Do you REALLY not like the kill?

Well I'm still on the very new side of the hunting game. I've killed two deer and one turkey (and plenty more squirrels). On the first deer I killed, a doe, there wasn't an ounce of grief involved. I knew she was meat in the freezer and I knew how much I had worked to kill her. My turkey was the same way. Elation and adrenaline, not grief or sadness. However, I'll share my story of a hard learned lesson.

After I shot my first doe, she was dead on the spot. 75 yard shot, she didn't take a single step. I still had about 45 minutes of shooting light, but I went ahead and got out of my stand to go drag her out. As I start walking toward where she was, another small doe stuck her head up and froze. I took a snap shot and hit her in the front right shoulder (she was quartering away). It obviously crippled but didn't kill her and I forgot my pistol so I took another shot as she tried to get up and run. It ended up killing her but I lost a lot of meat due to contamination. Even in this scenario though, I wasn't really torn up with grief or sadness. I was angry with myself for not being more restrained and letting my emotions get the better of me.

I had to put down my dog last year and there was a lot more sadness involved there. Nothing like I've felt over any animal that I've harvested while hunting though. Maybe I'm cold or maybe some hunters drum up emotion in an attempt to make ourselves more palatable to the general public.
 
I’ve been a bit sad after killing a buck o had a history with. Mostly, I’m happy I made a good shot.
 
I know for me, the "kill" emotions have always covered a range - it's not just 1 or 2. I don't try to summarize them after each hunt or analyze them in depth - to me there is something to be said for just taking them as they are.

It's a tough scenario to play out on TV / online video. If you hoop and holler, fist pump, high five etc, you can look like an a$$ that enjoyed killing. If you hang your head, shed tears and espouse your remorse, then you look a sensitive hippy. Some folks in the industry do a great job portraying the "kill emotions", others do not. I'm glad that I'm never recorded because I have done versions of both, sometimes within the same 5 minutes.

I think that cultural expectations are inherently strong and consequently you are conditioned to have a "typical" response. We all have different expectations based on when / where we grew up. I probably displayed my cultural response from ages 12-20 but those have changed over the last 22 years.
 
Killing is part of life. We kill every day. We probably don't do most of our killing ourselves, instead we farm it out to someone else to do. But we are still responsible for the animal's life. We kill for the leather in our shoes and belts, we kill when we get a burger from the little restaurant down the street, we kill when we harvest crops that supply habitat and food for animals. There are dozens of other examples of people killing to stay in the human race. That is the sick hypocrisy of the PETA types that turns my stomach. Even the most ardent vegan kills animals to put a salad on his plate.

An animal's life is something I respect, but really have no problem taking. After all, I killed an animal so I could have bacon for breakfast this morning.
 
I plant a garden. I never felt remorse pulling up a carrot or cutting a spear of asparagus. I fish. I hunt. Used to trap. Circle of life. My role is to be efficient at what I do and if I feel bad it is because I lost focus and fell short of an optimal result whether the cucumbers got too big between pickings or the shot was a bit back because my rest was not solid. I also have buried family members and made the call to end life support before so I take nothing for granted and have no illusion re if I will die someday. Do what you love and surround yourself with those who care. If you no longer enjoy gardening or whatever then why do it when is not required for your survival?
 
I got into hunting and the outdoors because I love fish and wildlife. So of course I feel some remorse when taking a life, not just with big game either. I'm just as remorseful with duck, geese, etc. However, we are part of this world. For any species to live, others must die-that's basic ecology. My killing a deer or duck locally is better for the environment than buying meat at the store. I've never been a fist pumper or a crier when I take an animal, I'm usually to focused on retrieving the animal and processing as efficiently as possible. I also feel it is remorseful to give back to the lands and waters that I take from.
 
I don’t enjoy the kill, nor am I saddened by it. It is just a part of the hunt. I’m glad that I took the animal when I do so, but I don’t delight in the mere fact that it was killed.
 
its just a step in the process. I always feel a little bit of remorse when I first start to open up an animal, but at some point it becomes "food" and any remorse is gone, provided the kill was clean and as ethical as I could make it.
 
For me, the kill has always been a major sense of relief, joy, and happiness. First, that I put the shot in the right spot. Second, the animal probably never knew what hit it. Third, that entire animal is going to be put to good use. I think I am this way only because the first deer I shot at, I hit it in the leg (I was 12, and took a rushed shot on a deer running at me). We tracked it for an hour, before it popped up in front of us, and my dad shot it at 20 yards with a 7 mag. It screamed like crazy, and there was a giant hole in its side. It did not go out quickly or quietly. I am almost 32 now, and I can still see and hear that deer 20 years ago in the creek. I think I learned more about life in that experience than most people ever know about nature.

Now, a quiet death after a perfectly placed shot makes me feel proud and happy.
 
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