One Liners.....

[Moosie]

Heard something funny ? One liners ? Funny Sayings ? Post ONE at a Time and let's get this Thing rolling... I'll start you out :

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."

 

[MarvB]

When in doubt. . . mumble!

 

[MarvB]

Happiness is like peeing in your pants; everyone can see it, but no one feels as warm as you do!

 

[Ridge Runner]

Old mother Hubbard went to the cubboard to get her poor dog a bone. When Hubbard bent over Rover drove her cause Rover had a bone of his ownhump

 

[Ridge Runner]

If we're not suppose to eat animals why are they made out of meat?

 

[Ridge Runner]

chit fire and save matches

 

[Ridge Runner]

Somebody stop me!!

 

[elkay]

When in doubt,whip it out!

 

[Mojave]

"All men are animals, some just make better pets."

 

[OSOK]

Hickory dickory dock, the B#@!c was suckin my toe!

 

[Gunner46]

What do you call a dwarf homo?
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A Low Blow!!

?? Where's the politically incorrect smiley midget fa&&ot clickey-thingy that is supposed to go here?

 

[danr55]

Definitions:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis : Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come very quickly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom
at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit
you're eating.

Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

and finally, what they seem to have several of in certain areas..

Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

 

[Moosie]

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot

 

[Nut]

He is such a ass kisser that Oxy Clean wouldn't get the brown off his nose- by me 2004

 

[Ridge Runner]

99% of the time I am right the other 1% I was misinformed

 

[les48]

better to be pissed off than pissed on.

 

[wilecoyote76]

You can pick your friends and you pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' nose!!

 

[powderburn]

Impotance....Natures way of saying,"No hard feelings."

 

[Quick Draw]

You've got your head so far up their butt, if they stop you'll get whilash.
Quick Draw

 

[tnctcb]

alimony: the screwing you get |oo for the screwing you got hump