New! California Barbies!

[Calif. Hunter]

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Southern
California dolls for the Southern California market:

Irvine Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at The Irvine Spectrum. She comes with An
assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Tustin Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time
occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold
separately.

Van Nuys Barbie
This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm
handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a methlab
kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in
cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we
don't know what you are talking about.

Santa Monica Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School
Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Fontana Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six
pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over five
feet and kick mullet haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her
pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
absolutely free.

Newport Beach Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription available.

Riverside Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own high
heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer Gut Ken
out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low rise acid washed
jeans, fake fingernails and a see through halter top. Also available with a
mobile home.

Laguna Beach Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks.
She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken
doll but you if purchase two Laguna Beach Barbies and the optional Subaru
wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Long Beach Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories
include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Rancho Santa Margarita Barbie
She is perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he is always
away hunting.

City of Industry Barbie
This Spanish speaking only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired
temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat but no car seats.
The optional Ken doll comes with a meat packer's uniform and is missing
three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for City of
Industry Barbie or Ken.

West Hollywood Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding or subtracting the multiple "snap on" parts.


God, I love my state!

 

[Elkhunter]

LOL Cali

I think The Stepford Barbi would be a good hit.

 

[RogueWarrior1957]

Whatever happened to "Trophy Wife Barbie?" You know the one...she comes with her own Remington BDL 30-06 rifle, tent, binoculars, digital cam with long telephoto lens, 1986 Grand Wagoneer (with off road suspension), and all camo apparel. She considers LL Bean and Cabela's to be her favorite stores/catalogs.

She knows every hunting spot and every game trail. She is a crack shot with her rifle. While "Redneck Construction Worker Ken" is out making a living, she is scouting potential good hunting areas so she can guide for Ken and their best friends Alan & Midge on weekends. She can field-dress a buck or elk in record time and look like a million bucks while doing it. Not one sun-bleached blonde hair out of place!

Also comes with optional beer cooler, and hunting maps. Alan and Midge dolls sold separately, but come with rock-crawler CJ-5.

Err...were we talking about Barbie, or my dream of the perfect woman? LOL

-RW-

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ 01-12-2004 20:56: Message edited by: RogueWarrior1957 ]</font>

 

[beardown]

Can I get the hunting Barbie with a 300winmag and a russian accent?........eeeerrrrr I guess they dont talk....hey come to think about it thats even better!

 

[Mojave]

Here's one for our neck of the woods...

Mormon Barbie
> > > >
> > > >In celebration of Barbie's 40th birthday, Mattel has
> > > >created a Mormon Barbie for the folks in Utah. The most
> > > >popular, Celestial Barbie, comes with 8 children. She
> > > >wears a mid-calf flower print Laura Ashley dress with
> > > >conservative flats (no heels), a bow in her flowing
> > > >shoulder-length hair, with puffy bangs.
> > > >
> > > >Barbie wears a permanent smile and comes with her own
> > > >bread making machine, store of wheat, list of ways to
> > > >feed a family of 10 on less than $100 a week, casserole
> > > >recipes, and year's supply of green Jell-O with shredded carrot.
> > > >
> > > >Also available: MAV (Dodge/Ford/Nissan/whatever mini-van,
> > > >otherwise known as a Mormon Assault Vehicle). When you pull the
> > > >cord in her back she sheds real tears and says, "You have such
> > > >a special spirit, Sister. Appreciate ya very much. Love ya."
> > > >Occasionally you can find one that says *"Oh, my heck!" but this
> > > >is a manufacturer's defect and is very rare. Celestial Barbie
> > > >would never say "heck."
> > > >
> > > >You can buy a Celestial Ken to go with Celestial Barbie, but he's
> > > >hard to find. (He's always off fulfilling some priesthood calling,
> > > >so he's rarely home.)
> > > >
> > > >Other Special LDS Barbies include:
> > > >
> > > >Return Missionary Barbie-This somewhat dumpy Barbie comes with your
>
> > > >choice of a BYU or Ricks College sweatshirt and mini-computer. She
> > > >bears her testimony in a foreign language.
> > > >
> > > >Homemaking Leader Barbie-comes with a wide assortment of miniature
> > > >baking, sewing, and craft supplies.
> > > >
> > > >Primary President Barbie-Not very popular, since this one has no
>hair.
> > > >(It has all been pulled out). Pull her cord and she sings "Popcorn
> > > >Popping on the Apricot Tree," "Give, Said the Little Stream,"
> > > >and folds her arms to remind everyone to be reverent.
> > > >
> > > >Organist Barbie-Has rimmed glasses and comes with her very own
> > > >spiral-bound
> > > >hymnal. Sits only, in position to play, with arms bent and fingers
> > > >extended. An Organ and Piano are also available.
> > > >
> > > >Visiting Teaching Barbies-Sold in sets of two, this is a true
> > > >collector's
> > > >item as each set has its own recorded message. Comes with supply of
>
> > > >message
> > > >handouts and plates of birthday and Christmas cookies.
> > > >
> > > >Salt Lake Leader Barbie-White hair in a hurricane do! Also
>available:
> > > >Priesthood leader husband Ken who sits permanently asleep on the
>stand.
> > > >Eyes do not open. Snores. Batteries required.
> > > >
> > > >On special order, there is the 40+ Ken - Dumps the 40+ Barbie and
>the
> > > >12 kids in favor of a 15+ Barbie, there is also the Polygamist Ken
>-
> > > >Comes
> > > >with 5 Barbies, 29 kids, and a special little "Ken jail".
> > > >
> > > >You only get to keep 90% of the stuff that comes with these dolls,
>the other 10% has to be sent to the church.