Thought this was funny!

Brandenbowhunter

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Aug 12, 2010
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Girlfriend Tech Support E-mail


I am currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been
having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of
...DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the
GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hear
that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode
and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find
the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it
works okay.

Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Fishing 97
program, often trying to abort Fishing 97 with some sort of timing
incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but
I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After
months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had
experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough
cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token
Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it
uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were
supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus
anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while. I
very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI
probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked
okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my
system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still
installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that
automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and
communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal
of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some
problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure
language I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I think there
is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired
functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware,
you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how
GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented."

A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to
GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of
GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year
if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he
had to upgrade to Wife 1.0 which he describes as a huge resource hog.
It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else. One of
the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came
bundled with FreeSexPlus. Well, it turns out the resource allocation
module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus,
particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife
1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do
anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with
MotherInLaw which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off. I
told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try
to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete
MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0
won't install anyway because of insufficient resources.

Any Ideas???
 
There are a few of those programs out there:

-Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began expected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C: \ APOLOGIZE. Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Good luck,

Tech Support
 
FreeSexPlus is false-promise malware that causes the unwary to install Wife 1.0. Don't click on that link.

You need to delete all and reformat your hard drive. This can take a couple weeks and is best done in a tropical resort. Then install mistress-compatible NewGF 1.0 Note: this program can be unstable, so limit the number of add-ons and plugins until you get the hang of it.

If you had previously upgraded to Wife 1.0, you may need professional tech support uninstalling. This can be expensive. These techs generally charge in the range of half your stuff, including termination fees to release Wife 1.0.
 
FreeSexPlus is false-promise malware that causes the unwary to install Wife 1.0. Don't click on that link.

For me, upgrading to Wife 2.0 has been better than Wife 1.0, girlfriend 1.0, 2.0,3.0 and 4.0. Wife 2.0 runs in the background during Baseball v.2011 and all hunting and fishing software applications. Only downfall is Wife 2.0 still doesn't eliminate all DirtyDiaper viruses, so occasionally I have to elimante thoses virus manually.
 

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