Colonoscopy jokes - The jokes are on me.

[44hunter45]

Well, my appointment is tomorrow at 10:00. I'm sitting here typing between trips to the throne room. I'm getting these random thoughts...

Thinking of Big Fin's NM chili story.
I'm thinking of a NSFW song by Frank Zappa with the lyric, "Buns up...."
Things like "When the fluid runs clear, its ready."
Drinking the last dose of candy apple Powerade laced with colon blaster, I raised it up and said "Bottoms Up!"
You know, this experience isn't that much different than what happens when I eat shrimp. That might have been cheaper.
I better lose some weight over this.
What would HUNT TALK MAN do-do?
I will never look at Slim Pickens in the movie 1941 the same.
I'm pretty sure there is no campfire in the world hot enough to burn a bag of this.
I wonder how much the surgeon gets paid. When his mother wanted him to be a Doctor, was she thinking of this?
I mean, really, as bad as it is to think about getting probed, imagine doing that day after day for your job.

 

[SwaggyD]

Hope you trust your dr!!

 

[FreezerHunter]

Never let the proctologist put both hands on your shoulders.

 

[pabearhunter]

The good side is it will be the best sleep you have ever had. After the burn.

 

[Addicting]

Bright side is you will have a awesome day of pull my finger gags afterwards!

 

[choc dogs]

Just put your pants over there…next to mine

 

[DRS]

It could be worse. You could be like me and have to go through that every 3 to 5 years because of family history and having polyps. My 4th one is scheduled in Sept.

 

[Redmt]

,,,,and the doctor comes back after the procedure "have you seen my watch?",,,,,

 

[warmer]

I've had 3. It gets less stressful each time. Especially when the Dr. says everything looks good. Except I don't remember that part. Still out from anesthesia.

 

[stealthy_bowman]

Had my first one back in March. Turned out all good, but man did the prep suck, worst part of the whole thing!

 

[recon6036]

Dab thee Buttshole…..don’t wipe!

 

[Huntkook]

 

[homers]

Cologuard

 

[TLowell02]

It could be worse. You could be like me and have to go through that every 3 to 5 years because of family history and having polyps. My 4th one is scheduled in Sept.

Sounds like we're in the same boat. I'm only 38 and already due for my second colonoscopy. Not looking forward to the prep but otherwise the procedure is no big deal.

 

[marshman]

Be ready for the gas pain post procedure, it was the most painful ending to a really crappy ordeal!

 

[choc dogs]

There’s a bouquet of roses up there


Read the card!!

 

[kansasdad]

Dry bar comedy has a couple of comics going off on the topic.....

Ross Bennett comes up with two brilliant lines......

the night of a thousand waterfalls

I was a little chapped

 

[LopeHunter]

An annoyance to do the prep and depending on the knock out meds the lingering brain fog is disturbing. I am in the double ace club as have done 10 preps. Propofol is the bomb as no brain fog. Felt like had a great night’s sleep as woke up post-procedure. I now understand how Michael Jackson used propofol nightly until, you know, his doctor overdosed him.

 

[pre6422hornet]

Yeah my little brother passed away in 1995 from colon cancer that moved into his lungs. He was 18.

I started at 30 having them done. Now I am 48. I faint every time I come out of anesthesia and try to walk. First two times my wife thought I was dying. Now she just laughs. Most importantly they have all been clean.

 

[gouch]

I've done it twice. I thought the prep kinda sucked but then I ate an under cooked bratwurst that had been sitting in the ice chest for a week. Colonoscopy prep is a cake walk compared to that night.