate to read these posts brings tears to my eyes we lost our Charlie a yr ago he was 14 a choc lab he was my 4th
their are soo many best days of having a dog, out in the field or down at the creek up on a mtn or just on the floor with them in your lap but their is only 1 worst day its when you have to say good bye and never easy I think they should be with you when they go a last good girl or boy last pat on head or scratch of ear
I told Tam no more dogs after Charlie I always had labs she always had Shih Tzu dog well we have 10 lbs of fuzz and he helped with the loss and is a joy in the house give it some time but a puppy helps not to replace but they help
I believe one day when your at the pearly gates your will get a nuzzle on your hand and she will be their

 

[AlleghenyElk]

I’m so sorry for your families loss. I had to put my lab down a couple years ago. My oldest boy was about the same age as your daughter. I think at that age they definitely need to know they’re not the only one grieving the loss. My boy and I had a very emotional but good talk after we buried her in the back yard. Told him whenever he was ready we’d go and start looking for another puppy. Took him a few months but now we have another best friend bouncing around the yard watching over my 3 kids everywhere they go! Time will heal all.

 

[Elkoholic]

I hate when these threads pop up, so many of us dog lovers have to deal with this at some point, and it sucks. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Been through it to many times, and after my last one 11yrs ago I said no more!
6mths later that changed, I'm dreading the day is coming as my current best friend is getting up there in age.
Love on them every day the same way they love you!

 

[davinski]

Sorry, man. Go with your gut at every decision point. You know your family best. IMHO sheltering kids from the pain of death does them a disservice. Tasting that pain helps one understand that life is truly meant to be lived well and the good times cherished since you never know when it can end in a blink. We have an outfit in our town that does it at home, then takes them away for cremation. You get an urn and a pawprint, more stuff if you're so inclined. Some of the best money I've spent in my entire life. Our Kona took her last breath outside and I ask my family to do the same for me, someday, if possible. If there's a way to wheel my old ass outside when they pull the plug, I'd like them to do it.

 

[Mallardsx2]

Just lost our 5 month old black lab female 2 weeks ago in a tragic accident at our house. This post really hits home. I’m glad you had 13 good years.

All labs go to heaven.

 

[Gerald Martin]

Sounds like you are getting some great advice. If I can add anything it would be to share your grief and sense of loss with your daughter. Let her comfort you as well as you comforting her. I think to many times we wall ourselves off from our children when we face grief in order to shield them from something painful. I think that tends to reinforce feelings that no one knows what they’re going through and aloneness when they face grief at an older age. If they know you cry and grieve with them during this shared experience it will make future heartache more navigable. One great thing about children is they have a hopefulness to their outlook that generally lets them look forward to good things to come after the pain passes.