Millennials probably won't get this humor

Big Fin

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While antelope hunting last weekend, we came across on old abandoned house that had fallen down. Alongside it were many outbuildings in similar states of dilapidation. Yet, still standing, or at least in the best condition of all structures, was this gem that the rancher must have promised his bride as one of the finer upgrades to the homestead standard of living.

I can hear Jeb now, "Millie, if you follow me out to the green mesa's of Catron County, I'll build you a fine homestead. Heck, I'll even install a Two-Holer, if that's what it takes."

With that promise secured, Millie agreed to root out the preacher, take her vows, then load her possessions in the wagon that would trail the cattle to the marginally productive slopes of Red Hill, with dreams of living happily ever after in a land of milk and honey.

This guy must have valued his Two-holer. He even had a big "No Trespassing" sign on it. Must have been valuable if he went to such effort to protect it from intruders, foreign and domestic, terrestrial or extraterrestrial.

Must be a "His and Hers" model, given one seat is up and one seat is down.

20161001_114417.jpg

My Dad's parents never had running water. I remember pumping water for my Grandma to heat over her coal stove. And they had a two-holer behind the work shed, which my Grandpa was quite proud of. There were times he would discuss how no man who loved his wife would leave her to make due with a One-holer.

When I saw this outhouse, I started laughing at the times when I was a youngster, my Grandpa could go into immense detail about what could be learned of a man by examining the kind/style/quality of outhouse he expected his family to use. He would opine as to a guy's religion, level of financial debts, union or non-union member, ethnic heritage, level if literacy, and many other important character traits of the time, just based on a single visit to the guy's outhouse. I guess Grandpa Carl could be considered an "Outhouse Snob."

Such humor is hard to convey to Millennials who have no first-hand experience of squatting down on a cold frozen seat in the -30F January temps of a northern Minnesota outhouse. The benefit of such cold was that the smell and abundance of insects was inversely proportional to the outside temperature.

And now, when you younger folks hear me use my Uncle's favorite term of a big rain storm, a/k/a "Genuine Turd Floater," you will know where he got it. I've used it on a few episodes, but editors never put it in the final cut.

Thought a bit of humor would be helpful on this Wednesday morning.

Just a couple hours later, we found this gem while making a quick DQ run to Springerville.

20161002_165108.jpg
 
I'm glad you're finally taking your health seriously and recreating with a helmet.
 
Funny stuff. The outhouse in our camp where my trailer is has 3 seats. We only use it in winter when the water is shut off and winterized. Its actually a brick shit house. Never did understand the 3 seats.
 
I about fell over when I saw the helmet picture on Instagram.

I want to say that the Jersey Lily in Ingomar, MT still has a two seater. The last time I was there (which was a long time ago) they still had a chunk of roof gutter bolted to the fence for the guys.
 
Keillor'esque Scandinavian Scatology....with a dash of Evel Kneivel

...It was Monkey Ward's catalog before it was Charmin.
 
A peculiar characteristic of the outhouse in a northern Minnesota or a Canadian winter is that the severity of cold experienced the previous week is directly proportional to cone angle of the (for lack of a better term) "contents" of the outhouse. Some familiar with the concrete industry might compare this to "slump."

One particularly cold week spent trout fishing through the ice I had to cut a branch from a nearby tree to chop down the cone before it was safe to sit down and take care of business.

I feel sorry for the settlers who didn't have 1" of Styrofoam for their outhouses in the winter months. That was roughing it.
 
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Funny stuff Randy! Got some great responses from folks on that pic.
There are still a few duelies in use in Catron county I'm sure....with dividers & wifi. lol
Running out of ethyl on way back from DQ is just sidetracked,but could be costly here.

I remember the outhouse at the Basin,MT cabin I spent a winter at when it was -35. There was a cone factor involved.


How did the hunt go?
 
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Good post.

Probably had the "No Trespassing" sign because lot's of folks like to dig there. That's where that bride dropped her empty bottles she was secretly hitting after the shine wore off her wonderful life. Those old bottles are worth good money now and they didn't break in all that soft shit. It's also where hubby dropped his pistol after killing that hand who was tapping the wife. The rusty old Colt is worth some too. Good digging in the old shit house hole. Old timers told me one of my buildings was built over one. If I ever tear it down, I'll be digging.

As to use, I always had visions of black widows right there by my junk and tended to find some place out side to drop off the kids. But yeah, a blizzard can turn a man.
 
A peculiar characteristic of the outhouse in a northern Minnesota or a Canadian winter is that the severity of cold experienced the previous week is directly proportional to cone angle of the (for lack of a better term) "contents" of the outhouse. Some familiar with the concrete industry might compare this to "slump."

One particularly cold week spent trout fishing through the ice I had to cut branch from a nearby tree to chop down this cone before it was safe to sit down and take care of business.

I feel sorry for the settlers who didn't have 1" of Styrofoam for their outhouses in the winter months. That was roughing it.

What he said! During winter at the cabin when we snowmobile in, we keep a stick outside to de-cone said deposits.
 
As for the hunt, if I can have fresh antelope heart for breakfast, there exists no manner of measurable improvement to the satisfaction of an animal well-hunted and a story well-told.

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Cool.
Was just given a cold/clean buck by an outfitter friend yesterday. Backstrap for dinner & plans for antelope posole in works.
I have scored this year thanks to Corey & you and now Mick.
Might even be gaining weight for my deer hunt.....lol
 
That helmet pic is so funny. My father in law has an outhouse at his hunting cabin in northern mn...your comment about bugs and temp is so true!!
 

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