Crazy Carcajou
New member
A little long but worth the read.
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need
to
take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it
out on
someone you don't know.....
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten
to
make. I found the number, and dialed it.
A man answered saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin
Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone
could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her.
(I
had
transposed the last two digits of her phone number).
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I Yelled, "You're an asshole!" and
hung
up. I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put
it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
had a
really bad day, I'd call him.
He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith
from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar
with
the caller ID
Program."
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back
and
said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had
patiently
waited
for.
I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The
idiot
ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote
down
the phone number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I dialed and someone said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the
black
BMW for sale?"
"Yes it is."
"Can I come by to see it?"
"Sure, I'm at 1802 West 34th Street. A yellow house and the car's parked
right out front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to come by, Don?"
"Anytime after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a
problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling
them, it
wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with a new idea:
I called Asshole #1.
"Hello"
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yep," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Why don't we meet in person?"
"OK Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my
black
BMW out front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. You ready to get your ass
kicked?"
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called asshole # 2:
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello Asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
Then, I hung up, and Immediately called the police saying that I lived
at
1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay
lover.
Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on west
34th
Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street. There,
I
saw
two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad
cars, a
police helicopter, and news crew.
Now, I really feel better
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need
to
take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it
out on
someone you don't know.....
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten
to
make. I found the number, and dialed it.
A man answered saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin
Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone
could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her.
(I
had
transposed the last two digits of her phone number).
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I Yelled, "You're an asshole!" and
hung
up. I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put
it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
had a
really bad day, I'd call him.
He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith
from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar
with
the caller ID
Program."
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back
and
said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had
patiently
waited
for.
I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The
idiot
ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote
down
the phone number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I dialed and someone said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the
black
BMW for sale?"
"Yes it is."
"Can I come by to see it?"
"Sure, I'm at 1802 West 34th Street. A yellow house and the car's parked
right out front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to come by, Don?"
"Anytime after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a
problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling
them, it
wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with a new idea:
I called Asshole #1.
"Hello"
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yep," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Why don't we meet in person?"
"OK Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my
black
BMW out front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. You ready to get your ass
kicked?"
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called asshole # 2:
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello Asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
Then, I hung up, and Immediately called the police saying that I lived
at
1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay
lover.
Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on west
34th
Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street. There,
I
saw
two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad
cars, a
police helicopter, and news crew.
Now, I really feel better
