Sh*t our kids do

[morley.tyler]

Happened twenty minutes ago:
We have two boys (10 & 6). One (6yo) is home from school today w/ a rough tummy. So while I'm in the kitchen, he rolls into the bathroom for the 12th time today...
I didn't see him go in, so I walk over to the door and ask him if he was doing okay?
6yo: "Yea dad, just pooping again."
Me: "Alright buddy, just let me know if you need anything."
4 minutes pass...
6yo: "DAD! Help!"
I burst through the door to see him holding a marble trap/maze high in the air while staring down, between his legs, into the toilet w/ tears streaming down his face!
Me: "What in the actual..."
He dropped two pieces of the marble maze and two marbles into the bowl filled w/ diarrhea and soiled TP...

Fast forward to me in the bathroom w/ a garbage bag and a pair of salad tongs. And no, you animals, I did not attempt to save the tongs.

I think this qualifies for a thread titled "Shit our kids do"

 

[davinski]

When my now grown man son was little, we asked him, one day, why he was picking the sesame seeds off his cheeseburger bun and putting them in his pocket.

"I'm going to plant them and grow a cheeseburger tree!"

 

[rke]

It's not sh*t, but it's also not far off...



It's an ongoing joke w/my sons. To be fair, they've got me too!

 

[Gunner46]

I knew we were in trouble when our son nonchalantly started to walk through the house turning on/off light switches, with the hoop on a fly swatter handle, at the age of 2 !! He could unlock doors and go outside whenever we even mildly distracted. He tested us for the next 16 tears when, finally, he became a "Professors" nightmare .....

 

[brockel]

Out feeding horses one afternoon and hear chickens flapping and scrambling around. Go around the edge of the shed and find my young daughter roping the chickens.


She’s loved anything with animals her whole life. Loved swimming in the water tank when she was younger



Feeding again one time and found her kissin on my mule. If you are in Montana and had a midrivers phone book you probably seen this picture

 

[Dougfirtree]

I was chuckling pretty good when I took this photo of my daughter after she pinched her finger.

View attachment 221352

If you could sell pics for memes...

 

[rke]

Out feeding horses one afternoon and hear chickens flapping and scrambling around. Go around the edge of the shed and find my young daughter roping the chickens.
View attachment 221399

She’s loved anything with animals her whole life. Loved swimming in the water tank when she was younger
View attachment 221400
View attachment 221401

Feeding again one time and found her kissin on my mule. If you are in Montana and had a midrivers phone book you probably seen this picture
View attachment 221402

That last pic is too precious!

 

[Stone_Ice_1]

Last week I was rounding up the troops, I have 3 young kids, to get ready for school and they were sitting at the table eating breakfast. I was getting my breakfast together at the kitchen counter when my girlfriend comes up from behind me and starts trying to take my breakfast and generally cause trouble so I started using my butt to block her out (think rebounding in basketball) and my youngest, who is 6, looks up from the table and says "Are you guys making Egg Salad?"

Uh, sure buddy.

Not sure where that came from, we did make egg salad sandwiches a week before to use some of the boiled easter eggs.

Making Egg Salad now means something completely different in my house.

 

[SwaggyD]

If you could sell pics for memes...

Just hoping it doesn't get removed like @Greenhorn 's meme!

 

[maxracx]

My youngest has spent the last 2 winters in Colorado driving a snocat up and down the mountain. He is getting ready to coming home to hopefully start his career in the field of heavy equipment operator. I can see why he loves it so much!!! Like others have said I could write a book on all the dumb S#it he has done in his youth. We are very proud of him and the man he has become. For all of you who still have little ones cherish the S#it they do now. They will grow up fast!!!

 

[PrairieHunter]

I have a fouteen old step son and I know exactly try what you mean

I have a 14 year old daughter and I'd add "influencer" to the list of things I would like to take a sledge hammer to, along with social media, phone, etc..

 

[LuketheDog]

So my middle daughter was learning how to wipe her own butt a while back, and she kept putting waaaay too much TP in the bowl and clogging the toilet. I got sick of plunging the toilet and we kept telling her not to put so much in there!!!! So, apparently, she began hoarding the extra TP she used in the open back of the sink pedestal. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why the dogs were so interested in the bathroom sink suddenly, until I finally stuck my head back there and found several cubic feet of used TP crammed in. I take the blame, I didn't tell her to "use less TP," I told her "don't put so much TP in the toilet," she followed instructions to the letter. We should've been more clear I think...

 

[The Hedgehog]

Just hoping it doesn't get removed like @Greenhorn 's meme!

Will the high school annual allow this?

 

[The Hedgehog]

It’s what happens when her brother takes her senior photos..

 

[Gellar]

Has anyone else taught their kids to get to get them a fresh beer? When my boy sees me put my can in the recycle box he asks do you want a beerd with cows (spotted cow) or mountains (coors light)!

 

[HuntTalk Freak]

I started mine on edged weapons last week even though my wife though 19 months was a bit young.

Anytime we watch a elk hunting show and someone cow calls she starts mimicking it with her mouth and it sounds pretty damn close to a actual call. We have started mewing at each other and it drives my wife crazy.

 

[Nick87]

Has anyone else taught their kids to get to get them a fresh beer? When my boy sees me put my can in the recycle box he asks do you want a beerd with cows (spotted cow) or mountains (coors light)!

You know the answer to that.

 

[220yotekiller]

Out feeding horses one afternoon and hear chickens flapping and scrambling around. Go around the edge of the shed and find my young daughter roping the chickens.
View attachment 221399

She’s loved anything with animals her whole life. Loved swimming in the water tank when she was younger
View attachment 221400
View attachment 221401

Feeding again one time and found her kissin on my mule. If you are in Montana and had a midrivers phone book you probably seen this picture
View attachment 221402

Thats just good, clean fun.

 

[dirtclod Az.]

My Dad use to rate the job by the number of beer's.
"Boy" this oil change is a three beer job, grab me one please.
I would grab one and open it for him, and sip a little just to
make sure it was cold. After a few years he barely had any beer
left in the can for him.SO it went to please get me a beer and
don't open it... I took to shaking the SHEET out of them.
He now gets his own beer!

 

[Jack Ryan]

My daughter fixed the clogged up drain in the bathroom sink the other day while my wife was handing her tools.

Awesome!