The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term paper. The answer by one
student was so 'profound' that the Professor shared it with
his colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we
now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law, (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed), or some other variant. One student, however,
wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and The rate at which they are leaving. I think that we
can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of
these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of Souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities.
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman Year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept
with her last night, then the second alternative must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has,
most likely, already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that if Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and
is therefore, extinct leaving only Heaven. Thereby proving
the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Washington chemistry mid-term paper. The answer by one
student was so 'profound' that the Professor shared it with
his colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we
now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law, (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed), or some other variant. One student, however,
wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and The rate at which they are leaving. I think that we
can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of
these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of Souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities.
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman Year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept
with her last night, then the second alternative must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has,
most likely, already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that if Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and
is therefore, extinct leaving only Heaven. Thereby proving
the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
