So I have been a dedicated fly angler for about 30 years or so. Recently, I've gotten into bass fishing with gear, and as an intellectually curious young man, I watch a lot of bass fishing tutorials on Youtube. Some of them are great and there's a few that are passable if you fast forward them through the 10 minutes of self-aggrandizement that has absolutely zero redeeming qualities. Cletus, I don't care about you, I just want to see how you rig a drop shot.
Here's my Malarkey list for Bass fishing youtube people:
1.) "Hey Everybody, what is up." This is the Bass fishing video equivalent of every drunk asshat in the 1990's saying "Wazzzup!" Stop it. Your conversational skills are weak at best and nobody actually thinks you're that cool despite your beard being your personality. It's Malarkey.
2.) You literally cannot smash a like or subscribe button. If you did that, you would end up with a broken screen. It's bass fishing, not actual physical activity and it's Malarkey.
3.) Way too much arm movement. You look like a turkey poult trying to figure out what the appendages do. I realize you think Fred Durst is still a thing, but it's not - it's Malarkey.
4.) Your garage looks like a sportsman's warehouse. I don't know why you feel the need to house 17 cases of plastics on a pegboard, but here you are, all of you, in the exact same set up sitting in a boat in your garage talking about smashing that like button. Stop the Malarkey.
5.) I think 90% of these bromigos go to a special dictation school so they can talk in a syrupy southern accent. Nobody needs to hear your inbrededness, Cletus. Enunciate so I can find out how long a leader I need for a Carolina rig. That's why I'm here, not for your nasal Malarkey.
6.) Seriously guys, ears go outside of your cap. Malarkey.
7.) If Sitka made bass fishing camo, they'd triple their market share. Just make it neon so everyone can see your Malarkey from 600 yards away.
8.) If you are complaining about a $12 bait being in your subscription box because it's new old stock, you might want to rethink the things that trigger your bro-rage, because that's Malarkey.
9.) Jimmy Houston is the fishing equivalent to this guy:
Here's my Malarkey list for Bass fishing youtube people:
1.) "Hey Everybody, what is up." This is the Bass fishing video equivalent of every drunk asshat in the 1990's saying "Wazzzup!" Stop it. Your conversational skills are weak at best and nobody actually thinks you're that cool despite your beard being your personality. It's Malarkey.
2.) You literally cannot smash a like or subscribe button. If you did that, you would end up with a broken screen. It's bass fishing, not actual physical activity and it's Malarkey.
3.) Way too much arm movement. You look like a turkey poult trying to figure out what the appendages do. I realize you think Fred Durst is still a thing, but it's not - it's Malarkey.
4.) Your garage looks like a sportsman's warehouse. I don't know why you feel the need to house 17 cases of plastics on a pegboard, but here you are, all of you, in the exact same set up sitting in a boat in your garage talking about smashing that like button. Stop the Malarkey.
5.) I think 90% of these bromigos go to a special dictation school so they can talk in a syrupy southern accent. Nobody needs to hear your inbrededness, Cletus. Enunciate so I can find out how long a leader I need for a Carolina rig. That's why I'm here, not for your nasal Malarkey.
6.) Seriously guys, ears go outside of your cap. Malarkey.
7.) If Sitka made bass fishing camo, they'd triple their market share. Just make it neon so everyone can see your Malarkey from 600 yards away.
8.) If you are complaining about a $12 bait being in your subscription box because it's new old stock, you might want to rethink the things that trigger your bro-rage, because that's Malarkey.
9.) Jimmy Houston is the fishing equivalent to this guy:
