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Shouldn’t Have Done That

Last October I got a message from my buddy that he'd shot a mt. goat on top of a 13,000'+ peak, and it flopped off the wrong side of the mountain and slid 2,500' down an avalanche chute. I headed up to meet him on the side of the hill the goat slid to, figuring I'd come up from the bottom and give him a ride back around to his truck. The access road looked maybe a little icy but not too bad, so put it in 4Hi as I got onto the dirt road. Just a few seconds up the road I came around a corner and ran into a steep-ish 100yd grade, since I already had some momentum and I was excited to get up there I kept going without taking a good look at it. Halfway up my wheels started spinning on an ice patch and I came to a stop. When I stopped moving forward I stepped on the brake to put it in 4Low, but my truck immediately began to slide backwards down the grade. One side of the road was a 20' drop-off into thick trees, and the other side was a small swale with a 10' berm. My truck was actually starting to quickly accelerate backward toward the turn, and I realized the whole road was a sheen of hard ice under 1/4" of snow. With no way to stop sliding I jammed the wheel to the right to swing the back end into the swale and poke my trailer hitch into the berm. For a second I thought it was over, but the front end kept coming around and I did a full 180 in my Tundra on a 1-lane road forest road! Since I was now facing downhill I steered the front toward the swale and put both driver's side wheels in it and was able to roll it out back to to the bottom of the hill, severely puckered! On the bright side though, with my adrenaline at a high after near disaster, I was able to crush the hike up to where my buddy was with his goat and help him out...
 
The first seven or eight years I worked for the Forest Service I worked with a guy named Clyde. He told me that the government gave us a 4 wheel drive truck with a wench, two sets of chains, a high lift jack, tow chains and a block and tackle with extra cables. So they must intend for us to use them. Those were fun times trying to find new and creative ways to get un-stuck.

The best stuck I ever got though, was in the army. I was in a Lance missile unit in Germany as an artillery surveyor. When ever we went out on maneuvers we surveyors went out first to establish firing points and usually didn’t join up with the battery for a couple of days. Normally the three lieutenants in charge of the missile launchers would locate the position for the firing points but this day it was the battery commander doing it. Cpt. Vance. There are too many reasons to go into but Vance hated us surveyors. Those were his own words, he hated us. He radioed a location for us to go to but as we were getting close we saw that one road we needed looked a little sketchy. So we called the Cpt. Who insisted he just drove that road and it was fine. We new that was a lie because there were now tracks in the mud but we put the jeep and the 5/4 truck I was driving into 4 wheel drive and started slipping and sliding along the road. Suddenly the left side of the jeep dropped to the ground. Before I could stop the left side of our truck dropped to the ground in the soft mud. We were stuck and stuck good and for some reason we had lost radio contact. Luckily, there was a farmer working a nearby field with an old, 30s or 40s bulldozer converted to a farm tractor. He was more than happy to help and pulled the jeep right out. We told him that was enough and we would get help for our selves but he insisted on going after the truck. As he went in the side of the tractor sunk in the mud leaving him sitting there in one spot spinning his tracks until one of them came off. Now we had a truck and a tractor stuck but the jeep was free to go for help. They came back with the auto maintenance guys and their 5 ton truck. They pulled out their wench cable and pulled the tractor right out. The cable wouldn’t reach our truck so they stated in to get closer and of course they dropped into the mud like everyone else and couldn’t move. So they called for another 5 ton who hooked their cable to the back of the first and started pulling. Nothing budged until the cable snapped. With good fortune no one was hurt since by then there was probably 15 military and 30 locals standing around enjoying the show. It was time to break out the big guns. A tank retriever from a nearby armor unit. This of course required a lot of brass getting involved so soon the battalion commander was on site with several other high ranking folks. The Colonel liked Ct. Vance about as much as Vance liked us so there were some pretty good fireworks especially when we let the colonel know it was Vance who told us to use that road. Well the tank retriever arrived. It was a monster of a machine with 4 foot wide tracks, wenches front and back and a heavy duty boom. They hooked their 2 inch wench cable to the 5 ton and drug it right out plowing up the top couple of feet of the road as it went. They couldn’t reach our truck so they started in. Like everyone else they sunk but kept right on slowly coming. That is when we saw the problem. The phone company had recently buried a phone cable under the road leaving the road soft and muddy. We knew this because the cable was now being piled up behind the tank retriever as it churned up the road. They finally reached our truck and pulled it out enough for us to drive off road and get around the tank retriever that was by now completely stuck. Buy now everyone within 10 miles was there drinking beer and enjoying the show. The guys in the tank retriever were not about to admit they were stuck so they pulled out the rear wench cable and wrapped it around a 4 ft. diameter tree and started pulling. They slowly moved maybe ten feet before the tree came right out of the ground, crashing down barely missing some of the bystanders. That worked well enough that they did it again and again pulling one tree out of the ground after another until the they were free. Leaving a muddy mess where there had once been a road and a telephone cable and pile of downed trees where there had been a forest.

I always wondered what that ended up costing the army.
 
Echoing the gradual 'wussification' of my personal risk assessment over the years. Doesn't take much more than the tires sliding sideways towards a big drop-off once or twice to check the ego and turn around these days.

This fall I was driving to a deer spot east of Bozeman. There wasn't any new snow, but locals will appreciate that the wind around here is insane. I powered through a couple of drifts, but the next one I hit gave me the dreaded sideways slide, and then stuck. Let me just say that reversing down a steep windy drifted forest service road a good half mile before I had a safe turnaround was not my idea of fun.

Be safe out there folks!
 
Last year I was driving through the Bighorns. A bit of rain on the east side turning to snow as I got to the top. Hardly memorable at first. The snow kept getting heavier but the blowing was really increasing. Decided to take 14A down. I remember seeing hunters heading out of the mountains in the opposite direction. I started to consider going back down but my truck was handling it fine as I was taking it slow (it was the blowing more so than the road condition) so I kept going.

I remember slowly coming around a bend and realizing I couldn't see anything anymore. It was a whiteout in every sense of the word. It was like holding a giant sheet of printer paper in front of your face. Couldn't tell where the road surface ended and the air above it started. Easily one of the most disorienting (and disconcerting) things I've encountered. I knew there was an embankment on my left because there had been one a hundred yards back. I had to get out and physically feel for the road edges. Not that it did any good as I couldn't see my tracks from the truck anyway. I ended up executing an Austin Powers-esque 28 point turn and headed back. I've slid down hills into trees and whatnot before and this was just as pucker inducing as I had plenty of time to contemplate worst case scenarios.
 
On my way to the Gila in New Mexico this past October, my map app took me to the trail-head a different direction from what our drop-camp outfitter suggested I go. It showed to save me about an hour, so I took it. BAD idea. I almost didn't make it to the trail head and in fact when I drove up, those already there looked at me really weird. After introductions and such they asked me if I knew that road was closed and had been washed out for some time now. The outfitter said he hasn't been down that road in years.
 
The first seven or eight years I worked for the Forest Service I worked with a guy named Clyde. He told me that the government gave us a 4 wheel drive truck with a wench, two sets of chains, a high lift jack, tow chains and a block and tackle with extra cables. So they must intend for us to use them. Those were fun times trying to find new and creative ways to get un-stuck.

The best stuck I ever got though, was in the army. I was in a Lance missile unit in Germany as an artillery surveyor. When ever we went out on maneuvers we surveyors went out first to establish firing points and usually didn’t join up with the battery for a couple of days. Normally the three lieutenants in charge of the missile launchers would locate the position for the firing points but this day it was the battery commander doing it. Cpt. Vance. There are too many reasons to go into but Vance hated us surveyors. Those were his own words, he hated us. He radioed a location for us to go to but as we were getting close we saw that one road we needed looked a little sketchy. So we called the Cpt. Who insisted he just drove that road and it was fine. We new that was a lie because there were now tracks in the mud but we put the jeep and the 5/4 truck I was driving into 4 wheel drive and started slipping and sliding along the road. Suddenly the left side of the jeep dropped to the ground. Before I could stop the left side of our truck dropped to the ground in the soft mud. We were stuck and stuck good and for some reason we had lost radio contact. Luckily, there was a farmer working a nearby field with an old, 30s or 40s bulldozer converted to a farm tractor. He was more than happy to help and pulled the jeep right out. We told him that was enough and we would get help for our selves but he insisted on going after the truck. As he went in the side of the tractor sunk in the mud leaving him sitting there in one spot spinning his tracks until one of them came off. Now we had a truck and a tractor stuck but the jeep was free to go for help. They came back with the auto maintenance guys and their 5 ton truck. They pulled out their wench cable and pulled the tractor right out. The cable wouldn’t reach our truck so they stated in to get closer and of course they dropped into the mud like everyone else and couldn’t move. So they called for another 5 ton who hooked their cable to the back of the first and started pulling. Nothing budged until the cable snapped. With good fortune no one was hurt since by then there was probably 15 military and 30 locals standing around enjoying the show. It was time to break out the big guns. A tank retriever from a nearby armor unit. This of course required a lot of brass getting involved so soon the battalion commander was on site with several other high ranking folks. The Colonel liked Ct. Vance about as much as Vance liked us so there were some pretty good fireworks especially when we let the colonel know it was Vance who told us to use that road. Well the tank retriever arrived. It was a monster of a machine with 4 foot wide tracks, wenches front and back and a heavy duty boom. They hooked their 2 inch wench cable to the 5 ton and drug it right out plowing up the top couple of feet of the road as it went. They couldn’t reach our truck so they started in. Like everyone else they sunk but kept right on slowly coming. That is when we saw the problem. The phone company had recently buried a phone cable under the road leaving the road soft and muddy. We knew this because the cable was now being piled up behind the tank retriever as it churned up the road. They finally reached our truck and pulled it out enough for us to drive off road and get around the tank retriever that was by now completely stuck. Buy now everyone within 10 miles was there drinking beer and enjoying the show. The guys in the tank retriever were not about to admit they were stuck so they pulled out the rear wench cable and wrapped it around a 4 ft. diameter tree and started pulling. They slowly moved maybe ten feet before the tree came right out of the ground, crashing down barely missing some of the bystanders. That worked well enough that they did it again and again pulling one tree out of the ground after another until the they were free. Leaving a muddy mess where there had once been a road and a telephone cable and pile of downed trees where there had been a forest.

I always wondered what that ended up costing the army.

That is so awesome! Being an ex-tank driver!
Matt
 
Great stories. I can only imagine the kind of situations Mr @Bigfin has been in with as much mountain driving he has done.
 
I've gotten into these situations so many times my wife nicknamed me "I think we can make it". I was thinking about getting t-shirts made with that quote.
 
I wish I had a picture of it, but when I was in highschool I had an old 2wd F150, in North Dakota.... Anyways it was February after a huge snowstorm my neighbor and I decide to go look for Coyotes. On our way back the heavy snow sucked me in towards a steep ditch at the end of a field, next thing I know snow is up to the headlights and I'm spinning. Snow was so deep I couldn't open the door and had to crawl out the window.It was -10* and I had no cellphone. Thankfully my friend knew someone close by and we were able to call my dad and after about an hour of digging and pulling we got out. Definitely not fun
 
Christmas Eve day, 2015. My father in law wanted to plow a trail on his lake so we could take the ice house out. The entire family told him it’s waaaay too early to drive on the ice. He makes some smarta$$ comment about always being the first one to drive on the lakes while he was growing up. After lunch, he is hell bent on trying it. My mother in law tells me to stop him, but there was no turning back...so what to I do, I hop on the snowmobile and get out there and video him. If I could figure out how to load the video I would. He drives out towards the ice house destination and I can feel the ice heave as he is coming near me...I immediately say “oh sh!t, it’s popping pretty good”...he laughs and makes some comment about going back to the Mall of America. As he turns around and plows back towards the shoreline, the ice blows out in front of him and in he goes. Thank goodness he was close enough to shore that he didn’t sink the entire vehicle. Have any of you ever tried to pull a vehicle out of a lake that had a plow on the front of it?? After numerous f bombs, scoldings from his daughters and wife, and an I told you so from his son in law, his Amish neighbors show up with a team of horses, snatch blocks, ropes, and a ton of man power....an Xmas miracle....lol

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The monday after rifle opener this year, I was only about half way up the same mountain road. All 4 chains on after getting stuck without them on in the previous drift. Thinking of MTMuley's comment somewhere on here about putting the chains on b4 you need them. I hit the next drift at about 30 mph. Carried abt 40 yards b4 plowing to a stop.
While I shoveled for the next half hour, I kept thinking abt someone elses comment on this forum that "momentum is your friend".
Yeah, I got your momentum.
 
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Different continent, similar circumstances with a twist......

Mrs kansasdad and I were in Kenya's Abedares National Park






and I was excited to show off more of my heart country to my wife.

I remember going trout fishing in one of the many streams in the park when I was a boy living in Kenya, but having to exit the river to yield to a rhino let you know you were not fishing in the Bighorns. We also learned to ask at the game ranger station if the local lion pride had been harassing any fisherman in hopes that the fisherman would drop their sack lunches in their haste to escape.

Mrs K and I had gone into the park going in the "back way". We woke up the Game Ranger manning that entrance that almost nobody uses, as it approaches the park from the Rift Valley side, and there are not hotels at the base of the mountain range on that side. We had continued on exploring the park, seeing all sorts of mountain elephants, cape buffalo, waterbuck, bushbuck, various monkeys and of course hoped for a miracle to catch a bongo out in the open. The day was overcast and chilly, with muddy roads the norm. As the afternoon wore on, we knew that the park gates were locked at sunset, so we headed towards the main gate. The Game Ranger there was quite surprised to see us as he knew that we hadn't come in through his gate, and as we left, he alerted us to the fact that the area pride of lions had just been seen walking down the road we were soon to be traveling on to get to Nyeri town and our hotel for the night.

Driving in 4 wheel drive throughout the park, there had been a few slippery spots, but nothing too outlandish. Leaving the park and dropping in elevation, the road was much more churned up from tourist vans and lorries (African version of heavy hauling trucks), but generally not too tricky of a drive. As we continued down the forested road, it seemed to be fairly easy going as the slope of the mountainside and the ditches kept the water off the road and in the barrow alongside. Until we came to the first flat spot in the road about 2 kilometers from the park gate (and the last sighting of the pride of lions, although I had seen lion footprints for most of our descent). Stretching out for about 100 yards was a flat swampland with multiple tracks running parallel to the main road, each track weaving back and forth trying to stay on the tops of little undulations, and avoiding sinkholes and major potholes found scattered across this gooey mess of roadways.

Stopping the little Suzuki Samurai rental, I scanned the surrounding forest and swampland for enough time that Mrs kansasdad asked me what I was doing. I replied that I was first scanning the near terrain for any sign of the lions, elephants or other creatures as I was planning on getting out of the car and walking out into the swamp to plan the best route through to the other end of the swamp and "normal" road again.

Finding out that river left was the best way to go for the first 50 yards, then taking a quick right to the "regular" road, and then slipping off into river right to finish the traverse, I walked back to the SUV. Making sure we were in 4-low, I backed up the hill to get some rolling momentum, and put the plan into action. Now these many years later, I imagine that little Suzuki throwing mud 10 feet high as I followed my desired path across the entire length of the swamp section of the road. The light rear end of the Suzuki tried to fishtail out several times, and we fell down into a bit of a sippy hole about half way, but made it to the other side. Stopping on high and dry ground, I rolled to a stop, and put the car in neutral and just sat there for a bit.

"What are you doing now?" she asked.

"Saying a prayer of thanks", I replied.
 
We have been having very icy mornings because of condensation on the road. As a result, on Monday morning some guy parked his Dodge Ram in the north end of my oxbow. Took some work to yank him back up the bank to and onto the county highway again. Fortunately, he didn't get deep and probably had no damage other than to his ego. It was a good caution for the rest of us though. That ice wasn't expected.
 
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