Ridge Runner
New member
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any
feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh,
I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a
defective parrot."
Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually
understood and answered me!"
I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to
be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated
bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how
do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
Well," the parrot says, "this is very
embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my
weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook.
You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand
and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and
I can converse with reasonable competence on
almost any topic: politics, religion , sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at
ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a
great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but
I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so
the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have
any feet. You can probably get me for $20,
just make the guy an offer!" The guy offers $20
and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by.
He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting,
he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is
delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the
parrot goes, "psssssssssssst," and motions him
over with one wing. "I don't know if I should
tell
you this or not, but it's about your wife and the
postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your
wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black
nightie and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and
lifted up her nightie and began petting her all
over," reported the parrot.
"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"
Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his
knees and began to kiss her all over, starting
with her breasts and slowly going down...."
WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT
HAPPENED?"
Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my
perch
sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any
feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh,
I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a
defective parrot."
Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually
understood and answered me!"
I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to
be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated
bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how
do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
Well," the parrot says, "this is very
embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my
weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook.
You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand
and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and
I can converse with reasonable competence on
almost any topic: politics, religion , sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at
ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a
great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but
I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so
the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have
any feet. You can probably get me for $20,
just make the guy an offer!" The guy offers $20
and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by.
He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting,
he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is
delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the
parrot goes, "psssssssssssst," and motions him
over with one wing. "I don't know if I should
tell
you this or not, but it's about your wife and the
postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your
wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black
nightie and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and
lifted up her nightie and began petting her all
over," reported the parrot.
"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"
Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his
knees and began to kiss her all over, starting
with her breasts and slowly going down...."
WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT
HAPPENED?"
Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my
perch
