NullPointerException
New member
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2019
- Messages
- 29
All,
Before I begin, I'm not looking to assign blame to anyone or anything. I'm not looking for solutions. I just need a place where I can let this out because it's been eating at me since Thursday night. I literally can't sleep and this has been all I think about. I've talked to a few bowhunters I know and they all had strong opinions on things that could have been done differently and it's been a good learning lesson. Also, I'm not sure if this is the correct forum for this, but I feel like I just need to vent somewhere.
A bit of background... this was my first hunt. I wasn't brought up hunting, but I've always loved the outdoors and I'm a consumer of meat. As a result, it was a natural progression for me to pick up a bow because I wanted to challenge myself. I shot so much in the offseason I needed a second set of strings in July. I was hard on myself at the 3D range because I knew a poorly placed shot meant the animal had to suffer unnecessarily. I got to the point where I could repeatedly hit a 3'' circle at 50. 3D elk targets at 60 were nothing. I practiced on an antelope target at 50-55 regularly. I shot my broadheads out to 50 yards and they flew as good (maybe even better) than my field points. I'm not trying to brag, but I put in a ton of time on my shooting and I felt really good and proud of myself going into the hunt.
Now, onto the story... I got an antelope on opening day with my bow. That's the good news. The bad news is that I had to watch an animal suffer in the process. This was a guided hunt, since I figured for my first hunt I should focus on shooting mechanics and I could use all the help I could get on the other aspects of hunting.
The hunt started pretty slow, but around noon I had a monster come into bow range (I was hunting from a blind). He stopped at 30, and I wiffed the shot. I'm no expert, but this guy looked bigger than any mount I've ever seen at Cabela's. Luckily it was a clean miss. The arrow was clean and the antelope looked at the blind like he was wondering what the hell just happened. He stood there at 60, but after missing at 30, there was no way in hell I was going to nock another arrow. I blame the miss on jitters. He had bedded down previously at 120 yards and just laid there for what felt like forever. None of my practice at the range could have prepared me for the absolute rush of having an animal that large come within bow range.
A few hours passed and I had another nice buck (smaller than the first) come within 40 yards. I had to lean aggressively in my blind chair to get an angle. That said, I steadied my sights and let an arrow fly. What I failed to check was that my new shooting position created a ton of interference with the blind. I heard a loud TWACK as something hit part of the blind. The arrow missed cleanly once again.
At this point, all the confidence I built up in myself in the offseason was gone. I texted the guide (he was looking for spot and stalk opportunities while I was in the blind) and told him I wanted to call it a day and maybe hit the range to figure out what I was doing. Mentally I was all over the place. If you ever want a good therapy session, sit in a blind alone for an hour after two misses. It will clear your head up really quick. Both of my misses were shots that I had hit without any issue hundreds of times at the range. Once the target has hair on it, it seems like everything changes.
The guide showed up at the blind with a target that I nailed at 30. Confidence was coming back and he also mentioned a spot and stalk opportunity. There was a group of young bucks bedded down just over the ridge. I had seen them previously, but they didn't want to come in and drink. One buck in particular looked nice. He had tall horns, but not alot of mass or spread. Still, for me, he was definitely a shooter. They were also not afraid of the truck (this is an active cattle ranch) so we were going to use that to our advantage to close the gap.
We close the gap to about 50, but the wind is howling so I let down. We let them walk off and bed down again. On the second stalk, we get to close to 50ish. I get told to put my 50 pin halfway up the lead animal (biggest of the group). I release the arrow and it felt like a perfect shot. Both the guide and an additional spotter say that the shot looked really good and he should die soon. But he doesn't. He runs about 150 yards and beds down. We recover my arrow and find that there's bright pink blood on it with bubbles. It looks like I got at least a single lung. Shot placement looked like the entry was at the bottom of the ten ring on a 3D target. Exit was a bit lower (elbow height) and further up the animal (he was slightly quartered away). I learned after the shot he was at 58 yards, which is on the edge of my comfort zone. If the yardage had been called out, I would have probably let down, or at least aimed higher knowing my bow. The bottom pin on my slider is 50 yards, and the top of my bubble is roughly 62ish, so if I had to shoot 58, I would have aimed probably 3/4ths the way up the animal. I'm not saying the shot placement was bad, but it could have been an inch or two higher.
With the antelope bedded down, we decide to give him some time. We go to clean up the blind and come back to him about 20-30 minutes later. His head is still up and he's somewhat alert. Not good. I had several people (including the guide) tell me that antelope are frail and should go down easy, but here this guy is still alive.
Here's where things went south fast. Both the guide and the spotter agree that we should try to get a second arrow in him ASAP since he's still alive. The rationale was that there are lots of coyotes in the area and the sun was going down in about 2.5 hours.
So we start bumping the antelope trying to stalk him. He's on full alert and even the slightest movement means he trots away and beds down again. After an hour of this game, I get another shot at him at about 50 yards. The guide tells me to draw and shoot at a very extreme quartering away angle. I hit him in the butt and the arrow rips through him lengthwise. His guts fall out. I won't claim to have the strongest stomach, but that sight will stick with me for a few years and might require some professional help and/or a bottle of bourbon every once in a while. I was shook by the sight, but the guide wanted to finish him off then and there. I missed another shot at about 40. At 30, I spined him. At 20, I hit him in the head. I'm so flustered my hands are shaking. I'm out of arrows at this point so the guide retrieves one from a previous miss. I have time to settle down and finally put another arrow in him. It's a double lung at 20 which finally ends him.
Total time for this SNAFU was about 2-2.5 hours of trying to finish him off. A few people I talked to said that if we had let him just lie in his original bed, we would have been dead there in that time, but the adrenaline of being bumped probably kept him alive for longer and might have impacted the flavor of the meat.
On field dressing it looks like my initial shot was a double lung that narrowly missed the heart (hit the lower part of both lungs). Guide mentions I should shoot a large mechanical head like a Rage instead of my fixed blade that has a smaller cut.
Overall, I'm not happy or proud of what I did. I have no sense of accomplishment even though I shot a "nice" buck. I keep replaying everything I did and I literally can't take my mind off of everything that happened after the initial shot. I'm upset that I lost meat due to the gut shot. I hope what I get back from the processor doesn't smell/taste like shit (I've already been told the tenderloins will need to be tossed). I'm less upset that my headshot ruined a chance for a euro mount. I could have maybe done a full shoulder mount, but I already had the processor skin the antelope since they had to clean the shit (literally shit) out of the body cavity ASAP and I wasn't thinking straight at the time. I can't even look at the pictures the guide took without feeling like I want to throw my bow in the trash. All I see is the additional entry and exit holes I had to put into him. I feel like I disrespected the animal. I'm not even sure I'll get the antlers mounted on a plaque because this isn't an experience I want to remember. I have alot of feelings of regret, anger, and disappointment. I can't even look at my bow case without feeling sick to my stomach. I can't think of another time I felt so low about something I did and had control over.
The thing I'm most upset about is that I feel like this was supposed to be an experience I could cherish and remember for years to come. This was my first animal, and I did it with a bow. Instead, I'm going to be sick every time I think about it. I feel robbed. I keep looking at the placement of the initial shot and convincing myself over and over again it was good and the antelope should have died right then and there. I watched so many videos on the internet of worse placed shots where an animal crumbles up instantly.
I'm on the fence of what to do next and how to move forward. I feel like I learned a lot of lessons the hard way and deer season is around the corner. I have a deer tag that I drew as a second choice (this is DIY hunt in a not very desirable unit), but I'm thinking about turning it in for a refund (the $40 could buy a nice bottle of bourbon to help me sleep) and trying again next year. I'm also debating putting down the bow and maybe trying rifle or muzzleloader hunting.
Sorry for the long post and the rant, but I don't have anyone to talk to about this except for a few guys at the range I hang out at. Like I mentioned at the start, I'm not looking to place blame on anything/anyone or for any solutions, I feel like I just needed to vent.
Before I begin, I'm not looking to assign blame to anyone or anything. I'm not looking for solutions. I just need a place where I can let this out because it's been eating at me since Thursday night. I literally can't sleep and this has been all I think about. I've talked to a few bowhunters I know and they all had strong opinions on things that could have been done differently and it's been a good learning lesson. Also, I'm not sure if this is the correct forum for this, but I feel like I just need to vent somewhere.
A bit of background... this was my first hunt. I wasn't brought up hunting, but I've always loved the outdoors and I'm a consumer of meat. As a result, it was a natural progression for me to pick up a bow because I wanted to challenge myself. I shot so much in the offseason I needed a second set of strings in July. I was hard on myself at the 3D range because I knew a poorly placed shot meant the animal had to suffer unnecessarily. I got to the point where I could repeatedly hit a 3'' circle at 50. 3D elk targets at 60 were nothing. I practiced on an antelope target at 50-55 regularly. I shot my broadheads out to 50 yards and they flew as good (maybe even better) than my field points. I'm not trying to brag, but I put in a ton of time on my shooting and I felt really good and proud of myself going into the hunt.
Now, onto the story... I got an antelope on opening day with my bow. That's the good news. The bad news is that I had to watch an animal suffer in the process. This was a guided hunt, since I figured for my first hunt I should focus on shooting mechanics and I could use all the help I could get on the other aspects of hunting.
The hunt started pretty slow, but around noon I had a monster come into bow range (I was hunting from a blind). He stopped at 30, and I wiffed the shot. I'm no expert, but this guy looked bigger than any mount I've ever seen at Cabela's. Luckily it was a clean miss. The arrow was clean and the antelope looked at the blind like he was wondering what the hell just happened. He stood there at 60, but after missing at 30, there was no way in hell I was going to nock another arrow. I blame the miss on jitters. He had bedded down previously at 120 yards and just laid there for what felt like forever. None of my practice at the range could have prepared me for the absolute rush of having an animal that large come within bow range.
A few hours passed and I had another nice buck (smaller than the first) come within 40 yards. I had to lean aggressively in my blind chair to get an angle. That said, I steadied my sights and let an arrow fly. What I failed to check was that my new shooting position created a ton of interference with the blind. I heard a loud TWACK as something hit part of the blind. The arrow missed cleanly once again.
At this point, all the confidence I built up in myself in the offseason was gone. I texted the guide (he was looking for spot and stalk opportunities while I was in the blind) and told him I wanted to call it a day and maybe hit the range to figure out what I was doing. Mentally I was all over the place. If you ever want a good therapy session, sit in a blind alone for an hour after two misses. It will clear your head up really quick. Both of my misses were shots that I had hit without any issue hundreds of times at the range. Once the target has hair on it, it seems like everything changes.
The guide showed up at the blind with a target that I nailed at 30. Confidence was coming back and he also mentioned a spot and stalk opportunity. There was a group of young bucks bedded down just over the ridge. I had seen them previously, but they didn't want to come in and drink. One buck in particular looked nice. He had tall horns, but not alot of mass or spread. Still, for me, he was definitely a shooter. They were also not afraid of the truck (this is an active cattle ranch) so we were going to use that to our advantage to close the gap.
We close the gap to about 50, but the wind is howling so I let down. We let them walk off and bed down again. On the second stalk, we get to close to 50ish. I get told to put my 50 pin halfway up the lead animal (biggest of the group). I release the arrow and it felt like a perfect shot. Both the guide and an additional spotter say that the shot looked really good and he should die soon. But he doesn't. He runs about 150 yards and beds down. We recover my arrow and find that there's bright pink blood on it with bubbles. It looks like I got at least a single lung. Shot placement looked like the entry was at the bottom of the ten ring on a 3D target. Exit was a bit lower (elbow height) and further up the animal (he was slightly quartered away). I learned after the shot he was at 58 yards, which is on the edge of my comfort zone. If the yardage had been called out, I would have probably let down, or at least aimed higher knowing my bow. The bottom pin on my slider is 50 yards, and the top of my bubble is roughly 62ish, so if I had to shoot 58, I would have aimed probably 3/4ths the way up the animal. I'm not saying the shot placement was bad, but it could have been an inch or two higher.
With the antelope bedded down, we decide to give him some time. We go to clean up the blind and come back to him about 20-30 minutes later. His head is still up and he's somewhat alert. Not good. I had several people (including the guide) tell me that antelope are frail and should go down easy, but here this guy is still alive.
Here's where things went south fast. Both the guide and the spotter agree that we should try to get a second arrow in him ASAP since he's still alive. The rationale was that there are lots of coyotes in the area and the sun was going down in about 2.5 hours.
So we start bumping the antelope trying to stalk him. He's on full alert and even the slightest movement means he trots away and beds down again. After an hour of this game, I get another shot at him at about 50 yards. The guide tells me to draw and shoot at a very extreme quartering away angle. I hit him in the butt and the arrow rips through him lengthwise. His guts fall out. I won't claim to have the strongest stomach, but that sight will stick with me for a few years and might require some professional help and/or a bottle of bourbon every once in a while. I was shook by the sight, but the guide wanted to finish him off then and there. I missed another shot at about 40. At 30, I spined him. At 20, I hit him in the head. I'm so flustered my hands are shaking. I'm out of arrows at this point so the guide retrieves one from a previous miss. I have time to settle down and finally put another arrow in him. It's a double lung at 20 which finally ends him.
Total time for this SNAFU was about 2-2.5 hours of trying to finish him off. A few people I talked to said that if we had let him just lie in his original bed, we would have been dead there in that time, but the adrenaline of being bumped probably kept him alive for longer and might have impacted the flavor of the meat.
On field dressing it looks like my initial shot was a double lung that narrowly missed the heart (hit the lower part of both lungs). Guide mentions I should shoot a large mechanical head like a Rage instead of my fixed blade that has a smaller cut.
Overall, I'm not happy or proud of what I did. I have no sense of accomplishment even though I shot a "nice" buck. I keep replaying everything I did and I literally can't take my mind off of everything that happened after the initial shot. I'm upset that I lost meat due to the gut shot. I hope what I get back from the processor doesn't smell/taste like shit (I've already been told the tenderloins will need to be tossed). I'm less upset that my headshot ruined a chance for a euro mount. I could have maybe done a full shoulder mount, but I already had the processor skin the antelope since they had to clean the shit (literally shit) out of the body cavity ASAP and I wasn't thinking straight at the time. I can't even look at the pictures the guide took without feeling like I want to throw my bow in the trash. All I see is the additional entry and exit holes I had to put into him. I feel like I disrespected the animal. I'm not even sure I'll get the antlers mounted on a plaque because this isn't an experience I want to remember. I have alot of feelings of regret, anger, and disappointment. I can't even look at my bow case without feeling sick to my stomach. I can't think of another time I felt so low about something I did and had control over.
The thing I'm most upset about is that I feel like this was supposed to be an experience I could cherish and remember for years to come. This was my first animal, and I did it with a bow. Instead, I'm going to be sick every time I think about it. I feel robbed. I keep looking at the placement of the initial shot and convincing myself over and over again it was good and the antelope should have died right then and there. I watched so many videos on the internet of worse placed shots where an animal crumbles up instantly.
I'm on the fence of what to do next and how to move forward. I feel like I learned a lot of lessons the hard way and deer season is around the corner. I have a deer tag that I drew as a second choice (this is DIY hunt in a not very desirable unit), but I'm thinking about turning it in for a refund (the $40 could buy a nice bottle of bourbon to help me sleep) and trying again next year. I'm also debating putting down the bow and maybe trying rifle or muzzleloader hunting.
Sorry for the long post and the rant, but I don't have anyone to talk to about this except for a few guys at the range I hang out at. Like I mentioned at the start, I'm not looking to place blame on anything/anyone or for any solutions, I feel like I just needed to vent.
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