Dad Joke thread

[2rocky]

I think we are running the well dry on Covid Humor, and hunting memes. This well never runs dry....

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Huntkook]

Mushroom walks into a bar sits down and orders a drink. Bartender says we don't serve mushrooms here. Mushroom says why not I'm a fungi.

 

[LopeHunter]

Is very rare for a modern defibrillator to fail but when it does then no one is shocked.

What is the longest word in the English language? Smiles. An "s" at each end and a "mile" in between. Okay, what word in the English language actually becomes shorter when you add two letters? Short (shorter).

How many mystery writers does it take to change a burnt-out lightbulb? Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in and the second writer to provide the final twist.

Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? He conditioned it.

 

[Matthunts7]

How do you know when a joke is ready to be a dad??.....It will become apparent.

 

[Festus]

I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he even laughs...

 

[Festus]

 

[ZMT588]

What do you call a pile of cats?... A Meowntain...

 

[Wildabeest]

Q: How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?
A: Four skin divers

My kids are grown, so it expands my repertoire.

 

[VikingsGuy]

Pull my finger . . . . .

 

[Art Vandeley]

"I'm hungry"
"Hi hungry, I'm Art"

 

[Wildabeest]

Hi Art, I’m Drew.

 

[Carl 9.3x62]

What's the strongest animal in the ocean? The mussel.

 

[wistowy]

"I'm hungry"
"Hi hungry, I'm Art"

A classic indeed!!!

 

[noharleyyet]

maybe, maybe....

 

[jvanhoy]

Q: How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?
A: Four skin divers

My kids are grown, so it expands my repertoire.

I’ve text everyone I know the whale joke. Best one I’ve heard in a long time.

 

[riley]

What the monkey say when he got his tail cut off ????........wont be long now

 

[Dave N]

What did the farmer say when his cow ran away?

"Come back, cow."

 

[2rocky]

Remember, the definition of a dad joke:

Dad joke

A dad joke is a short joke, typically a pun, presented as a one-liner or a question and answer, but not a narrative. Generally inoffensive, dad jokes are stereotypically told by fathers among family, either with sincere humorous intent, or to intentionally provoke a negative reaction to its overly-simplistic humor. Wikipedia

 

[MThuntr]

How do you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

Drop it in a cup of water and if it floats it's a buoyant