Bullshot
Well-known member
I have been pondering a little bit lately the whole Residents are from Mars and Nonresidents are from Venus vibe that permeates a lot of forum chatter. Usually, or maybe not usually, but more often than not, or AT LEAST sometimes, in good taste and good fun, but certainly not always. This is not a continuation of any particular rant. I think I just wanted to throw some thoughts out there in the vain hope that we will all link arms brother to brother to sister and sing kumbaya... ok. puke. what fun would that be?
In all seriousness though, I am going to "attempt' to represent a point of view of us long-distant DIY migrants that so many have come to hate, at least when it comes to our contributions to crowding, creep, allocations, and draw odds. Other than that, you love us. Deep down. Unfortunately we just cannot agree to send you our money without at least once in a while showing up in person too... but I digress... I will format my benign comments, in the spirit of the loathsome interloper that I undoubtedly am, as a list of demands.
WHEREAS we desire to shoot your animals, and;
WHEREAS we hold no abode nor pay any taxes in any land where such dreams are made
We hereby and nonetheless DEMAND some begrudging respect for:
1) Wearing the label of 2nd Class Non-Citizen Proudly
2) Moving hell and earth (or at least overpacked trucks and trailers) across inhumane distances with little to no sleep for days on end and nothing but pork rinds, RxBars, and beef jerky to fuel the body
3) Funding 50-75% of the DOW Holiday Party-Jam Extravaganza and Swag-Fest. We understand that even our Resident brothers/sisters are likely not invited ( Now YOU know what its like to be an outsider!).
4) Contributing to Big Oil to the tune of $500 to $1,000 just to get there and see them thar hills.
5) Squeezing an entire season of scouting, hunting, packing, butchering, and driving over 1/6th the circumference of the earth into a 7 day vacation (try THAT Mr. Denver Man!)
6) Having to continuously learn new areas from absolute scratch without a single local buddy we can rely on to share honeyholes with. Seriously... you guys are stingy with them honeyholes!
7) Earning a PhD in applied statistics in order to devise novel and groundbreaking methods for psychologically turning our <1% chances into Sure Things.
8) Kissing the wife and kids goodbye and legitimately contemplating which part of this ill-advised trip is likely to kill us before we see them again
9) Having lifetime actuary tables and application strategies in spreadsheet form and having well thought out answers to ridiculous questions like "where do you see yourself in 37 years"
10) Actually thinking that 1-9 are fun, worth it, and wanting to do it all over next year.
We are the despised
We are the hated
We are the original basket of deplorables
We are the dedicated
We are the keepers of the flame
WE. ARE. THE. NON-RESIDENTS!!!
In all seriousness though, I am going to "attempt' to represent a point of view of us long-distant DIY migrants that so many have come to hate, at least when it comes to our contributions to crowding, creep, allocations, and draw odds. Other than that, you love us. Deep down. Unfortunately we just cannot agree to send you our money without at least once in a while showing up in person too... but I digress... I will format my benign comments, in the spirit of the loathsome interloper that I undoubtedly am, as a list of demands.
WHEREAS we desire to shoot your animals, and;
WHEREAS we hold no abode nor pay any taxes in any land where such dreams are made
We hereby and nonetheless DEMAND some begrudging respect for:
1) Wearing the label of 2nd Class Non-Citizen Proudly
2) Moving hell and earth (or at least overpacked trucks and trailers) across inhumane distances with little to no sleep for days on end and nothing but pork rinds, RxBars, and beef jerky to fuel the body
3) Funding 50-75% of the DOW Holiday Party-Jam Extravaganza and Swag-Fest. We understand that even our Resident brothers/sisters are likely not invited ( Now YOU know what its like to be an outsider!).
4) Contributing to Big Oil to the tune of $500 to $1,000 just to get there and see them thar hills.
5) Squeezing an entire season of scouting, hunting, packing, butchering, and driving over 1/6th the circumference of the earth into a 7 day vacation (try THAT Mr. Denver Man!)
6) Having to continuously learn new areas from absolute scratch without a single local buddy we can rely on to share honeyholes with. Seriously... you guys are stingy with them honeyholes!
7) Earning a PhD in applied statistics in order to devise novel and groundbreaking methods for psychologically turning our <1% chances into Sure Things.
8) Kissing the wife and kids goodbye and legitimately contemplating which part of this ill-advised trip is likely to kill us before we see them again
9) Having lifetime actuary tables and application strategies in spreadsheet form and having well thought out answers to ridiculous questions like "where do you see yourself in 37 years"
10) Actually thinking that 1-9 are fun, worth it, and wanting to do it all over next year.
We are the despised
We are the hated
We are the original basket of deplorables
We are the dedicated
We are the keepers of the flame
WE. ARE. THE. NON-RESIDENTS!!!