The Trenches

[Deleted member 28227]

even under normal circumstances thinking ahead about childcare and what to do is already causing me great stress. financially we could pull off the wife becoming a full time mom, but boy would that be a tight. ass. budget. it will be a tight ass budget with two incomes and childcare too, but childcare doesn't last forever and we might come out ahead if we both continue on career paths and salary raises and take the massive childcare hit in the meantime. who knows. i keep trying to only think about keeping my wife and baby happy for now and to shoot a few critters in my now extraordinarily precious hunting time.

can't imagine an MD early in her career and figuring out how to make that work on every level, even beyond childcare and nursing.

Oh yeah it's going to be an absolute train wreck, but we have a bunch of friends in similar situations and they all survived.

I imagine that each couple has got various factors that make their journey hard, I'm sure there will be some factors that make ours a lot easier in some ways than others. I've always been able to fall asleep any where at a moments notice/nap, so perhaps that super power will turn out to be a great boon.

Hopefully you guys will get a good system established that works for you and you will be able to pull an elk out this year.

 

[Deleted member 16014]

even under normal circumstances thinking ahead about childcare and what to do is already causing me great stress. financially we could pull off the wife becoming a full time mom, but boy would that be a tight. ass. budget. it will be a tight ass budget with two incomes and childcare too, but childcare doesn't last forever and we might come out ahead if we both continue on career paths and salary raises and take the massive childcare hit in the meantime. who knows.

My best advice is to try not to tie too much happiness up in making the "right" move, or thinking back later on if you nailed the dismount. Obviously you want to do what's best, but nobody has it 100% figured out, and every family is different. There will be ups and downs no matter what, and you'll do great.

 

[TOGIE]

My best advice is to try not to tie too much happiness up in making the "right" move, or thinking back later on if you nailed the dismount. Obviously you want to do what's best, but nobody has it 100% figured out, and every family is different. There will be ups and downs no matter what, and you'll do great.

these are the words that need to be pounded in to new parents heads. daily.

thank you.

 

[DouglasR]

I certainly haven't. But not all of us are cold blooded killers... turns out I'm a pansy.

1# happened when they asked me to hold a leg. I stepped up, had just grabbed the leg, looked upwards and everything when black and I tipped over backwards. #2, my wife requested an epidural and they never gave her one, so she screamed like a dying rabbit for over an hour and I couldn't handle her being in that much pain, got sick from it, and puked until there was nothing left. Then that bastard of an doc came in and said it wasn't his fault...

the story provides plenty of laughs, and if you can't laugh at yourself, and your own shortcomings, well you're not much fun to be around.

I feel like a mans role during delivery is to either be smoking cigarettes in the waiting room and the nurse comes out to tell you how everything went or they’re supposed to call you on the phone at the bar to give you the all clear.

 

[TOGIE]

I imagine that each couple has got various factors that make their journey hard, I'm sure there will be some factors that make ours a lot easier in some ways than others. I've always been able to fall asleep any where at a moments notice/nap, so perhaps that super power will turn out to be a great boon.

Hopefully you guys will get a good system established that works for you and you will be able to pull an elk out this year.

this is my achilles heel. i was a poor sleeper before parenting, probably why i feel like this might be worse than for most people.

i've already started having nights where i struggle to fall back asleep after the first wake up feeding. those have been some extraordinarily bad days.

the other thing, i love my wife so much, she wants an elk in the freezer badder than i do this season, partially why i'm getting sent to wyoming in a couple weeks. i'm only promising her one doe mule deer this season tho lol

 

[Deleted member 28227]

I feel like a mans role during delivery is to either be smoking cigarettes in the waiting room and the nurse comes out to tell you how everything went or they’re supposed to call you on the phone at the bar to give you the all clear.

I think @neffa3 nailed it, it's just to be present. Doesn't really matter beyond being there and bearing witness.

 

[DouglasR]

I think @neffa3 nailed it, it's just to be present. Doesn't really matter beyond being there and bearing witness.

That seems fair, but I’m not watching a c-section.
I’ve seen the scars and that’s bad enough.

 

[Irrelevant]

fun tangent i was officially peed on from the operating table (diaper changing station for the laymen) yeaterday. it actually felt good, i was like "okay, i'm officially turning into a parent". and i didn't even change my clothes!

No, you're not officially a parent until you have #2. There's the switch to zone defense, the which one of you did that, the "I'm not touching you!" backseat fights....

 

[Bambistew]

Congrats!

It will get better... for a short time then much worse. Hahaha

Hope your lady heals up fast, but let her know you got it, and enjoy the down time.

Kids suck, do not recommend, zero stars.

 

[Hilljackoutlaw]

To be brutally honest with you. Disclaimer: I have a 17 month old son delivered urgent c-section. I'd be very careful how cool and awesome you think your wife is and going on any quick or not quick hunting trip. I thought my wife was cool and awesome to.

 

[TOGIE]

Kids suck, do not recommend, zero stars.

here's where i think society needs to man up and just admit the cold hard truth.

having kids absolutely sucks a giant rutting bull schlong. it just does.

yes, it gets better and i do truly believe i will not regret a damn thing and the joys will be great and many far outweighing the negatives.

but people need to stop pretending things are sparkles and just admit the cold hard truth sometimes. those are the cold dark places you're head goes to during those first seven days, the darkest thoughts i had was regretting we did this. admitting you have those thoughts is almost a necessary process to it getting better i think.

 

[Irrelevant]

Dude you got this, because there's really no alternative! LOL

Oh how I love not being in that stage of life anymore.

 

[Irrelevant]

here's where i think society needs to man up and just admit the cold hard truth.

having kids sucks a giant rutting bull schlong. it just does.

yes, it gets better and i do truly believe i will not regret a damn thing and the joys will be great and many far outweighing the negatives.

but people need to stop pretending things are sparkles and just admit the cold hard truth sometimes. those are the cold dark places you're head goes to during those first seven days, the darkest thoughts i had was regretting we did this. admitting you have those thoughts is almost a necessary process to it getting better i think.

Absolutely true my friend. Help me spread the gospel!

 

[TOGIE]

To be brutally honest with you. Disclaimer: I have a 17 month old son delivered urgent c-section. I'd be very careful how cool and awesome you think your wife is and going on any quick or not quick hunting trip. I thought my wife was cool and awesome to.

oh this i'm still fully prepared for. i made sure, several months ago, to be mentally 100% okay with every hunting trip she was "okay with" falling through. but with grandparents nearby and willing to stay the night, i'm not too worried about that happening, time will still tell

 

[DouglasR]

Just like getting the tenderloins out.

 

[Deleted member 28227]

here's where i think society needs to man up and just admit the cold hard truth.

having kids absolutely sucks a giant rutting bull schlong. it just does.

yes, it gets better and i do truly believe i will not regret a damn thing and the joys will be great and many far outweighing the negatives.

but people need to stop pretending things are sparkles and just admit the cold hard truth sometimes. those are the cold dark places you're head goes to during those first seven days, the darkest thoughts i had was regretting we did this. admitting you have those thoughts is almost a necessary process to it getting better i think.

 

[Deleted member 28227]

Absolutely true my friend. Help me spread the gospel!

Neffa is just trying to fix point creep by scaring potential parents out of it, change my mind.

"A thinking man plays the long game"- @neffa3

 

[TOGIE]

View attachment 242625

boot strap Cal!

 

[wolfpup]

All of us parents are sympathetically laughing / crying with you. The first kid is such a roller coaster and figuring it out after your best made plans went to hell. I just figured I would ride my wife's coattails and just do what she told me.... lol. Then she had issues after delivery so she went one way and I went the other way with the kid. She earned a few days in the hospital / bedridden while I figured it out. Seems funny looking back but scary then.

A year or so later and everything is rainbows and cupcakes.... then you get this false sense of "we got this" so you have another. Again looking back its funny how naïve parents are. Either way it gets better, hang in there. Mine are 9 & 5 now... some of my fondest memories are the newborns when I could hold a sleeping baby in one arm, watch the game and have a beer in the other arm. Kids can even be trained to fetch a beer so I am told. Lean on the people you love when you need to. Strap up and enjoy!

 

[Irrelevant]

Neffa is just trying to fix point creep by scaring potential parents out of it, change my mind.

"A thinking man plays the long game"- @neffa3

Or am I shooting myself in the foot, because it's a helluva lot easier to spend the money and take the time for multiple out of state hunts when you don't have to runs kids to soccer practice.