Ollin Magnetic Digiscoping System

Freedom Fries

ELKCHSR

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Republicans dip freedom fries in "W Ketchup", not Heinz


WASHINGTON, (AFP) - Americans allergic to the subtle Democratic flavor of Heinz ketchup can now plunge their "freedom fries" into a 100-percent guaranteed, patriotic alternative: "W Ketchup."


"You don't support Democrats. Why should your ketchup?" says the W Ketchup Internet site wketchup.com, which promises a totally US-made condiment, right down to the bottle.


Heinz ketchup is an institution on American dining tables.


But the taste has soured a little for Republicans because Heinz empire heiress Teresa Heinz-Kerry is married to John Kerry the Democrat hoping to unseat George W. Bush -- also known simply as "W" -- on November 2.


W Ketchup insists its initial stands for Washington, as in first president George Washington, whose face adorns its bottle beneath the Stars and Stripes.


The new-comer makes no attempt to hide its leanings, even sporting a poetic homage to Republican icon Ronald Reagan (news - web sites), who died June 5 at 93, on its Internet site.


"G5s (Gulfstream jets) or GIs? A Tough Choice," W. Ketchup tells prospective customers.


"Choose Heinz and you're supporting Teresa and her husband's Gulfstream Jet, and liberal causes such as Kerry for President," it warns.


"When you choose W Ketchup, you also support the Freedom Alliance Scholarship Fund, which provides scholarships to the children of our brave heroes who have fallen in battle."


Heinz has 57 varieties, but also 57 foreign factories, it claims.


"W Ketchup comes in one flavor: American."


"We are simply a group of friends who came up with the idea at a barbecue in upstate New York a few months ago. We are all investors," said W Ketchup chief operating officer Susie Oliver.


Thousands of bottles had been sold in the three and a half weeks of business, she said. Orders are taken in batches of four bottles for 12 dollars plus shipping.


Testimonials on the company's Internet site are glowing for the Republican-style ketchup.


"Thank you for giving us a delicious American alternative to the standard Heinz Ketchup. Henry Heinz may have been a great American, but I have absolutely no interest in supporting The Kerry's anti-American causes," wrote "S.S" of Akron, Ohio.


Heinz says it is non-partisan, stressing that all the Heinz family trusts together hold less than four percent of the stock. Neither Teresa Heinz, nor her husband, have any role in management, it stresses.


The ketchup war is only the latest political skirmish to be fought on the battlegound of American menus.




Many Americans, angered by France's refusal to back the war in Iraq (news - web sites), switched last year to calling their French fries "freedom fries."

Star Spangled Ice Cream was also launched last year as a conservative alternative to the produce of Ben and Gerry's, the ecology-leaning company whose founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield had supported Democrat Dennis Kucinich (news - web sites)'s unsuccessful campaign for the presidential nomination.

Among the flavors offered by Star Spangled Ice Cream: "I Hate The French VANILLA (Real American Vanilla, NOT French Vanilla)" and "Nutty Environmentalist (Rich Buttery Ice Cream with Roasted Pecans)"
 
Hangar,

It is funny how 'mis-information' can move the looney to action. Both sides are guilty of it, but at least the Dems are trying to get more money to education, in order to make the loonies extinct in a few generations.
 
Both sides are guilty of it, but at least the Dems are trying to get more money to education, in order to make the loonies extinct in a few generations.
EG,
have you seen the product that our liberal eductional systems has produced? Go look at the Universities, most liberal and loonie people in the world. If the dems continue to help education like that the only thing graduating from any school will be more loonies.

Nemont
 
But thanks to your education from some "liberal professor" wearing a tweed coat with elbow patches, you are able to sort out the riff from the raff...

Many of the leaders have thrived off of uneducated electorates. Even to the point of witholding education, in order to keep the proletariat down.
 
Gunner/Hunter/Chaser....it doesn't matter which party says about "Education". Neither will do anything positive for education. It's been proven in the past and the facts remain the same. Politics are politics and both sides pander the majority of registered voters.

Kerry will do nothing for education and neither will Bush. The best thing for education would be to get rid of the NEA and all Government control of education.

Too much government is still too much government! I'm tired of the government telling me what's right for my children to learn. More government means more waste.

Take the government out of education. We've learned enough about blaming other people for our problems and not taking responsibility for our actions!

Ok, I'm off of my soap box. Frankly, I'm not happy for either candidate! I have to vote for the lesser of two evils as usual.
soapbox.gif
 
I'm just curious, but if you take the government out of education, than who will pay for it? Are individuals going to pay for their children's education? Will only rich people be able to afford education? Are you planning on having the government fund education but not have any control over it? The best thing for education would be for it to be fully funded. If you think education is already fully funded, you are sadly mistaken. If you would like to get rid of the NEA, than perhaps you should de-unionize the entire country. They are no better or worse than any other union. I completely agree with you that it doesn't matter what either of them say about education...and yes, it sucks to have to choose the lesser of two evils. I just haven't decided which one is which.
 
Gusippe, I agree with you completely...


John,
There are a lot of ills in this country, but I don't think the NEA or Public Schools are the cause of them.

It will be a sad day, when we close down the Public Schools, and expect every 6 fingered banjo picker to edjumacate their kids at home. Talk about "De-evolution"....

We've learned enough about blaming other people for our problems and not taking responsibility for our actions!
Sorry, but that sounds like a set of "values", and my guess is that those were learned at home, and not at school.
 
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