Estate Planning

[Deleted member 52098]

Ok, this is a super uncomfortable exercise for me, in that Im asking for help. This despite the ridiculousness of my season with dsnow9 and all the help I ended up needing.

A young and very healthy friend of ours passed away today and it was very eye opening. One, because he passed at such a young age AND two, because Jenny and I have yet to set up anything. This even though we are both having surgery, including one major surgery this year.

What I am hoping for is advice on what we should ask our estate / trust attorney in order to set each other and our daughter (worst case scenario) up for the easiest process. In addition to potential life insurance we have a couple of fully paid for properties and want to reduce as much red tape as possible.

Any advice would be more than appreciated

 

[mxracer317]

Ok, this is a super uncomfortable exercise for me, in that Im asking for help. This despite the ridiculousness of my season with dsnow9 and all the help I ended up needing.

A young and very healthy friend of ours passed away today and it was very eye opening. One, because he passed at such a young age AND two, because Jenny and I have yet to set up anything. This even though we are both having surgery, including one major surgery this year.

What I am hoping for is advice on what we should ask our estate / trust attorney in order to set each other and our daughter (worst case scenario) up for the easiest process. In addition to potential life insurance we have a couple of fully paid for properties and want to reduce as much red tape as possible.

Any advice would be more than appreciated

Sorry for your loss of a friend.

A good estate attorney is worth their weight in gold, but just make sure that the estate is properly funded. Too many people will pay to have a plan done, and never have it executed by moving assets to where they need to.

Definitely, life insurance is a must if you have a need for legacy planning. Some term insurance combined with over funding an index universal life policy is what I do personally for a portion of my portfolio.

The key is to reduce the death benefit as little as possible, so you can put as much contribution in that’s tax-free, while reducing commissions and insurance costs.

With life insurance, reducing fees and loan provisions are of Paramount importance. If you minimize the death benefit on the permanent policy and go with a carrier that has very low, to no loan provisions, it can work spectacular if done properly.

I would suggest that you have a medical and financial power of attorney drafted up at the same time when talking with them.

Not sure what your financial situation is like, but you might want to talk to them about asset protection at the same time. Each state has different rules.

I also have younger kids, and heaven forbid something happened to both my wife and I at the same time we have it clearly spelt out where the kids would go live as minors. We even have a back up contingency if that person were to pass away or something were to happen, etc.

I deal with this all the time, as it’s my career. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you have any questions that are more specific or private nature and I’m happy to assist.

 

[kansasdad]

Along with a discussion about medical power of attorney, I would include end of life discussion (DNR, no extraordinary measure or hold on to the end) and funeral/burial
desires (cremation v burial, and where to place the remains).

 

[Hunt4Meat]

Some things are simple that get overlooked, is your checking and savings, 401k, etc.. have a beneficiary? Some states allow beneficiaries on the mortgage deed. The more that goes straight to them, less probate in most cases. As well as trust, some states (social security ) require 5 year period in trust before they won’t look back. Also, if you go trust route, you must have a will also to divert all other matters to the trust, found that out on my parents and it was a nightmare with no will and me living out of state. The insurance wanted court appointed person of the estate. Will would of done that.

 

[Brittany Chukarman]

A revocable living trust that can be amended worked for my parents. But, no disputes = no problems.

 

[mevertsen]

We don't have a trust. But we have wills, power of attorney, medical power of attorney and advance directives.

I have major medical issues. We have the advance directives on file at the local hospital. You make the decision now so your spouse doesn't have to.

Term life on my wife until our youngest is about 18. By then we'll have enough money to cover funeral expenses if needed.

I have a whole life because that's all I can get.

My retirement income is fully transferable to her.

Go talk to an estate attorney. It should literally be a standard form for them (do it I their sleep) and cost a couple grand or a bit more. Mo ey well spent.

 

[Gellar]

I need to find someone to wipe my web browser clean!

But in all seriousness, my wife and I are in the same boat. We have life insurance and an idea of what we’d like done but nothing written down. It’s a very awkward conversation but one that needs to take place.

 

[mxracer317]

I need to find someone to wipe my web browser clean!

But in all seriousness, my wife and I are in the same boat. We have life insurance and an idea of what we’d like done but nothing written down. It’s a very awkward conversation but one that needs to take place.

Easier when you’re all living. I’ve seen families torn apart because someone felt they were supposed to get mom’s wedding ring or dad’s shotgun passed down from grandpa. Sad, but true.

 

[grizzly_]

My wife and I did ours when we were still in our early 30s and didn't have kids yet. Our attorney had a bunch of questions for us and then pretty much just plugged in our answers to docs for Trust, Will, Medical Directives, etc... referencing yet-unborn children.

For example, it was written that our then-unborn children would get our estate proceeds at age 25, but we've since amended that some now that we have a daughter.

I don't know many 25 year olds that are mature enough to get their entire inheritance, so we put some other creative language in there. Our attorney was good to make those changes and get them notarized and in our file.

Every few years I give the attorney an updated envelope of where our assets can be found. Otherwise I don't know that our families would even know where to find our retirements, bank accounts, insurance policies, etc...

I just want to make it as easy as possible on everybody if disaster were to strike, and I really don't want my daughter's inheritance going to some Unclaimed Property account with the State.

 

[Addicting]

My wife and I did ours when we were still in our early 30s and didn't have kids yet. Our attorney had a bunch of questions for us and then pretty much just plugged in our answers to docs for Trust, Will, Medical Directives, etc... referencing yet-unborn children.

For example, it was written that our then-unborn children would get our estate proceeds at age 25, but we've since amended that some now that we have a daughter.

I don't know many 25 year olds that are mature enough to get their entire inheritance, so we put some other creative language in there. Our attorney was good to make those changes and get them notarized and in our file.

Every few years I give the attorney an updated envelope of where our assets can be found. Otherwise I don't know that our families would even know where to find our retirements, bank accounts, insurance policies, etc...

I just want to make it as easy as possible on everybody if disaster were to strike, and I really don't want my daughter's inheritance going to some Unclaimed Property account with the State.

In that envelope leave a message for them as well. My dad did what you are doing. He was our leader and mentor. We all wished there would of been a note telling us it will be ok. He spent all that time making it easier legally but no time spent on the emotional side.

 

[WapitiBob]

Get a trust, kids/relatives go sideways when they see $$. I've seen it 1st hand. And be damned sure of your trust executor.

 

[BackofBeyond]

I don’t necessarily know what you should do, but I’d have no issues telling you what we did and have done - just not on a public forum.

 

[Dakotakid]

Took us three years of putting off the issue even though we had everything drafted up. We signed the docs last Friday. It is not an expensive process to have an attorney draw up all of the docs.

 

[JoMo]

Man, this is a sensitive and personal topic for me. When my dad passed, I was only 26 and it was an absolute sh*tshow. Not that there was much to be left, but apparently he opted that taxes weren’t for him the last many years of his life. Little did I know that Uncle Sam still finds a way to collect, and it was a painful 3-4 years after he passed. I think it left me with a ton of PTSD and as a result, I plan. Likely too much.

I now have two young kids, one with a medical disability. We have set up a trust (which sounds fancy but is just a vehicle to place anything we own into) as well as outlined caretakers, backup caretakers, and how things should be distributed if both my wife and I passed. It’s set up so it’s super flexible if one of us were to pass, but it’s built for the just in case. I echo all the recommendations to connect with an estate lawyer. A couple grand is worth mitigating years of uncertainty and unknown. Can’t recommend enough - getting the lawyers to draft everything up as you want it, sooner than later. So long as you have a reputable lawyer, they will work with you to craft exactly what you want.

Hope this helps, happy to connect if helpful too.

 

[longbow51]

The hardest part will be finding someone you trust to be executor until your daughter is old enough to be responsible, and for most kids, it's sure not 25.

To avoid family squabbles, maybe it's a bank, where rules and oversight apply.

 

[blueridge]

When my granddad died a decade ago, my mom (the oldest and most competent of the three kids) was the executor of the estate and had it wrapped up in a couple months. When my grandmother died this past spring, she had appointed the son executor of her will because either 1. he is the only male child, 2. he was with her the most her last few years, or 3. she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He is also the least educated, a hoarder, who doesn’t trust banks, attorneys, or the government. You can guess how that is going.

My wife and I have said every year we need to do estate planning. This is another reminder I hope we will actually do something about.

 

[Bob-WY]

A GOOD estate attorney will walk you through it. Tell them what you want,daughter coverage etc, they will make suggestions and ask you questions etc.

Ours spent multiple hour meetings with us to get everything right and bullet proof.

 

[Gellar]

Contacted our lawyer on Tuesday and have begun the planning and paperwork. It is something we have known needs to be done but we’ve been putting off and putting off.

 

[antelopedundee]

Some things are simple that get overlooked, is your checking and savings, 401k, etc.. have a beneficiary? Some states allow beneficiaries on the mortgage deed. The more that goes straight to them, less probate in most cases. As well as trust, some states (social security ) require 5 year period in trust before they won’t look back. Also, if you go trust route, you must have a will also to divert all other matters to the trust, found that out on my parents and it was a nightmare with no will and me living out of state. The insurance wanted court appointed person of the estate. Will would of done that.

Your checking and savings accounts should have a POD Pay On Death provision and not a beneficiary. Once you die the POD designee can present your death certificate and claim your account balances. Set those up where you bank. Or you could make a trusted person a co-owner of those accounts.

 

[Steiny77]

We are in the same boat, I'm 64 , spouse 61 and all we have is a very basic will ...... If I die she gets everything, if she dies I get everything, if we both die it's split between the kids with brother (now 67) as the executor. We've got lots of real estate, a pretty healthy nest egg and no debt so I see no need for life insurance, but I do have a few thoughts on what I would like to see done with things. If managed properly they could have income for life and pass it on to grandkids.

My plan is to get a trust put together in 2024 and make my oldest child (now 38) the executor following my death and / or whenever we elect to turn the responsibility over.

We're going to get our funerals figured out and paid for too this year.