A story, an outcome, and maybe a change of direction

[NR_Hunter]

I appreciate this thread. I've made decisions I regret while hunting, and the ensuing guilt and self-loathing make me wonder if I'm really cut out for hunting, and sometimes even this planet. The world is just so full of shit and meanness, and the feeling of adding to that just crushes me.

I used to be an ice cold killer. I don't like to admit it, but a part of me enjoyed the mayhem. My appetite for violence has been chilled considerably over the years and "buck fever" has taken its place. I truly hate it.

 

[rjthehunter]

Is it really more fair to kill a whitetail from a tree stand with a bow than to kill a bull elk in the mountains from 300+ yards?

After thinking about it for a little bit, I'd say yes. You're sneaking into their world to ambush them. If they have any suspicion that you're there, you likely won't get a shot. There can't be anything obstructing the shot. I'll catch flack for it because it's the internet, and someone will always disagree with my opinion, but that's okay, I can handle it. wllm may disagree, but I'm okay with that. Discussing things like this makes everyone smarter and more well rounded.

A couple of years ago I posted a hunt story, on that trip I made some mistakes, was a little green when it came to how to do some stuff and made some bad calls. No harm no foul, but I definitely screwed up.

Posted the story and had a user on here just explode at me via PM. We had a back and forth, I totally owned that I did it wrong, I did.

Turns out the the PM'er had recently made a catastrophic error and was more or less projecting on me their guilt.

@neffa3 wrote this thread to discuss and own his own misgivings and guilt? if that's a fair way to phrase it, @neffa3. It's a valuable conversation to have IMHO.

Killing things is messy and doesn't always go to plan. I've lost 2 animals, both with a muzzy. First one I was using a muzzy during rifle season, I'm quite certain if I'd been using a scoped rifle I wouldn't have lost that animal. I definitely wouldn't have caused it undo pain and stress. I definitely feel guilty about that choice. Second one was just a bad shot.

I'm not going to post about the 'intimacies' of a muzzy, in order to assuage my guilt.

There is nothing wrong with bow hunting.

In aggregate bow hunting has a higher wounding rate than other methods of take.

When you take a bow into the field you have to live with that reality. I'm sure if I keep bow hunting I'm going to lose animals, that's just how it goes.

I think feeling guilty about your mistakes is normal and heathy, but we all have to own our mistakes. Creating a superiority complex to justify our guilt is problematic, projecting on others is problematic.

I'm really not trying to make excuses or discount the severity of wounding an animal, but it happens. It should never be easy, otherwise you'd start taking marginal shots because "hey, it's worth a shot". Unfortunately, I know people who have that opinion on the matter which is sickening.

No form of hunting has really great harvest rates. Rifle is the best, and archery is the worst without a doubt. When you think about it, the stars really need to align to get within range, and have a clear shot with archery equipment.

Just deer hunting gun season in MN shows that a bow in the right hands is significantly more deadly than a rifle in many people's hands. I hear a shot ring off, then 2 or 3 follow up shots... I've never had to shoot a deer more than once with a gun. I've seen deer with bullet holes all over.

 

[Irrelevant]

Maybe by next spring (more like this winter) I'll feel like putting in for some tags again, but I think it's more likely that I'll be taking an extended break from big game.

Well, sitting in front of the stove last night, reading about the merits of honor in society, I felt the warming of something different inside, a softening of my animosity toward myself and my failures this year.

Several of you expressed an appropriate outlook that I'm coming around to. If one is to seek betterment in life, then one must come to an understanding of one's own faults, then one must except some amount of additional failure to accompany any progress made toward those shortcomings. There is no way for me to tame or control what I have come to think of as hunting anxiety, without hunting. While I preach the gospel of hypocrisy, as any good parent will, I am finding too frequently that I remind my kids that failure is just a part of life, nothing comes natural, and that practice is more often than not, simply a series of failures. You cannot get "good" at anything without practice, and more importantly even if you never get "good", practice still has value.

I picked up the bow this morning, just as it got light, and took a couple of shots.

They felt pretty good.

 

[Duck-Slayer]

@neffa3 it happens to all archery hunters at some point in there archery career! It’s part of it, the mental control. For the first couple years I bowhunted I had this problem. Took me 4 years to get it under control till immediately after the shot. Here’s some advice, take it with a grain of salt. I took up competitive archery, both 3-D and 5-Spot and Vegas tournaments, I used those experiences of being “Target Panicked” and learned how to control it till after, compartmentalize it. This helps me a lot keep that “fever” away. I use the same steps as when I’m practicing or competitively shooting. Knock arrow, range, dial my sight, pick a shooting lane, draw, level my bubble, center my pin in the peep, place on target, release. This goes through my head before and during the process! But after I’m shaking like a leaf and can hardly talk, I know this cause I make a video to my wife every time I harvest an animal. Good luck I hope this helps.
Matt

 

[FREAK]

Well, sitting in front of the stove last night, reading about the merits of honor in society, I felt the warming of something different inside, a softening of my animosity toward myself and my failures this year.

Several of you expressed an appropriate outlook that I'm coming around to. If one is to seek betterment in life, then one must come to an understanding of one's own faults, then one must except some amount of additional failure to accompany any progress made toward those shortcomings. There is no way for me to tame or control what I have come to think of as hunting anxiety, without hunting. While I preach the gospel of hypocrisy, as any good parent will, I am finding too frequently that I remind my kids that failure is just a part of life, nothing comes natural, and that practice is more often than not, simply a series of failures. You cannot get "good" at anything without practice, and more importantly even if you never get "good", practice still has value.

I picked up the bow this morning, just as it got light, and took a couple of shots.

They felt pretty good.

Great post, I had a hell of a spell for about 2 years with my bow. Took my wife and those closest to me telling me the only way to get over it is to get back out there and make a good decision. I got back out there and told myself I needed to be okay with one walking by if the shot wasn't perfect. This season I had two walk by on shots I would of taken any other year and have had success with in the past. I wasn't 100% sure and didn't want to deal with the aftermath if it didn't go well. Since I've taken this approach things have gotten better. It still won't be the last time i'm sure and to me that's okay. I've come to terms that it is the ugly side that comes with hunting. When you are honest with people you'll get an array of responses. I had buddies telling me they've never had this issue then all of a sudden they have a year like you described. I think it's our responsibility to take the lesson learned and do everything in our power to not repeat it. Glad to hear your back at it with the bow.

 

[Irrelevant]

Part 1.
The story is a short one. WY GEN tag, in grizz country. Did a little digital scouting and one on the ground scouting trip to whittle down the areas. Setup camp with bulls bugling close by, had a couple of opportunities that night and the next morning.
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then a massive camp from Kansas showed up and ruined the basin with their generators, sxs, and drunken shouting.
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so we moved. Luckily hunting WY is so good as to not require backpacking "in deep" just find somewhere no one else is hunting.
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We then proceeded to have the best elk hunting I've ever experienced. Consistently lots of opportunities on bulls. Unfortunately most of the bulls were <6. We ended up killing the second biggest one we saw (sorry no pic), my little cuz's first archery elk. And had opportunities on the largest.
The terrain was easy. Far easier than anything I've hunted before. But also not conducive to glassing.
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So we relied on walking around and calling and stalking, or just calling (which resulted in our 6 pnt).
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We saw some other wildlife (g bears and moose)
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Some other sign.
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Part 2.
We all shot bulls. The 6pt mentioned above (again sorry no pics). Despite all my plans, which included a long hunt, shooting close, and holding out for a large 6, I ended up shooting a broken off 4-pt at 60 yards on day 3. Hit was high but complete pass through. Sucking chest wound I could hear. He seemed to bleed quite a bit from the entrance (but not the exit) and walked slowly off. Unfortunately after an hour and a half, and ~400 yds of blood trailing we bumped him out of his bed (~1 qt of concealed blood in his bed), and never saw him again. We gridded that day and came back and gridded again the next. Nothing. I didn't hunt anymore.

Part 3.
Based on my complete ineptitude to execute both a plan and a bull, I am rethinking both archery and hunting in general. Not that either isn't effective or fun or a worthy pursuit, but maybe just not for me. All the practice in the world doesn't seem to alleviate my mental inability to make good decisions in the moment. A lot of people refer to it as "buck fever." It feels more than that to me. But even if it's not, it doesn't seem fair or ethical to continue to pursue this hunting, and specifically archery, endeavor if I cannot make coherent appropriate decisions in the moment when the results of which are likely to be life threatening to the animal I'm pursuing. And this isn't a knee jerk reaction to a bad experience, I've struggled with this "fever" my entire life, with several regrettable moments to show for it. There are cold blooded killers among us, those who can think clear and critical under stress. I'm just not one of them.

So for now, I think I'll hang up the bow. Maybe leave the rifle in the safe. And allow my free time to be consumed with my kids and a bird dog who is always game to take a walk in the woods. I'll still chase birds later this fall. Maybe by next spring (more like this winter) I'll feel like putting in for some tags again, but I think it's more likely that I'll be taking an extended break from big game.

A couple years have passed since this trip in that time I've hardly big game hunted. A week total last year, a couple days this year.
After deer season ended here in WA without a single hunt, nothing for bears yet again, no elk hunts since the one above, I was sitting around the house early in the morning enjoying a cup of coffee and found myself longing for big game hunting. Something big, hard, in some wild country, something that requires more of me than a leisurely 1/2 day stroll. I miss it.
Then this came through my news feed

I Get Buck Fever, and I Like It

Our former hunting editor Jack O'Connor has a case of buck fever that, he says, cannot be cured with experience. Instead, he's embraced it.

www.outdoorlife.com

Damn if our AI overlords didn't know exactly what I needed to read.

I don't know what next year holds but it'll include a long ass trip for some ungulate somewhere, even if it's just deer and elk in WA.

 

[Jbotto]

A couple years have passed since this trip in that time I've hardly big game hunted. A week total last year, a couple days this year.
After deer season ended here in WA without a single hunt, nothing for bears yet again, no elk hunts since the one above, I was sitting around the house early in the morning enjoying a cup of coffee and found myself longing for big game hunting. Something big, hard, in some wild country, something that requires more of me than a leisurely 1/2 day stroll. I miss it.
Then this came through my news feed

I Get Buck Fever, and I Like It

Our former hunting editor Jack O'Connor has a case of buck fever that, he says, cannot be cured with experience. Instead, he's embraced it.

www.outdoorlife.com

Damn if our AI overlords didn't know exactly what I needed to read.

I don't know what next year holds but it'll include a long ass trip for some ungulate somewhere, even if it's just deer and elk in WA.

Good read! The last few tags I’ve filled have been doe tags. Normally I can keep my cool and get the jitters afterwards, but this years pronghorn tag was one I’ve waited a very long time for. When I got that buck in my sights I couldn’t believe how shaky that hillside was. How could I, a guy who doesn’t shake for something like this, possibly be shaking this hard?!? Impossible! It felt like three minutes of cycling through checking range, getting him in my scope, adjusting my rest, and trying get steady enough for a shot. I can honestly say I was surprised I heard the hit when the finally went off. I loved it all!