A story, an outcome, and maybe a change of direction

[woods89]

It's probably happened to every single bowhunter, if they've hunted very long.

I really enjoy bowhunting whitetails. I've had some rodeos but time has brought a lot more consistency. I keep my shots pretty short. Outside of whitetails, I like hunting with a rifle. I feel a fair bit more lethal with one. I did one archery elk trip about 5 years ago, but I've switched to rifle hunting them since, for reasons other than discussed here.

All that to say that I can identify with your feelings. I'd give it a little time. Losing one stings, for sure, but we learn what we can and go on.

And if you are done with archery gear, certainly nothing wrong with that. If any kind of hunting becomes something not enjoyed, then why?

 

[Hem]

The experience will always be in your head, but the trauma will go away.
Been there done that.
Elk are tough, even when mortally hit. Its amazing how far they can travel.
I know a guy that shot a 350"+ bull this year and lost it. Found it a half mile away the next week.

 

[Rzrbck918]

I know thats the worst feeling ever. I haven't been elk hunting enough for it to happen yet to me but I did see a friend lose one two years ago and I still see him walking the area looking for remains every time we are close.

Sorry it didn't go your way.

 

[GrantK]

My wife asked me last night, after hearing me recount the trip to multiple people over the last two days, if I had fun. It wasn't a quick answer. Eventually I said yes, if I try to assess just the trip itself, but that it certainly wasn't fun when you account for all the tangentials that had to go into it, the planning and prep, the forced rucking, the practice, retuning, rebuilding arrows, the having to relive the trip and the failures every time I meet a friend or coworker this week, the money spent, the time spent, and strings pulled at work, all the effort from my wife, from my in-laws, the inability to watch my daughters first x-country races, my son's first soccer games (of the fall). When you pile all that on the scale of life. It doesn't tip to positive.

It's tough to feel good about a trip when things don't work out after putting in the work, and the sacrifices, in the very long run for me that is what makes the eventual success more significant, easy come easy go, things that you don't have to dig deep, work and sacrifice for are just less satisfying... if you decide to get back into it and have success then it will likely be more meaningful having tasted the worst outcome...

At the least, you have all winter to decide, I've had similar thoughts, the intensity fades, even if it probably shouldn't...

I think if most people were being honest they have way more trouble dealing with the excitement than they would admit, some of the stuff I watched when I was guiding elk hunts blew my mind, I think in most cases the cure is just more exposure, easier said than done, for me trying to shoot photos of elk was super helpful, lots of time up close figuring what I could get away with without getting busted, intense enough to get excited and figure out how to deal...

 

[Irrelevant]

I've struggled with this "fever" my entire life, with several regrettable moments to show for it.

Too many of you are putting praise in the wrong place, it shouldn't be my way, my conscious self may say all the right things but my actions inept and unbecoming.

Three of those regrettable moments mentioned above came from my last three elk. I took a regrettable shot after having just been unable to draw my bow (for reasons I'll never know) then rushed a shot once I finally got it back, hit it in the damn guts, thankfully found that bull, but not till the next day, and not without some spoilage. I shot a bull that was quartering away and had my arrow break at the insert upon impact, >2" penetration, bull was gone but thankfully back bugling in a few hundred yards. Then my last bull prior to this year was hit great, as best I and those with me could tell, not a very far shot, elk was not focused on me so he didn't jump, but after shooting, it running off, then waiting 3 hrs before we took up the track, never found any blood, gridded for a day and a half and nothing. That was a dandy bull. I stopped archery hunting for 3 years after those. Only to pick it back up this year. In doing so I attempted to rework my arrow to be more lethal, heavier, single bevel... all for naught.

There's a history and a pattern. Sharp sticks are best wielded by others.

 

[Irrelevant]

for me trying to shoot photos of elk was super helpful, lots of time up close figuring what I could get away with without getting busted, intense enough to get excited and figure out how to deal...

This crossed my mind a lot. I love everything about the act of hunting except the trigger part. We have a prof cam that isn't being used anymore, I might try to take it out a bit and see if I can't put it to some use.

 

[TrumpkinTheDwarf]

@neffa3 I'm going to make a suggestion before you give up on archery. Get in touch with Joel Turner of Shot IQ and talk to him. You don't have a shooting problem, you have a decision making problem that leads to bad shooting. Don't give up on archery just yet.

And get off the narrow single bevel train. Elk need to bleed. A lot. Just my two cents.

 

[Irrelevant]

@neffa3 I'm going to make a suggestion before you give up on archery. Get in touch with Joel Turner of Shot IQ and talk to him. You don't have a shooting problem, you have a decision making problem that leads to bad shooting. Don't give up on archery just yet.

And get off the narrow single bevel train. Elk need to bleed. A lot. Just my two cents.

I just order his book that @JLS mentioned in another thread while I was out.

In terms of the bevel, like I said above, I've had issues with my older montec's and now my cutthroats.

 

[rtraverdavis]

Thank you for sharing this, @neffa3 . Speaking for myself, I think reminders that this is serious business are really important.

Your introspection and humility serve as a reminder to me of a promise I made to myself after the first time I killed a big game animal. I went into that hunt totally unprepared, had an opportunity that I had no business taking, and took it anyway. My poor decision making resulted in me blundering after a wounded, gut-shot deer for the next four hours in the bottom of a canyon choked with sage that reached well above my head. If the deer hadn’t been so young and dumb, I’m sure I never would have found it. When I did, I was shaking so bad I almost couldn’t take the shot that would end that deer’s suffering. Though I was grateful to have found and ended it, I wondered what the hell I was doing and who the hell I thought I was.

In that moment I told myself I’d never hunt again. I’d made an animal unnecessarily suffer because of some weird greed I didn’t even know was inside me. I dragged the little buck to a road where my dad eventually found me. He helped me gut it and later, back at camp, skin it. All the while, he told me hunting stories I’d never heard before (my dad is not a talker) about losing animals and poor decisions and the work he did to get better. Anyway, after seeing this deer that I did such a poor job of killing go from animal to meat, and then later getting to eat that meat with friends and family started to open me up to the idea of hunting again. But I told myself that if I was going to do it, I would have to do everything in my power to ensure a quick, clean kill.

I know now that all kinds of stuff can happen outside of my control, and bad shit does happen. I’ve not gotten to shoot as much as I’d like to this year and will have to be really mindful of that on my elk hunt this November. Your story will help keep me in check, and I thank you for that.

Whatever decision you make is yours. Only you have to live with it.

 

[rwc101]

Maybe I'm just placating my own conscious and possibly ego, but I'm glad that there are those who dwell on our decisions in the field. I hope you don't give up big game hunting because of this.

 

[Irrelevant]

I’d made an animal unnecessarily suffer because of some weird greed I didn’t even know was inside me.

Nailed it. Except I know/knew that gremlin lives between my ears.

 

[TheJason]

@neffa3 I'm going to make a suggestion before you give up on archery. Get in touch with Joel Turner of Shot IQ and talk to him. You don't have a shooting problem, you have a decision making problem that leads to bad shooting. Don't give up on archery just yet.

The book is just as relevant to firearms as it is archery. Might be the ticket for @neffa3 to get started on the road to recovery. It’s not a cure all. One still has to have the mental discipline to execute the perfect shot process.

 

[DFS]

Find a system that works limit your shot distance to point blank. Less emphasis on killing an elk and just enjoy how cool the experience is. Don’t quit archery unless it’s best for you and your family, my 2 worthless cents.

 

[BackofBeyond]

Life lived unexamined is a life half lived. Some smart guy said that, I forget who, and forget exactly what he said.

I had a catholic nun give me the best advice ever about making big decisions - live in it for a bit. Meaning if you want to hang the bow/rifles up, before you go all the way through and sell everything just live in the decision for a bit. Mentally tell yourself that you hunt big game only with a camera. If it feels right, stay that way.

You may not want the praise offered previously, but please accept a friend saying he thinks you’re doing the right thing by participating in some self examination.

 

[Deleted member 40728]

I have often contemplated the entire process as you did when your wife asked if you had fun. the preparation, rucking, exercise to get in shape etc etc. I do enjoy the hunt and having a tag of my own but some of my most memorable trips have been the ones where I was just the caller or scouter/helper. I still got to enjoy the outdoors but didn’t feel any added pressure and was all around enjoyable.
For the time being I’ll continue to try to have my own tag but I could easily just tag along.

I’m sure you have many examples of doing the same thing and can ultimately find ways to still be a part and enjoy the hunt. I definitely appreciate and respect your thoughts on all of this but here’s hoping in time you decide to continue your pursuit and years later you will view this difficult period as just a bad memory that you were able to take something away from.

 

[CoffeeGoat]

Nailed it. Except I know/knew that gremlin lives between my ears.

Be careful with this sentiment. While I think most hunters agree that hunting ethics require us to attempt to minimize the pain caused to an animal we're pursuing, if we're going to hunt at all we must accept we are not fully in control of the situation and we may inadvertently cause harm. Furthermore, nature is not kind, these creatures will die, and likely cold, alone, hungry and likely in pain from injuries or predators. If the Elk in question died quietly later that evening, it was likely a "kinder" death than nature would have supplied though it didn't make it to your freezer.

Please don't think I'm trying to minimize the situation, or the overall weekend, but allow context to inform your thoughts. Running into drunk folks can screw up any camping trip - but camping that time of year in that place is something that likely wouldn't have occurred without a "hunting trip." Try to make sure you're separating the issue from the events.

 

[OntarioHunter]

Back in '77 I tracked a half dozen elk to their beds. I saw a cow standing looking at me and fired. She stepped over the edge of the bench at the same time the place blew up. I shot at a spike running broadside and it appeared I missed. I walked over to check and saw blood in his track. Then I noticed my black Lab looking at something off to my left. Crap! That cow was laying dead! It was late in the afternoon and nothing for it but to grab her by the ears and start dragging down the mountain. Stuffed her in the trunk of my '53 Bel Air and drove home. Next morning my brother and I returned to track the spike. In the night a big cat had followed the drag trail down almost to the road. We stayed on the spike's trail till the snow ran out. He was barely bleeding by then. I felt terrible. The following week I was back up on the same mountain glassing for muleys when I heard a helluva racket in the timber above me. Then a frozen elk came sliding by. A couple of guys had shot it the day before and were sliding it down to the road. It was a spike and we chatted for a while. I told them my story ... then what do I see but this elk had been lightly hit high on right front leg with a piece of brisket shot away. The two guys got quite defensive but I assured them I needed no more elk meat. Just glad I knew the end of the story. Until this year, that's as close as I've come to losing an animal in fifty-six years hunting. Then in August I almost lost a very fine kudu bull in Africa. It took two more days of hard hunting before we got him. And he was not lightly hit. Stupid mistake shooting over a bank. Looking through the scope I assumed the stuff I was shooting over was on the kudu's end but it was on my end. It looked like an easy almost broadside shot into the boiler room. Bullet hit something and went awry. Very weird. Took out his OFFSIDE shoulder. I felt like absolute shit! After the second day chasing that poor bugger in shitty weather I was ready to quit hunting forever. We finally got him the morning of my last day hunting. What a relief! Relieved for the kudu.

 

[Lilhowie83]

My wife asked me last night, after hearing me recount the trip to multiple people over the last two days, if I had fun. It wasn't a quick answer. Eventually I said yes, if I try to assess just the trip itself, but that it certainly wasn't fun when you account for all the tangentials that had to go into it, the planning and prep, the forced rucking, the practice, retuning, rebuilding arrows, the having to relive the trip and the failures every time I meet a friend or coworker this week, the money spent, the time spent, and strings pulled at work, all the effort from my wife, from my in-laws, the inability to watch my daughters first x-country races, my son's first soccer games (of the fall). When you pile all that on the scale of life. It doesn't tip to positive.

I fully respect that perspective. After putting everything on a calender this year my hunting excursions will probably have to slow down over the next couple of years. I have 3 boys playing football a daughter playing volleyball and another playing soccer. It's hard to find time to support them all in that, let alone find time in the woods.

 

[jlong17]

I appreciate your honesty and taking the time to type up your thoughts @neffa3 . I just got back from 10 days and a 100 miles of hiking my bow in Wyoming. I am trying to write my follow up of the trip here on the forum, but I’m at a loss for words. Something about archery hunting brings out the deepest frustration/depression inside me… but it is also capable of the most thrilling highs. I just didn’t get the highs of a successful hunt on this trip. I’m instead left in this weird place of deliberation, much like you’re describing. We all have our reasons why we pick up a bow and chase these wild animals. Maybe revisit those reasons and remind yourself of them? I know that’s what I’ll be doing all week/month/year long…

 

[TrumpkinTheDwarf]

The book is just as relevant to firearms as it is archery. Might be the ticket for @neffa3 to get started on the road to recovery. It’s not a cure all. One still has to have the mental discipline to execute the perfect shot process.

Fully agree! I happen to find the mental discipline an awful lot easier with a rifle than a bow, but Joel Turner is the only reason I can shoot a stick bow with any semblance of accuracy.