brike
New member
SEVEN DEGREE OF BLONDNESS:
> >
> > 1st DEGREE: A married couple was asleep when the
> > telephone rang at two
> > in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde),
> > picked up the telephone,
> > listened a moment and said, "How should I know,
> > that's 200 miles from here!"
> > and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The
> > wife said, "I don't know;
> > some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
> >
> > 2nd DEGREE: Two blondes are walking down the street.
> > One notices a compact
> > on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She
> > opens it, looks in the
> > mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
> > The second blonde says,
> > "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her
> > the compact. The second
> > one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
> > me!"
> >
> > 3rd DEGREE: A blonde suspects her boyfriend of
> > cheating on her, so she
> > goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
> > unexpectedly and when
> > she opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a
> > redhead. Well, the blonde
> > is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the
> > gun, and as she does
> > so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun
> > and puts it to her head.
> > The boyfriend Yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The
> > blonde replies, "Shut up
> > you're next."
> >
> > 4th DEGREE: A blonde was bragging about her
> > knowledge of state
> > capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I
> > know all of them." A
> > friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
> > The blonde replies, "Oh
> > that's easy: W."
> >
> > 5th DEGREE: What did the blonde ask her doctor when
> > he told her she was
> > pregnant? "Is it mine?"
> >
> > 6th DEGREE: A blonde had just totaled her car in a
> > horrific accident.
> > Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the
> > wreckage without a
> > scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the
> > state trooper arrived. "My
> > Goodness!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like
> > an accordion that was
> > stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Why,
> > yes, officer, I'm just
> > fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world
> > did this happen?" the
> > officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
> > "Officer, it was the strangest
> > thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this
> > road when from out of
> > nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I
> > swerved to the right, and
> > there was another tree! I swerved to the left and
> > there was ANOTHER tree! I
> > swerved to the right and there was another tree! I
> > swerved to the left and
> > there ...." "Uh, ma'am,'the officer said, cutting
> > her off, "There isn't a
> > tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air
> > freshener swinging back
> > and
> > forth."
> >
> > 7th DEGREE: Returning home from work, a blonde was
> > shocked to find her
> > house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the
> > police at once and
> > reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast
> > the call on the
> > channels, and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the
> > first to respond. As the
> > K9 officer approached the house with his dog on a
> > leash, the blonde ran out
> > on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and
> > his dog,and then sat
> > down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
> > she moaned,"I come home to
> > find all my possessions stolen. I call the police
> > for help, and what do they
> > do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
> >
> > 1st DEGREE: A married couple was asleep when the
> > telephone rang at two
> > in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde),
> > picked up the telephone,
> > listened a moment and said, "How should I know,
> > that's 200 miles from here!"
> > and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The
> > wife said, "I don't know;
> > some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
> >
> > 2nd DEGREE: Two blondes are walking down the street.
> > One notices a compact
> > on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She
> > opens it, looks in the
> > mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
> > The second blonde says,
> > "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her
> > the compact. The second
> > one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
> > me!"
> >
> > 3rd DEGREE: A blonde suspects her boyfriend of
> > cheating on her, so she
> > goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
> > unexpectedly and when
> > she opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a
> > redhead. Well, the blonde
> > is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the
> > gun, and as she does
> > so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun
> > and puts it to her head.
> > The boyfriend Yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The
> > blonde replies, "Shut up
> > you're next."
> >
> > 4th DEGREE: A blonde was bragging about her
> > knowledge of state
> > capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I
> > know all of them." A
> > friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
> > The blonde replies, "Oh
> > that's easy: W."
> >
> > 5th DEGREE: What did the blonde ask her doctor when
> > he told her she was
> > pregnant? "Is it mine?"
> >
> > 6th DEGREE: A blonde had just totaled her car in a
> > horrific accident.
> > Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the
> > wreckage without a
> > scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the
> > state trooper arrived. "My
> > Goodness!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like
> > an accordion that was
> > stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Why,
> > yes, officer, I'm just
> > fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world
> > did this happen?" the
> > officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
> > "Officer, it was the strangest
> > thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this
> > road when from out of
> > nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I
> > swerved to the right, and
> > there was another tree! I swerved to the left and
> > there was ANOTHER tree! I
> > swerved to the right and there was another tree! I
> > swerved to the left and
> > there ...." "Uh, ma'am,'the officer said, cutting
> > her off, "There isn't a
> > tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air
> > freshener swinging back
> > and
> > forth."
> >
> > 7th DEGREE: Returning home from work, a blonde was
> > shocked to find her
> > house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the
> > police at once and
> > reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast
> > the call on the
> > channels, and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the
> > first to respond. As the
> > K9 officer approached the house with his dog on a
> > leash, the blonde ran out
> > on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and
> > his dog,and then sat
> > down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
> > she moaned,"I come home to
> > find all my possessions stolen. I call the police
> > for help, and what do they
> > do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
