Feel guilt for going hunting?

[genesis273]

I've commented once on here already, but wanted to add this.
My kids are grown so that's not a big deal anymore. My wife is supportive as they get, but one thing that does help me feel better and also has her looking forward to something is that she takes trips something's without me. Her time away. She's also worked hard all of these years and raised two kids. This coming Oct, she's going to Israel with some folks at church. I promise you, she's not going to feel guilty!
We're taking a few trips in the next few months together (Niagara Falls, NY City, Washington DC, San Fransisco, skiing in WV), but that's nothing like her getting away from me and the kids.

Point is, talk your wife into going somewhere once a year and watch the kids for her. She deserves the time away as much as we do, and it helps ease the guilty feeling! So this year if I draw a WY antelope tag...see ya!

 

[Bokeh]

HIndsight is 20/20. Yeah, there were some guilty feelings on the rare occasion that I left my family for a trip. But, as my kids grew I took them along as much as possible for short outings and then longer trips and eventually backpacking. As my two boys grew up we spent a lot of time together. Now they both live in MT and their passion is the same as mine. I now take 2-3 trips a year to spend fishing and hunting with them. Nothing better than a week on the river or in the mountains with your sons. What I am saying is that sometimes is comes around - full circle. And that is certainly guilt free!

 

[Deleted member 16014]

Like most things, good two way communication goes a long way. Plan ahead, let your family know what your schedule might look like, compromise where necessary.

 

[LCH]

I don't ever feel guilty, but I do feel like I spoil myself, and try to make up for it by giving concessions in other areas. Sometimes you just have to break down and buy the old lady a new refrigerator, vacation, or whatever keeps her happy.

 

[HSi-ESi]

I very much have a guilt when leaving for a trip - but that's more of being raised Catholic. My wife is totally supportive of hunting (loves the meat, raising kids in the "lifestlye", etc). My biggest pains are that I am missing my family. But I also realize that I am a much better father when I get time in the woods.

This year I structured hunts more along the lines of the family. 2 years ago I got back into bowhunting so that I would have more opportunities (and I love shooting the bow all year). But a big part was that I could go down with the kids and start introducing them in a very controlled environment. So from September through yesterday (I still have 3 days on some whitetail doe archery tags) - we spent about 3 weekends a month down at my in-laws. The kids can go out with me if they want to (and do alot). My now 5 y/o daughter was involved on her first deer hunt in September (and was blowing on a cow-call for me). She saw her first deer shot live - and then taken through the whole process of gutting / skinning / cutting / wrapping.

I did do 2 backpack hunts - but limited time (3 days per trip). One archery elk and one rifle elk.

The wife has a blank check to do whatever she wants (trip, week / weekend away - whatever, whenever).

The main part of my post is that both my wife and I knew going into our marriage what we wanted our lifestyle choices to be - and we're structured around that. The longer trips are harder for me - but I also know that I'll soon be doing longer trips with the kids.

 

[Gellar]

I feel guilty right now, I am in Arizona Quail hunting and its 65 degrees. It was -9 at our house in Iowa this morning.

 

[kmf]

Great posts by all. I take the kids and wife hunting quite often at home and out west. You can always take your wife with once in a while and find some hot springs and spend a day in town on the way. We also take a cheap vacation to Mexico every other year with no kids. That helps a lot. Money is always tight but Randy already won that argument. Our 4 kids all have nice archery set ups so shooting now gets to be a fun family activity. When I took our them 3 year old to an archery shop to get set up with a Diamond Atomic bow and release etc. it was about $300 and you should have seen everyone's reaction. Well that kid shoots bow like crazy still and it sure beats video games. Overall we just try to balance it all out and keep hunting and being good parents.

 

[Jwill]

With hunting season nearly over, my wife bought beef from the store. Talk about feeling guilty, nobody should have to eat that crap...

 

[BuzzH]

My wife should feel guilty shooting 3 B&C buck pronghorn, while I never have.

 

[Zach]

Copper, I understand where you're coming from. This year I gave up my deer and elk hunts. I had been on the road for work a lot and the last thing I could do was leave again for a hunt. I try to even things out and have my wife do some short trips for herself. I also do things with each of my kids 1 on 1. I also currently pretty much keep my hunts to in state. You're in kind of a dilemma though if you want to hunt west.

I feel bad for those who worry about saving more than living. Obviously you have to live within your means and responsibly, and yes have some type of savings set up but what good is that going to do when you are in an accident or diagnosed with terminal cancer. Could be tomorrow..if you are so worried about leaving your family with money buy some life insurance and call it a day. I'm not a parent but I find it ridiculous that parents want to pay for their kids college. Any idea what tuition is gonna cost you 15 years from now? You raised the child for 18 years of your prime life paying for everything for them and then you want to take on additional 50k/ per kid? How about your kids become driven and work through college and pay their own tuition so they have their own skin in the game not mom and dads. If they skip class and fail, they pay for it. You're done, you did your job. That should be a time when you and your wife start to live your dreams. Not trying to be an a$$ but seriously guys live your life. If you spend 355 days a year 150% devoted to your family and providing for them, and they have a problem with you going and refueling your soul in nature for 10 days, that's just reallllly messed up and I feel sorry for you. Your kids have their whole life to make money and create their own life. Live yours before you are physically unable to do so and are slowly wasting away. Get out and hunt, you've earned it!

Not being an ass either, but giving advice from which you have no perspective is pretty useless.
If you don't have kids, you have ZERO idea how to parent them.
I am paying for the portion of my daughters college that isn't covered by her scholarship. Why? You would never understand that until you have children of your own.

For me, family will Always take a priority over any hobby I have. In fact I'll be selling my motorcycle soon because it creates fear and anxiety for my wife.

 

[ShootsManyBullets]

I miss the kids when I'm gone, but the boys will be going with me in a few years when they get bigger. My oldest learned to wipe his butt so he could go antelope hunting with me which got me some brownie points too.

My wife gets irritated managing the kids while I'm gone but she's realized it will be pretty nice when they're both going with me in a few years.

Hunting trips usually end up costing me a new purse or handbag of some sort for her by the end of the season. My view on her purses is the same as her view of my guns - They all look the same.

 

[BlakeA]

Not being an ass either, but giving advice from which you have no perspective is pretty useless.
If you don't have kids, you have ZERO idea how to parent them.
I am paying for the portion of my daughters college that isn't covered by her scholarship. Why? You would never understand that until you have children of your own.

For me, family will Always take a priority over any hobby I have. In fact I'll be selling my motorcycle soon because it creates fear and anxiety for my wife.

Zach,
You are right, I have ZERO idea how to parent... and because the fact that I haven't wanted to get married or have children at my young age, makes my opinion/advice useless. Good for you for paying for your daughter's college, that's really great of you. I apologize to those who thought I was preaching on how to parent as that was not my intent. I've just seen first hand my generation take advantage of their parents financially through college. It is something I personally strongly disagree with but it is the parents who created it. Especially for what the cost of college is right now and will be in the future. There is zero responsibility anymore and if something goes bad mom and dad will fix it and pay for it. Kids have their entire life to pay off their own loans. My point was to LIVE for yourself once in a while too. Ten days a year in the wild should not be an issue and if it is then I feel bad for you.

 

[streamer]

I agree with Canoe Country you only live once make the best of it, you don't know when it will be your day to cash out. My cousin just died a week ago at 55 and he wasn't done hunting yet. Butter up your wife and kids before and after you get home, it will all work out. Enjoy your trips and savor the memories.

 

[noharleyyet]

I'll be selling my motorcycle soon because it creates fear and anxiety for my wife.

....whynot keep the bike keys in her purse, next to your testicles.

 

[MN Public Hunter]

I don't feel guilty, but I do feel it's sad I have to pay that much money to hunt certain animals and have a real hard time choking down the cost, but if you want to hunt them, you pay.

With my age( I'm not THAT old, 48) and the way the economy is these days it's hard to justify $2000+ to do these hunts, it's slowly becoming a rich persons pass time is how I see it. You can do a lot of family things with $2000 and before I ever hunted out west other than family hunts in ND, I spent all my money on family trips as I felt that was a much better way to spend family money, as in trips to different states and countries to educate my children with museums and such.

One kid is grown and has a good job and one still in college so being an empty nester, I also have a had time not taking that $2000 and going on trips with my wife instead.

As long as you feel you are not taking away from the family, enjoy your trips.

 

[Zach]

....whynot keep the bike keys in her purse, next to your testicles.

Good thing you put the smiley, or I might have been offended...

 

[dcopas78]

My wife is extremely supportive. Since I am relatively new to western hunting, I have had to completely outfit myself for mountain hunting. The clothing, pack, sleeping bag, tipi/tent, and other items will have cost me several hundreds(thousands actually) to acquire. I am getting good equipment and I plan on using it every year to hunt somewhere out west. Our hunting in Ohio pretty much sucks anymore because of leasing. She knows that the most important thing to me, other than her and my son, is spending time with my dad. He will be 70 this spring, and fortunately he is in great health. She wouldn't do anything to deprive me of my time in the field with him. She is fine with it, as long as she gets her week, and a couple 4-day weekend trips to Tennessee or Lake Erie. Plus she hunts with me every time she gets a chance and has already bagged a few deer! It's pretty awesome when your wife pitches the clothing catalogs but asks you for a shotgun for her birthday so she can bust a turkey! Plus she's smart too, she is a math/science teacher....I really have it made

 

[dustinf]

No guilt at all.

She knows my travelling is the only thing that keeps me sane.

 

[WRO]

I have 2 little girls at home and another on the way, I balance it by making my family time good and making the most of my opportunities. I hunt and scout about 30 days a year and fish another 30 or so. I am usually gone about 25 nights a year in the woods.

I get my family involved, my girls fish with me and I make it a point to get my wife on one good hunt a year.. Not too bad for a pregnant lady.

 

[WIbiggame]

I don't feel guilty going hunting. It is a constant give and take for the both of us. My wife was not brought up around hunting at all and doesn't get how I "need" to hunt all the time. I try and go on one western hunt a fall, one ice fishing trip, one summer fishing trip, and take 3wks vacation in November to whitetail hunt at my farm.

To balance it out I have done what it take to spend as much time with her when I am not hunting as possible. We go on a vacation or 2 together throughout the year where hunting is not talked about. We dont have kids yet but I am sure when that does happen things will change so I am trying to get as much done now.

My wife sees how much this time means to me and when she doesnt I just tell her fine I wont hunt or fish at all this year but all that time and money is going into me sitting on a bar stool every night. always seems to clear it up