The Viperess
New member
For those of you who live in California or may be driving through, it's
important to review the California Driving Rules:
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real California driver
never uses them.
2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and
the car in front of you or the space will be filled in by somebody else,
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going
with the flow.
4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have
of getting hit.
5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it,
and it will inevitably result in you being rear-ended. If you want your
insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at
all stop signs.
6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people
can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane,
waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the
orange construction barrels.
7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
California is a no-fault insurance state, and the other guy doesn't have
anything to lose.
8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to
scare people entering the highway. Or you can just pass in the median.
10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are
apparently not enforceable in California during rush hour.
11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
move over doesn't mean that a California driver flashing his high beams
behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
rush-hour traffic in California.
13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire.
14. Learn to swerve abruptly. California is the home of high-speed slalom
driving, thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key
locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
15. It is traditional in California to honk your horn at cars that don't
move the instant the light changes.
16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left
before proceeding.
17. Remember that the goal of every California driver is to get there first,
by whatever means necessary.
18. In California, flipping someone the bird is considered an appropriate
driver's salute. This gesture should always be returned. It's called a
"California Howdy" according to the Beverly Hillbillies
important to review the California Driving Rules:
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real California driver
never uses them.
2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and
the car in front of you or the space will be filled in by somebody else,
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going
with the flow.
4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have
of getting hit.
5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it,
and it will inevitably result in you being rear-ended. If you want your
insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at
all stop signs.
6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people
can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane,
waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the
orange construction barrels.
7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
California is a no-fault insurance state, and the other guy doesn't have
anything to lose.
8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to
scare people entering the highway. Or you can just pass in the median.
10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are
apparently not enforceable in California during rush hour.
11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
move over doesn't mean that a California driver flashing his high beams
behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
rush-hour traffic in California.
13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire.
14. Learn to swerve abruptly. California is the home of high-speed slalom
driving, thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key
locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
15. It is traditional in California to honk your horn at cars that don't
move the instant the light changes.
16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left
before proceeding.
17. Remember that the goal of every California driver is to get there first,
by whatever means necessary.
18. In California, flipping someone the bird is considered an appropriate
driver's salute. This gesture should always be returned. It's called a
"California Howdy" according to the Beverly Hillbillies
