Got a good chuckle at some of these - 
Some I am sure are bs as to who said what... though none the less - good stuff.
" France has neither winter nor summer nor
morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine
country. France has usually been governed by
prostitutes."
--Mark Twain
------------------------------
"I would rather have a German division in front
of me than a French one behind me."
-- General George S. Patton
------------------------------
"Going to war without France is like going deer
hunting without your accordion."
-- General Norman Schwartzkopf
------------------------------
"We can stand here like the French, or we can
do something about it."
-- Marge Simpson
------------------------------
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
--Jacques Chirac , President of France
".....As far as France is concerned, he is right!!"
--Rush Limbaugh
------------------------------
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when
the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
-- Regis Philbin
------------------------------
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an
aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to
dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
--John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona
------------------------------
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof',
it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
-- David Letterman
------------------------------
"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a
Frenchman who lives in Canada ."
--Ted Nugent
------------------------------
"War without France would be like...
World War II."
--Unknown
------------------------------
"The favorite bumper sticker in
Washington D.C. right now is one
that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
-- Tom Brokaw
------------------------------
"What do you expect from a culture and
a nation that exerted more of its national
will fighting against Disney World and
Big Macs than the Nazis?"
--Dennis Miller
------------------------------
"It is important to remember the French
have always been there when they needed us."
-- Alan Kent
-----------------------------
"They've taken their own precautions against
al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each
Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white
flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in
the house."
--Argus Hamilton
------------------------------
"Somebody was telling me about the French
Army rifle being advertised on eBay the other
day --the description was, 'Never shot.
Dropped once.'"
-- Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
-----------------------------
"The French will only agree to go to war
when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq "
--Dennis Miller
------------------------------
Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the
German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
-----------------------------
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to
defend Paris ? It's not known, it's never been tried."
--Rep. R. Blount, MO
------------------------------
"Do you know it only took Germany three days
to conquer France in WWII?
And that's because it was raining."
--John Xereas , Manager, DC Improv
------------------------------
The AP and UPI reported the French Government
announced after the London bombings that it has
raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The
only two higher levels in France are Surrender and
Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated
by a recent fire which destroyed France 's white flag
factory, effectively disabling their military.
--------------------! -------- --
French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris , March 5, 2003
The French Government announced today it is imposing
a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision
comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park,
located just 30 miles outside of Paris , caused the soldiers
at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group
of Czech tourists.
Some I am sure are bs as to who said what... though none the less - good stuff." France has neither winter nor summer nor
morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine
country. France has usually been governed by
prostitutes."
--Mark Twain
------------------------------
"I would rather have a German division in front
of me than a French one behind me."
-- General George S. Patton
------------------------------
"Going to war without France is like going deer
hunting without your accordion."
-- General Norman Schwartzkopf
------------------------------
"We can stand here like the French, or we can
do something about it."
-- Marge Simpson
------------------------------
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
--Jacques Chirac , President of France
".....As far as France is concerned, he is right!!"
--Rush Limbaugh
------------------------------
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when
the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
-- Regis Philbin
------------------------------
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an
aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to
dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
--John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona
------------------------------
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof',
it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
-- David Letterman
------------------------------
"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a
Frenchman who lives in Canada ."
--Ted Nugent
------------------------------
"War without France would be like...
World War II."
--Unknown
------------------------------
"The favorite bumper sticker in
Washington D.C. right now is one
that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
-- Tom Brokaw
------------------------------
"What do you expect from a culture and
a nation that exerted more of its national
will fighting against Disney World and
Big Macs than the Nazis?"
--Dennis Miller
------------------------------
"It is important to remember the French
have always been there when they needed us."
-- Alan Kent
-----------------------------
"They've taken their own precautions against
al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each
Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white
flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in
the house."
--Argus Hamilton
------------------------------
"Somebody was telling me about the French
Army rifle being advertised on eBay the other
day --the description was, 'Never shot.
Dropped once.'"
-- Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
-----------------------------
"The French will only agree to go to war
when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq "
--Dennis Miller
------------------------------
Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the
German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
-----------------------------
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to
defend Paris ? It's not known, it's never been tried."
--Rep. R. Blount, MO
------------------------------
"Do you know it only took Germany three days
to conquer France in WWII?
And that's because it was raining."
--John Xereas , Manager, DC Improv
------------------------------
The AP and UPI reported the French Government
announced after the London bombings that it has
raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The
only two higher levels in France are Surrender and
Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated
by a recent fire which destroyed France 's white flag
factory, effectively disabling their military.
--------------------! -------- --
French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris , March 5, 2003
The French Government announced today it is imposing
a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision
comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park,
located just 30 miles outside of Paris , caused the soldiers
at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group
of Czech tourists.
