The Parrot

[powderburn]

An elderly woman bought a parrot. The woman asked if it would behave
if she took it to church with her on Sundays. The owner said it shouldn't
be a problem and that she could put him on her shoulder and he would
stay there. She bought the parrot and the next week she put him on her shoulder and went off to church. Just as everyone quieted down and the sermon began, the parrot looked around, squawked and said, "It's goddamned cold in here!"
Everyone turned to look at her, she ran out of the church in total
embarrassment! The next day she returned to the pet store and explained
the embarrassing situation to the owner. The owner offered the following solution, "If the parrot does that again, grab him by the legs and swing him around 5 times and return him to your shoulder.
So, the next Sunday she took the parrot to church and, sure enough, just as the sermon started the parrot squawked, "it's goddamned cold in
here!" Without any hesitation, the woman grabbed his legs, swung him
around 5 times and placed him back on her shoulder. The parrot shook
his head, ruffled his feathers and said "Pretty f-------' windy, too."

 

[Quiet_One]

thtas good powder man good find funny to my das dada had parrot this true they were godly people but my dad bein little brat taught parrot some chit well preacher walked in door and it said i htink hey u motherftrucker somethin like that his dad killed that parrot

 

[old-boss-hen]

Powderburn thats a good one. I like that. (LOL)

 

[danr55]

Is this the same parrot??

A burglar was sneaking around inside an upscale home in a Chicago suburb. Suddenly, he heard a voice from seemingly out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you”… the voice said.
Well, the crook was a bit out of sorts with that message and he paused to see if there was anymore. After a few minutes, he determined that there wasn’t any more voices, so he continued his sneak. After about five minutes, the voice came again, “Jesus is watching you!” it said. Well, this about set him off. He charged through the house looking for the source of the voice. When he went into the den, he saw a parrot sitting on a perch watching him. Suddenly, the parrot says, “Jesus is watching you”. Having his mind set at ease, the crook looks at the parrot and says, “…and I suppose you are Jesus?”…

The parrot looks at him and says, “No, I’m Moses”…….

The crook asks, “What kind of an idiot would name a parrot Moses?”.

The parrot smiles (if parrots can smile) and says, “The same kind of idiot that would name a Rottweiler Jesus!”