bobbydean
Well-known member
Wanted to add. I am so sorry this happened to you. Be strong. It is not easy.
Lock them up?
- Thread starter the nikster
- Start date
As someone who was around this age not so long ago, I think your best chance of retrieving lost property is probably through your daughter or perhaps one of her friends that you can trust (and was not involved in the parties to eliminate personal guilt). People this age can't keep their mouths shut and someone probably talked to another in the friend circle.
Maybe even request to see her facebook message/email/text history. There is a reasonable chance if she is involved or party to this, a record exists somewhere there. Or make a deal that if everything can be retrieved you won't pry into private messages. Police tend to put teenagers into emergency defense mode, so I'd suggest against that until other options have been exhausted.
I guess you need to decide what is more important: Retrieving the lost goods or teaching a lasting lesson? You probably have a better chance getting things back without the police, but I bet having the cops knock on her door would leave quite the impression.
Maybe even request to see her facebook message/email/text history. There is a reasonable chance if she is involved or party to this, a record exists somewhere there. Or make a deal that if everything can be retrieved you won't pry into private messages. Police tend to put teenagers into emergency defense mode, so I'd suggest against that until other options have been exhausted.
I guess you need to decide what is more important: Retrieving the lost goods or teaching a lasting lesson? You probably have a better chance getting things back without the police, but I bet having the cops knock on her door would leave quite the impression.
RobG
Well-known member
I hope not, but this just smells too much like someone close to the family is hooked on the stupid pills that were stolen. There are just too many tiny clues... I guess I'll chime up for everyone because until you have looked into the eyes of someone so desperate for these pills that they would steal from a friend or parent you will have no idea how dangerous the pills are. They seem safe because you can buy them legally and everyone has a few in the cabinet, but they aren't recreational drugs like pot or shrooms or LSD. For some reason young women are more likely to have problems with them. Society has to start respecting these physically addictive pills like they do meth or heroin.
My friend needed them so badly that she stole pain pills from her best friend's parents. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. She blew her job, her life savings of $150,000, and had her children taken away from her. She now has a big scar from the time she was busted sleeping in a stranger's unlocked car and tried to run from the police, who then sicced the dogs on her. I thought for sure she we'd find her dead in a back alley, but she finally got help. All this for stupid "safe" prescription pills you can find in most households.
Everyone can take what they want from this. If it were me I'd be far more concerned that someone close to the family is on a path so dangerous that they are already stealing from people who are close to them. If so, just getting the stuff back is telling that person that their path is not having serious consequences and they will continue on it.
My friend needed them so badly that she stole pain pills from her best friend's parents. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. She blew her job, her life savings of $150,000, and had her children taken away from her. She now has a big scar from the time she was busted sleeping in a stranger's unlocked car and tried to run from the police, who then sicced the dogs on her. I thought for sure she we'd find her dead in a back alley, but she finally got help. All this for stupid "safe" prescription pills you can find in most households.
Everyone can take what they want from this. If it were me I'd be far more concerned that someone close to the family is on a path so dangerous that they are already stealing from people who are close to them. If so, just getting the stuff back is telling that person that their path is not having serious consequences and they will continue on it.
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ida homer
Well-known member
"Small parties." LOL
Come on Nikster, you weren't born yesterday. Things don't get stolen at "small" parties, much less a few valuable things. Sounds like a rager to me.
Come on Nikster, you weren't born yesterday. Things don't get stolen at "small" parties, much less a few valuable things. Sounds like a rager to me.
noharleyyet
Well-known member
My first thoughts...
roadhunter
Banned
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2013
- Messages
- 719
Your home your rules. I'd first address the boyfriend spending the night foul. Did your daughter think that it was OK by you to have her boyfriend spend the night with her in your home? Did she think it was OK by you and your wife to hold some parties in your home while you were gone? In no uncertain terms I'd make sure your rules are restated and laid out and the violations understood. Once the violations are stated like "under your watch we had these items stolen and bla bla bla," I'd state remedies predetermined by you and your wife that would be acceptable to make things right. These could include drug testing. I agree with others that law enforcement should be involved....if nothing else some sort of report filled out for your home owners insurance....not sure what your deductible is but it may be less then the total cost of everything stolen. And by all means, you are her parents and probably know her better then most. Go with what your gut says.
Now a few other things...crazy things...but things none the less.
1. Get your couch cleaned...no telling what happened on it while you were gone.
2. See if your daughter is pregnant as she may have become so while her "boyfriend" spent the night.
3. Throw out any tooth brushes as someone may have brushed their butt while attending the wild parties at your house.
4. Just get everything cleaned because of the parties. Barf sinks in and is just not sanitary.
5. Remember you really don't know what went on but your daughter and her friends have a good idea and a watered down version tailored to you.
Good luck...I'm thinking there is no harder job then being a parent.
This is overreacting IMO. She is an adult who made a mistake. Lets not forget what we did at a similar age when growing up and obviously having a party while parents are gone is a pretty common occurrence. Think about the consequences of her actions and yours and come up with a plan that accomplishes what you are after without creating long term problems in your relationship like ordering a 19 year old to take a unnecessary pregnancy test could do.
As the father of a 20 year old daughter, I don't think there is a "right" answer.
I know my daughter would feel tremendous guilt. But she is also old enough to know better. I am calling the police. You might be doing all parties a favor.
In recent history, a couple of young people (boy and girl) allegedly had repeatedly robbed a guy of his prescriptions. (Breaking into his house). He finally set up an ambush within his own home. He ended up executing both of them.
You will feel bad when taking this path. But imagine the guilt if you had an opportunity to possibly prevent something like this tragedy. This isn't some urban legend.
http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/stor...ictim-if-teens-hadnt-broken-in-theyd-be-alive
You need to remove yourself as much as possible from the incident. You were a victim of a crime.
Law enforcement will have other avenues where they can do there investigation. They will mine social media. When cr@p like this goes on, I can guarantee there were enough stupid people involved that the "actors" or their friends have posted info on the internet.
I know my daughter would feel tremendous guilt. But she is also old enough to know better. I am calling the police. You might be doing all parties a favor.
In recent history, a couple of young people (boy and girl) allegedly had repeatedly robbed a guy of his prescriptions. (Breaking into his house). He finally set up an ambush within his own home. He ended up executing both of them.
You will feel bad when taking this path. But imagine the guilt if you had an opportunity to possibly prevent something like this tragedy. This isn't some urban legend.
http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/stor...ictim-if-teens-hadnt-broken-in-theyd-be-alive
You need to remove yourself as much as possible from the incident. You were a victim of a crime.
Law enforcement will have other avenues where they can do there investigation. They will mine social media. When cr@p like this goes on, I can guarantee there were enough stupid people involved that the "actors" or their friends have posted info on the internet.
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