Ithaca 37
New member
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
>Smart man + smart woman = romance
>Smart man + dumb woman = affair
>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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>
>OFFICE ARITHMETIC
>Smart boss + smart employee = profit
>Smart boss + dumb employee = production
>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
>
>
>SHOPPING MATH
>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
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>GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS
>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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>
>HAPPINESS
>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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>
>LONGEVITY
>Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
>A woman has the last word in any argument.
>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
>
>
>SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
>
>Smart man + smart woman = romance
>Smart man + dumb woman = affair
>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
>
>
>OFFICE ARITHMETIC
>Smart boss + smart employee = profit
>Smart boss + dumb employee = production
>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
>
>
>SHOPPING MATH
>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
>
>
>GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS
>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
>
>HAPPINESS
>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
>
>
>LONGEVITY
>Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
>
>
>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
>
>
>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
>A woman has the last word in any argument.
>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
>
>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
>
>
>SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
>
