Requotable Quotes- Say it Again

[hank4elk]

Grandpa once said, "We're not building a effing piano Hank, it's framing!" His way of praising my work and get your ass in gear mode. Grandpa was Army and so not as rough with the lingo.
Now Dad was even more colorful around a jobsight and home. He was a Commander in the Merchant Marines. We learned swear words in multi lingos...

 

[gouch]

A co-worker, while referring to the boss, told me " The cream always rises to the top, but then again so does pond scum."

 

[Carl 9.3x62]

Reminds me of a poem I read on a public stall wall while I was doing my business.

"Here I sit, all broken hearted.
Tried to sh!t, but only farted.
Hour later, took a chance,
Tried to fart but sh!t my pants."

Muddy Gap? I've read it on a stall somewhere too.

 

[Stocker]

He/she/they couldn't pour pizz out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the sole.

Version I heard: couldn’t pour piss out of a a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

 

[Stocker]

I was up to Abilene Kansas, ain’t 2 trees between there and Canada, nothing else grows that don’t have stickers on it.

-Rooster Cogburn

 

[morley.tyler]

Some from the Old Man:

"If you wanna shoot big ones, you gotta let the little ones grow up"

On the other hand:
"If you wanna shoot big ones, you gotta shoot 'em where they are, not where you wish they were" after shooting a bull in a Hell Hole

Running deer:
"Don't ever shoot at a running deer in the timber. EVER! Well, unless he's a great big buck, then you have to remember to shoot 'em where they are."

Knives
"Sharpen your f@cking knife!"

This thread opened a crack in my brain that I've not been able to close. This one's pretty redneck if I'm honest.

Early 2000's we're in Parker AZ for the Dove Season opener, and the night after the opener, we (I) may have gotten after it a bit too much. The next morning we had to get up at some silly hour, like 3:30am to get to our spot. I was beyond repair with hangover and I told Pops that I was gonna have to take the morning off, as I sat on the couch with my head in my hands, trying not to breath so f@cking loud.
Dad said, "stay right there, I can fix it" and he walked away. Soon enough he was back, standing before me and I was looking at his feet because I couldn't lift my head. I heard the unmistakable sound of the top being popped on a Coors Light. I forced myself to look up and say to my Old Man, "You gotta be shitting me, Dad."

His reply:
"Son, you're gonna be hungover, but it doesn't have to be today"

Limits of birds for everybody that day.

 

[Lyfter1013]

“You could f*ck up a wet dream.”

-my uncle watching me stalk antelope

I’m glad I’m Not the only one that uses that haha. We have a guy at work we tell that to, also the 2 below. I won’t be getting a Christmas card from him.

You could f**k up a one man orgy. (My old bosses saying)

If you were a horse I woulda shot you by now.

 

[rjthehunter]

I hunted with my cousin on Saturday. This one's a self quote.

"Man, you're not the stupidest person in the world, but you sure better hope he doesn't die."

This was while he was walking out of the woods with 30 mins left of shooting light with deer everywhere...

 

[COEngineer]

"Get busy living or get busy dying." -The Shawshank Redemption

 

[Stocker]

 

[3855WIN]

“Science and technology will never overcome bullshit and superstition “

Dad

 

[Hilljackoutlaw]

"Well the days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, well I have really good days"

-Ray Wylie Hubbard

 

[Moserkr]

 

[elkduds]

Referencing a vintage thread to arm us for this challenging New Year.

“Do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am - a reluctant enthusiast....a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it’s still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a while and contemplate the precious stillness, the lovely, mysterious, and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this much; I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk-bound men and women with their hearts in a safe deposit box, and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this; You will outlive the bastards.”
― Edward Abbey

 

[Pagosa]

Aim for Heaven and you get the earth thrown in, aim for earth and you lose both. CS Lewis

 

[Nick87]

"Life's a bitch and then you die"

I'm not exactly sure which immediate family member said it first but I heard it a lot growing up.

 

[ismith]

“I saddled old Satan up, rode over, and sure enough, the East Helena butcher was up a tree over there and the bull was going around after him. His .41 rod ejector Colt had shorts in it. I never heard of such a light load being used for the purpose, as an old bull has two inches of cartilage over the frontal skull plate, and his bullets were stopped by the skull. As soon as th bull saw me he came for me. I shot him square in the forehead, killing him instantly, and he turned a summerset towards me. The old .45 Colt slug went clear through his skull. My horse jumped over the top of him and watched him, but the bull was dead.”
—Elmer Keith, Elmer Keith, His Life Story, “Hell, I was There!,” Chapter Three, “Ranch Life.”

 

[NR_Hunter]

"He is a Christian. Something very rare in Catholic countries." - Banger of line by Hemingway

 

[Jbotto]

"Life's a bitch and then you die"

I'm not exactly sure which immediate family member said it first but I heard it a lot growing up.

I must have family with similar outlooks.

My uncle: “If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”

 

[Brad W]

“There’s a fine line between hard and stupid” — Army proverb