Who has adopted?

[elkmasterwyo]

Kinda off topic for the forum but I feel like there's probably some experience with adoption here, so I might get some valuable insight! My family and I have decided that we are going to adopt. Home study is complete and we are officially "looking/waiting". Any experiences, advice or stories you want to share, would be awesome!

 

[Gunner46]

More power to ya, and God bless your gift to making a Family.

 

[devon deer]

Not me, but i have experience.
I was 9 years old when my parents told me they were going to start fostering children, the first boy was arriving, he would be 2 1/2 years old but would only be staying for 2 weeks.
He arrived, with just the clothes on his back, was starving, and mall nourished, he demolished everything that was point in from him.
He never left, when he was 18 he changed his name to ours, he never felt the need to find his parents, he is now 47 years old, a successful businessman, 2 kids of his own, and along with my other 2 blood brothers we have always accepted him as a blood brother.
But hats off to my parents for saving him, which in my opinion is what they did.
Good on you if that's what you decide to do.
Cheers
Richard

 

[LopeHunter]

Thank you for opening your home to someone. One of my best friends was adopted as a baby and he has an adopted younger sister. Not every adoption ends with rainbows and unicorns though that is true as well with children born to the parents. My friend did not know his birth parents but did connect with the birth mother when he was in his 20's. That is something to consider, open vs closed adoption and how much or when you share details of the adoption. A good friend of mine adopted a daughter in an open adoption. Has been a good experience for everyone, in their case. Again, thank you.

 

[idnative1948]

Only adoption I did was my wife's 4 year old daughter as soon as we were married. Now college educated, a wife, mommy, a business professional and business owner. Not a day goes by that I haven't been proud of her in the past 38 years. She knows, but we have never used the word adopted. We helped her look into father's family when she was in high school and found out he had taken his own life. End of story.

 

[elkmasterwyo]

Awesome stories guys! Thanks for sharing. My wife and I are really excited to see where this leads us. Our 3 biological children(9year old son and twin 5 year old daughters)are super excited also! Sometimes it's crazy to stop and think about it all, but through tons of prayer and many promptings, we know we are where we are supposed to be! Can't wait to share our story

 

[406LIFE]

After a few years of infertitly treatments, we looked into adpotion quite in depth. We did interviews with a lot of people and even saw some adpotion therapists. Bottom line is because of other life circumstances we didn't adopt yet. Feel free to PM if you want more info. Also, FWIW, I am a pastor.

 

[emrah1028]

Very noble thing you're considering. Wish you the best.

Emrah

 

[noharleyyet]

“A life not lived for others is not a life.”
― Mother Teresa

 

[katqanna]

My father and I, when we lived in Hawaii for a few years, fostered a friend of mine in High School, same age. She was originally from Texas, my home state, was currently in a detention home with a bunch of other kids that had been in trouble. I talked to Dad about it. Since older kids rarely get adopted, we went through the fostering process, which was unusual since my Dad was a single parent and I was raised by him, not my mom. We went through the whole process, home review and passed.

One of the cool things I loved my Dad for was the money they sent for fostering, Dad didn't use. He gave Melody an allowance of sorts based on school work and grades, took all the rest and put it in a savings account for her for college that he would turn over when she graduated, but only for college. She turned her whole life around, got a business degree and started a business later, received community awards and such. She told us that one decision changed her life. I was so proud of my Dad for doing that, investing in another human being and her future.

On another note, I have had a number of friends that have adopted younger children or babies. The few that didn't tell the children, wished later they had not hidden it, because the hiding of the adoption became a conflict. Those that didn't hide it and treated it as no big deal (didn't use the "adopted" word, if ever referenced, referred to it as "joining the family" like a birth day) said the kids didn't have the conflict as they got older. They knew they were family, would have the opportunity to seek out biologics if they chose, but it never seemed to be a big deal.

Congratulations on your approval and good luck in finding a new family member.

 

[rlmmatt]

we started fostering a few years ago and now have had about ten children through the house. The last two havent been (Reunited) with the parents and we are in the process of adopting them. Both children have fallen thru the cracks in the fl legal process and it can be very agravating. The First is a girl we got a month premature a three days old. Shes now 16 months old and doing very well and seams to be a normal baby in every way. The second child we received at 2 in the morning with the fostering agency saying that they have called 22 other homes that day tring to find him a place to stay the night and if we wouldnt take him they were going to put him up in a hotel. Our license was only for one but we agreed to take him. In the last 6 months hes been TPR and we are hoping to finalize the adoption Get this (mid Nov. deer hunter here) so this years hunt will be cut alittle short for a court appearance. He is a really good kid, adjusting to his new surroundings and has taken to my biological son that is 7. Both kids are preaty much inseperable. And both are constantly asking when im taking them out on the boat and fighting about who is going to have the bigger deer on the wall. Im not sure what the future will bring but im glad my wife talked me into it

 

[rlmmatt]

my advice is to go for it but start off in the foster care system first. If your looking for a baby it can be very hard to adopt one because of demand but no one seems to want to take one for a short time with the possibility of having to give them back. We have been graced to have all good children thru the home with one sad story after another. We would have probably adopted each and every one (up to two) had their circumstances been different. Here in Fl you can narrow your search for what your looking for to fit in your home by age or sex and the entire legalities are paid for with no cost to me or my wife. And they are automatically enrolled in a four year college education.

 

[IDFireLass]

I was adopted at birth. Never looked for birth mother.
I'm thankful and happy for the life my parent gave me.
I buried them 3 years ago.

 

[Zach]

I was adopted at birth. Never looked for birth mother.
I'm thankful and happy for the life my parent gave me.
I buried them 3 years ago.

My cousin, by marriage, was also adopted at birth. After almost 40 years he connected with his birth mother and it has been one of the biggest blessings of his life. He too loved his parents, but always had the unanswered questions till a few years ago. His birth mother, her husband and their children(half siblings) are great people and the circumstances around giving him up for adoption were very understandable. I'm very thankful he found her.

My wife and I are in prayer about adopting. We have 4 kids of our own, but know there is a need for these parentless children.

 

[elkmasterwyo]

My cousin, by marriage, was also adopted at birth. After almost 40 years he connected with his birth mother and it has been one of the biggest blessings of his life. He too loved his parents, but always had the unanswered questions till a few years ago. His birth mother, her husband and their children(half siblings) are great people and the circumstances around giving him up for adoption were very understandable. I'm very thankful he found her.

My wife and I are in prayer about adopting. We have 4 kids of our own, but know there is a need for these parentless children.

This is great, I'm really happy that it worked out that way for your cousin! Good luck to you also, i hope you and your wife get the answers and guidance that you are looking for. I knew there would be some good stories and advice by posting this, thank you guys so far, its really cool to read all of the stories and experiences!

 

[Z Barebow]

My wife and I adopted a young girl from South Korea (2001) She was 7 months old when we got her and now is 15. I wouldn't change it for the world. One of the best experiences of our lives.

Simply put, we wanted to add to our family.

Our first child girl came without issue.(now 22). We didn't want her to be an only child. We tried the old fashioned way. Ended up going through infertility treatments and that didn't work. (Next step was buku bucks) We had a mourning period and decided to adopt. We looked into domestic and international. Decided international. Each country has there pros and cons. An adoption agency should be able to give you the low down.

Good luck to you. Our experience was nothing but positive.

 

[Sapper.dawg]

I have a six month old daughter we adopted in February of this year. You already have the big portion of advice I would give you down - the home study. That put us at the front of the line. We worked with an agency in FL, and had a match in three weeks. The first gal was perfect...and scammed us. Second one came along a few weeks later. Ours finalized in July, so five months after she was born....I have a cousin that is still in the courts process over a year after adopting. So one additional portion of advice - use an agency or have an adoption lawyer involved from the start.

I had to play around with my insuance at work at bit on the coverage, and can likely save you some pain there...will send a message on that one.

I would be happy to correspond with you via PM and email, also have a place for you to call that was our backup...having the home study ahead of time was huge. We also have a biological 5 yo, and she was very excited to have a sister.

 

[elkmasterwyo]

I have a six month old daughter we adopted in February of this year. You already have the big portion of advice I would give you down - the home study. That put us at the front of the line. We worked with an agency in FL, and had a match in three weeks. The first gal was perfect...and scammed us. Second one came along a few weeks later. Ours finalized in July, so five months after she was born....I have a cousin that is still in the courts process over a year after adopting. So one additional portion of advice - use an agency or have an adoption lawyer involved from the start.

I had to play around with my insuance at work at bit on the coverage, and can likely save you some pain there...will send a message on that one.

I would be happy to correspond with you via PM and email, also have a place for you to call that was our backup...having the home study ahead of time was huge. We also have a biological 5 yo, and she was very excited to have a sister.

Yes, please pm me any other details you would like to share, I'm interested to hear more�� thank you!

 

[elkmasterwyo]

I have a six month old daughter we adopted in February of this year. You already have the big portion of advice I would give you down - the home study. That put us at the front of the line. We worked with an agency in FL, and had a match in three weeks. The first gal was perfect...and scammed us. Second one came along a few weeks later. Ours finalized in July, so five months after she was born....I have a cousin that is still in the courts process over a year after adopting. So one additional portion of advice - use an agency or have an adoption lawyer involved from the start.

I had to play around with my insuance at work at bit on the coverage, and can likely save you some pain there...will send a message on that one.

I would be happy to correspond with you via PM and email, also have a place for you to call that was our backup...having the home study ahead of time was huge. We also have a biological 5 yo, and she was very excited to have a sister.

Yes, please pm me any other details you would like to share, I'm interested to hear more thank you!

 

[EasternMTHunter]

We adopted a 13 year old. We also fostered several kids before that. My best advice is to be cautious with what information the state gives you. Make certain to wait at least a year or 2 before you switch from foster to adoption. I would be certain to keep any insurance they have if problems arise. The state we adopted my son from was less than honest about his placements and medical conditions. They urged us to adopt him after having him for 9 months. You need to make certain, at least with older children, to stay fostering and let the "honeymoon period" wear off. After some very scary things happened at our house he was placed in treatment for about a year and now is a different kid and a joy to have around.