Elkhunter
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Computer Trouble
- Thread starter Elkhunter
- Start date
got fish?
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Computer Trouble
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect customer-support employee with a caller:
RH: “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
RH: “What sort of trouble?”
Caller: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
RH: “Went away?”
Caller: “They disappeared.”
RH: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
Caller: “It’s Blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
RH: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
Caller: “How do I tell?”
RH: “Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?”
Caller: “What’s a C:\ prompt?”
RH: “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
Caller: “There isn’t any cursor, I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
RH: “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
Caller: “What’s a monitor?”
RH: “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
Caller: “I don’t know?”
RH: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
Caller: “Yes. I think so.”
RH: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
Caller: “…Yes, it is.”
RH: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
Caller: “No.”
RH: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Caller: “…Ok, here it is.”
RH: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Caller: “I can’t reach.”
RH: “Uh-huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
Caller: “No. It’s to dark.”
RH: “To dark?”
Caller: “Yes – the office lights are off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
RH: “Well, turn on the office light then.”
Caller: “I can’t.”
RH: “No? Why not?”
Caller: “Because there is a power outage.”
RH: “A power outage? Ah, OK, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
Caller: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
RH: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Caller: “Really? Is it that bad?”
RH: “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
Caller: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
RH: “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect customer-support employee with a caller:
RH: “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
RH: “What sort of trouble?”
Caller: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
RH: “Went away?”
Caller: “They disappeared.”
RH: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
Caller: “It’s Blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
RH: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
Caller: “How do I tell?”
RH: “Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?”
Caller: “What’s a C:\ prompt?”
RH: “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
Caller: “There isn’t any cursor, I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
RH: “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
Caller: “What’s a monitor?”
RH: “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
Caller: “I don’t know?”
RH: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
Caller: “Yes. I think so.”
RH: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
Caller: “…Yes, it is.”
RH: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
Caller: “No.”
RH: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Caller: “…Ok, here it is.”
RH: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Caller: “I can’t reach.”
RH: “Uh-huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
Caller: “No. It’s to dark.”
RH: “To dark?”
Caller: “Yes – the office lights are off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
RH: “Well, turn on the office light then.”
Caller: “I can’t.”
RH: “No? Why not?”
Caller: “Because there is a power outage.”
RH: “A power outage? Ah, OK, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
Caller: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
RH: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Caller: “Really? Is it that bad?”
RH: “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
Caller: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
RH: “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”
Kraven
New member
LMAO
