yoteler
New member
> > 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
> >
> > 2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
> >
> > 3. Going to a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
> >
> > 4. It isn't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
> >
> > 5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
> >
> > 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
> >
> > 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
> >
> > 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
> >
> > 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
> >
> > 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
> >
> > 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
> >
> > 12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.
> >
> > 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. (Just remember how lucky you were to get a free trip around the sun.)
> >
> > 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
> >
> > 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
> >
> > 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
> >
> > 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
> >
> > 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
> >
> > 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
> >
> > 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
> >
> > 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
> >
> > 22. By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.
> >
> > 23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
> >
> > 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
> >
> > 25. If you must choose between two evils, choose the one that you've never tried before
> >
> > 2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
> >
> > 3. Going to a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
> >
> > 4. It isn't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
> >
> > 5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
> >
> > 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
> >
> > 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
> >
> > 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
> >
> > 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
> >
> > 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
> >
> > 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
> >
> > 12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.
> >
> > 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. (Just remember how lucky you were to get a free trip around the sun.)
> >
> > 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
> >
> > 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
> >
> > 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
> >
> > 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
> >
> > 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
> >
> > 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
> >
> > 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
> >
> > 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
> >
> > 22. By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.
> >
> > 23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
> >
> > 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
> >
> > 25. If you must choose between two evils, choose the one that you've never tried before
