Funny things Kids Say

[Moosie]

I know I posted some of these before but we had some New ones so I thought I'd re-share. From Lt to Right Parker, Zach, Mason (The little random one), O-Town, and Lily

Mason - Mom is in the kitchen and mason is in the frontroom and starts yelling.....'Hey mom I FARTED! It's bad one, can you smell it?' hahaha (11/1/10)

Mason - GREAT! Now I only have one eye! Lily poked the other one! hahaha (11/1/10)

Mason - 'Dad can you make an agents house with dangerous stuff so when bad people that lie come, we can burn a hole in their pants and smash their face?' (wow! Oct 2010)

Mason - Driving in the car, 'We couldn't go outside at preschool today because of the hell in the backyard' Mom looks surprised and asked 'what's hell?' he says 'You know those white ball things?' Mom said 'You mean hail?' he says 'Yah, hell!' hahahaha (10/26/10)

Mason - Mom and Mason are getting ready for church, doing our hair in the bathroom, nothing is being said. He pipes up "Can you just be quiet please! I'm trying to concentrate so I can get my hair just right" (mom just shook her head smirking, seriously!) (10/17/10)

Mason - Moose Grandma (Williamson) was here visiting it had been a couple of months and as always she brought fun things for the kids. As she was leaving Mason says "She's one heck of a woman!" LOVE IT! (10/10)

Parker - He was asked 'You want some doritos?' he answers 'No, just give me a burrito' What??? (9/10)

Mason - 'Mom I want some mosquitos!' What?? (he meant skittles, hahahaha) (9/10)

Mason - 'I have an idea, you can sleep and I can shit' oops! He meant to say sit, hahahaha (9/10)

Mason - (Posing) 'Don't worry ladies' (9/10)

Mason - (wearing an apron) 'I'm like a kangaroo! I have pockets, but they have skin' (9/10)

Mason - 'Look at my boobies' 'You like my boobies?' 'You want to kiss my boobies?' He is sooo much like his daddy! (10/4/10)
Mason - Hey mom look at this cow head! I looked back and he was holding a goat head! I told him the right word and he said 'see it's two horns on its head'! (9/3/10)

Parker - During scripture study he said 'And behold, I do make the racoons on plates...' Umm Parker that word is record, hahahaha (3 Nephi 5:11 9/1/10)

Mason - 'Whatcha gonna make me for dinner dingdong?' haha His daddy had called him a dingdong earlier and I guess liked the sound of the word. (9/2010)

Parker - 'Did we get that diarrhea movie today?' Oscar looks at him funny then says 'Do you mean Diary of a Whimpy Kid?' hahahahaha (8/28/10)

Mason - Talking to Zachary says 'How long is your stummy gonna hurt' (8/29/10)

Mason - 'How about we call everyone in the galzy to get their money and go to the wood store to buy some wood to build our treehouse. That would be a GREAT idea.' (8/25/10)

Parker - We were babysitting some parakets for a friend, and he is watching them one time. He says 'Hey they're biting each others hair. (laughing in the background) he says 'I mean they're fur (uproar in the background). I say 'honey they are called feathers' he says 'oops' then he starts giggling (8/15/10)
Mason - 'Hey mom the birds are kissing!' (8/16/10)

Mason - I was helping him get a wet shirt off and he starts yelling 'You're hurting my owls!' Me 'What are your owls?' He says 'I'm mean my eyebrows!' (Aug 2010)

Oscar - He was being a zombie staring at the computer while I was trying to talk to him. He kept answering 'yes' to whatever I was saying so I said 'Do you pick your nose?' and his reply was a blank stare at the computer. I said 'Well do yah?' he said 'Yes' I start giggling and say 'You pick your nose?' he finally looked up from his trance! (hahahaha July 2010)

Mason - 'I'm trying to pick a bugger to eat' (hahaha 7/24/10)

Mason - I want to watch Michael Jackson (repeatly). I finally look at him with a confused look and say 'Do you mean Percy Jackson?' Mason says 'Oh yah!' (7/23/10)

Zachary - Dad unpacking groceries, picks up the cantolope sayin 'mmmm melons' "Zach you know what melons are right?" Zach says "We actually call them coconuts!" (hahaha wrong bodypart Zach! hahaha) (May 2010)

Mason - Getting ready to get in the car he runs through the house and yells "I call machine gun!" (hahahahaha he meant 'shotgun') (May 2010)

Parker - Zachary come home talking about how he didn't make the track team and was bummed about it, when Parker pipes in "Sucks to be you!" and turns and walks away! I couldn't help but hide the smirk while being mad at the same time (May 2010)

Oscar - walks out into the frontroom "something stinks in my room and I can smell it out here." Goes back into his and back into the frontroom again "I figured it out it was my butt" (May 2010)

Parker - "Is Raegan coming for the junk yard sale?" Mom says you mean the 'yard sale'? Oh yah (May 2010)

Mason - Sitting in the kitchen with his older brothers when he hears mom's cell phone ringing. He flips his head around and says "What the hell?" (umm oops May 2010)

Oscar - Mom do you know Mason has a 'Devil' popsicle? I look at him and say 'do you mean 'double' popsicle?' I see the light click behind his eyes and we both laugh, Mason had a popsicle with the two sticks in it! (4/18/10)

Mason - I say 'Why are you telling fibs?' he says 'Ummm cuz maybe I'm the Joker'! (hahaha 4/8/10)

Mason - I am writing down what he has just said that is making us all laugh and he says 'Hey! Is that my funny list? Can I see it?!' (4/8/10)

Mason - Maybe I just got my nuggets kicked (Lovely! 4/8/10)
Mason - I found some bugs in the bathroom so I squished them (claps hands together) & put them in my hair. (me laughing) Then I take them out & throw in the garbage, then I put jello in my hair, then I put water, and then cheese! Just kiddin mom! (3/31/10)

Mason - I smell like hamburgers and boogers! (That's gross! 3/31/10)

Mason - "Dad do you know how to treat girls? You slap um and then you kiss um. But you have to be careful because they might kick you in the nuggets!" (Wow where does he come up with these things?) (3/21/10)

Mason - Laying with daddy on the front room floor at 6 am. Daddy is patting his head and combing his fingers through his hair when Mason says "Daaaad! It's not time to play, it's time to sleep! That's what mom says" *smile* (3/21/10)

Mason - Sitting on the couch with something stuck up underneath his shirt, with a big grin on his face. "Look at my sexy boobies" we all look then he says "Just kidding they're Easter eggs!" he then pulls out an easter egg! hahaha, good grief! (3/15/10)

Parker - After running around like a wild man and eating a brownie says "Man! I'm really thirsty!" Mom-"Do you want some milk?" P-"I'm just really thirsty!" then he takes out his bottled water from the fridge and starts drinking. ???? (3/15/10)

 

[Moosie]

Mason - Talking with Grandma Bullock after she just put some lotion on her hands. M-"you wanna take a bath?" G-"Oh you want to take a bath?" M-"No you take a bath" G-"Me take a bath?" M-"Yes" G-"Why?" M-"Cuz you stink" hahahaha (3/13/10)

Mason - Talking with Grandma Bullock, M-"my plan is to go throw a mudball at my dad." G-"That's not very nice" M-"But that's my plan" (3/13/10)

Mason - Was in the bathroom supposedly getting ready for the day. "I'm doing laundry" When we checked on him he was rubbing a towel on his underware over the heating vent, because they were 'wet'. Lovely!!! (3/13/10)

Parker - He was watching Oscar sand a block of wood to shape into a Space Derby Ship, when he saw the pile of sawdust on the table. "Wow this sawdust is so soft you can make it into fur" (Feb 2010)

Mason - He's in the bathtub this morning getting ready to go to church, I'm fixing breakfast. Oscar comes in and says 'Can you hear Mason? He's baptising himself' we listen and he is saying (while plugging his nose) 'In the name of Jesus Christ Amen' then he dunks his face in the water, and then starts all over again! hahaha, I guess thats one way of getting prepared for church (2/21/10)

Mason - I'm getting breakfast ready this morning and open up the freezer, Mr Cuddles (a blue stuffed animal) is in there. I say 'Who put Mr. Cuddles in the freezer?' Mason says 'I did, cuz I wanted him' (2/21/10)

Mason - The older boys were putting the little ones to bed since mom and dad were out. While he is being tucked in he says 'I'm having a baby' Parker pipes in 'Oh yah who'd you marry?' Mason says 'my baby' (2/20/10)

Mason - We were getting ready to have lunch and watch a movie, I wanted him to fold his arms so we could have a blessing. He says 'Let's just talk a minute' then he looks around and all of a sudden his hand comes up and slaps himself on the side of the head and says 'The bug is dead!' then he folds his arms. (seriously!!!!) hehehehe (2/11/10)

Parker - After having been told he couldn't do something and was upset about it says 'Parents ALWAYS get what they want! That's not FAIR!!' oh the hardship of being a child (Feb 2010)

Parker - We were watching the American Idol auditions and one of the Jonas brothers was a celebrity guest. So he asks 'What type of Jonas brother is that?' I say 'You mean which one?' he says 'I mean which type is he' I say 'That's Joe is that what you mean?' he says 'Yes!!' (feb 2010)

Mason - 'I'm going to dinner with my girlfriend!' hehehe (feb 2010)

Mason - 'Invisible Kennedy beat the crap out of me! I'm gonna beat the crap out of invisible Kennedy and then I'm gonna beat the crap out of invisible Jaxson!' Then I watch him as he uses his fire thrower which is a tupperware ketchup bottle, and does his karate moves all over the house!! hahahaha (both are his cousins)(2/2/10)

Parker - I was so happy that one of my dear friends Judie & Jody were able to bring their adoptive children home from Haiti, so I was talking about it to Parker. A little while later he comes to me and says 'You know those two kids Judie owns?' I say 'you mean adopted?' he says 'oh yah' (he still slips up every now and then) (2/1/10)

Mason - During pack meeting we found Mason out in the hallway of the church with his hood up over his head. He was standing in the dark and mumbling to himself. Zach asked him 'what are you doing?' His response 'I am talking to my master it's none of your business!' (2/2/10)

Mason - As we are leaving pack meeting he is spinnin round doing karate kicks and stuff and looking down the dark hall. He's freakin out about monsters. My friend Wendy was sitting on the couch and he says to her 'Don't let that monster get your baby' (I'm pretty sure he meant her 1 1/2 yr old daughter) then he says 'You have to do your Kung Choo' then he does another karate move and leaves. hahaha (2/2/10)

Mason - This morning I told him to find some socks. His light was off in his room so he says "I can't see" but he puts on his flashlight. I say "can you see them now?" He says "No, it looks like a vampire took all my socks"!! (1/28/10) Honestly, where does he come up with these things? hehehehe

Mason - He says to me "Mom Batman want me a fight Joker and Mr. Freeze with my super duper power and strength, so I gotta pack my stuff and go" I say "But I'll miss you" and he says while putting his little hands on the sides of my cheeks and looking right in my eyes "But, I'll be back someday" he starts walking away "I'm leaving tomorrow to the batcave" (1/27/10)

Mason - "Mom I want some jello in my hair" Confused I asked "Do you mean gel?" he says "Oh yah" (1/26/10)

Mason - I am watching Mason play the wii tonight and say "Mason you keep running into stuff" and he says "I know thats why I'm not smart" (1/25/10)

Mason - Says to daddy 'When you get back from the store I'm gonna slap you in the face' WHACK......yep daddy got slapped right in the face (and he hadn't even left for the store yet), thank you to "Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs" (1/22/10)

Mason - I was trying to get lunch together for Mason today by asking him questions about what he wanted and going through the kitchen at the same time. He is getting in the fridge to pick something and then turns around at me all serious and says "I get what I want for lunch so why don't you just zip your mouth" Wonderful! I just had to laugh that one off (1/21/10)

Mason - After being told not to mess with something of daddy's, he tried to anyway. Daddy told him again and then sent him to go blow his nose, 10 minutes later I heard him "Wo, I thought you were gonna beat the crap out of me" hahahaha He said it so calmly and to no one in particular. (1/16/10)

Mason - Wakes up this morning and immediately finds me and asks (with sleepy eyes) "Did I pass my indian test?" What??? (1/20/10)

Parker - That's disappropriate!
(his own mix between inappropriate and disrespectful) (2009)
Mason - "Look at my face the whole time" while you are staring at his face he turns around bends over and farts in your face! (learned that one from his daddy) (2009)

Mason sayings: Waaiitt a Second, Clause it (meaning pause it), you know, and mission accomplished

Retroller (meaning controller), Regot (meaning forgot), and 'I believe I Can Fly - then jumps off the headboard of my bed into the mattress

 

[Sytes]

Mason - During pack meeting we found Mason out in the hallway of the church with his hood up over his head. He was standing in the dark and mumbling to himself. Zach asked him 'what are you doing?' His response 'I am talking to my master it's none of your business!' (2/2/10)

Classic! That is great!

 

[Lawnboy]

My 6 year old just had his birthday. All he wanted was a Tempurpedic he says. I said what? He says a "Tempurpedic mattress. I saw it on a commercial. I'm tired of feeling those springs in my bed". So we get him a memory foam topper for his birthday and he's excited. He wakes up the next morning mad and says "They lied " I say what do you mean? He says " They said it was like sleeping on a cloud but that didn't feel like a cloud"

I'm thinking what 6 year old asks for a mattress to begin with

 

[Moosie]

Lawnboy, thats funny. My wifes pretty good about writing things down. Whats funny is they hear something on TV and drop it in a conversation or randomly and it's so funny !!

If it wasn't for the funny things kids say, I'd KILL them all for the things they do

 

[WV Hunter]

This is my youngest daughter Paige:

I can't remember what she says half the time but when I took this picture a month or so ago we were at the park and she said "When a bumble bee spits on you it leaves a frinkle (freckle)" and she pointed to a little freckle on her arm.

 

[noharleyyet]

20 yrs ago my then 6 yr old son explained to my hunt buds how doe urine attractant worked thusly. "when you drag a cotton ball tied to a string on the ground it makes the boy deer want to date the girl deer."

 

[csutton7]

it is indeed a hoot to hear the things kids say--got some keepers in there Moosie---

from our Max, who's 12 now, but this was when he was 3--
3 most important things in life:
love
family
and not getting shot by a shotgun

 

[fowladdict]

Thanks for sharing Moosie. I actually got my wife to read Hunttalk last night because of this post! My son is now 20 months and talking up a storm. He doesn't say crazy stuff yet, but I've taught him some words that I shouldn't have. He keeps saying them beacuse I laugh at him every time. "Sit" comes out like "Sh!t"...and so on.

 

[orion23]

thats cool you keep track of that stuff. i always say i should but never do.

funny stuff.

 

[fiveptbill]

My daughter, who is 22 months old, said the other night while we were driving in the truck. "I want the moon" She couldn't see the full moon and wanted to see it. I told her mom I feel sorry for the guy who marries her.

 

[Nemont]

Enjoy it now because this is what you will be facing shortly and if I couldn't laugh about it I would be a crazy man. I do remember all the funny things my kids used to say and my was smart enough to write them down. Enjoy the family.

My typical conversations now.

My 18 year old daughter: "I need another $500 for books and I haven't been shopping much so I need another $300 for that".

16 year old daughter: "I gassed up the car and charged it to your account and I need $165 for custom made basketball shoes so my $30,000 repaired ACL doesn't give out again. Oh and I need $95 so I can go for a weekend ski trip next week".

13 year old son: "I need is some more shotgun shells. Oh and I cannot find my Ipod touch".

Wife: " I was just over to Kay's to see her new kitchen and master bedroom. I am thinking we should do something with this old place".

 

[fowladdict]

Enjoy it now because this is what you will be facing shortly and if I couldn't laugh about it I would be a crazy man. I do remember all the funny things my kids used to say and my was smart enough to write them down. Enjoy the family.

My typical conversations now.

My 18 year old daughter: "I need another $500 for books and I haven't been shopping much so I need another $300 for that".

16 year old daughter: "I gassed up the car and charged it to your account and I need $165 for custom made basketball shoes so my $30,000 repaired ACL doesn't give out again. Oh and I need $95 so I can go for a weekend ski trip next week".

13 year old son: "I need is some more shotgun shells. Oh and I cannot find my Ipod touch".

Wife: " I was just over to Kay's to see her new kitchen and master bedroom. I am thinking we should do something with this old place".

Dang...you know how to turn a happy thread into a depressing one in nothing flat!! :W:

 

[noharleyyet]

Nemont, don't think about relaxing anytime soon, they still say things like that at 26 and 24.

 

[drthornton]

While driving by a pond recently loaded with a bunch of Mallards my daughter Sydney(5) says "Daddy, do you want to kill those ducks?" "I sure do" I said.

Out of no where my other daughter Katie(6) mumbles "Good luck with all that".

6 going on 26...was hoping for a little more time before they turned into smarta$$'s

 

[2rocky]

Moosie, Good thread. Your Sense of Humor is in the right place..

May I contribute?

Our 4 year old is the only one in my family with a sense of humor. She is 6 years younger than her sisters so she tends to want to be part of everything they are doing. Last week she took me on a 1.6 mile run to the end of the driveway, complete with coaching advice in 19 minutes. Later this month she is entered in a 2 miler at her request.

The older girls play basketball, so SHE plays basketball...Complete with running lines (suicides). and thinks it's great

The girls shoot archery so she shoots Archery. Started at 18 months.

The girls do 4H rabbits so she does rabbits.

She says her first big game animal is gonna be a moose when she's 5

The kid is 4 going on 14...

The other night I was sitting in the barstool like chair at the breakfast bar when she waltzed into the room and announces, "Daddy would you please get out of MY chair?" I replied that it wasn't her chair and that I had been their for awhile, when she lets out an exasperated sigh and says "I SAID PLEASE!"

Recently the two older girls (12/10) learned the dice game "Qualify" at deer camp so they taught the 4 yo since she is learning numbers, and basic math. It is simple with no bluffing.

(6 dice, Roll a 1 and 4 to "qualify", and remaining 4 dice are your score. Pull out at least 1 die per roll. Highest score wins.)
In the grown up version you ante up a dollar each round and if the high score is tied you ante up again and keep rolling. If you don't roll a 1 and 4 then you don't qualify, and have to put another $1 in the pot​

Hearing her little voice squeal "One Tie All tie!" does my heart good.

 

[schmalts]

While driving by a pond recently loaded with a bunch of Mallards my daughter Sydney(5) says "Daddy, do you want to kill those ducks?" "I sure do" I said.

Out of no where my other daughter Katie(6) mumbles "Good luck with all that".

6 going on 26...was hoping for a little more time before they turned into smarta$$'s

I like that one..... good luck with that! classic

Heres one that back fired on me. My Buddies boy was about 6yrs old. The kid has the thickest head of hair I ever seen. I rubbed the top of his head and said "man that thing is like an otter pelt, you should skin that off and sell it" He looked at me and what is left of my hair and said (totally innocent and serious) "is that what you did?" me and his dad were rolling

 

[scottymack]

The 7 year old had a rough day this summer so she falls asleep at the table during dinner, all the sudden she sits up and yells "Rojo!!" I guess she was listening to some of her Spanish tapes earlier in the day.

 

[Lawnboy]

Heard a good one yesterday taking the kids to school. My 7 yr old points to the speedometer and says "look dad your going 60 miles porn hour." I thought he just had mixed his words but as we got to the school and slowed down he says " well now your only going 30 miles porn hour" I got a good chuckle out of that one.

The other one came from my 4 yr old at church. We were sitting in the church waiting for the sacrament bread to get passed down our isle. As the bread came to us and passes by the 4 year old, he blurts out loud "It smells like sandwiches!" Hard to be reverent when something like that is said.