Ithaca 37
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Teenage sex:
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter
was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the
family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He
then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth
control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the
woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
Church:
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the
preacher's hand. He said "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a
damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use
profanity."
The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put
five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The preacher said, "No shit?"
Pancakes:
Brenda and Del took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little
angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his
rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just
feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a
large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter
was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the
family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He
then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth
control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the
woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
Church:
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the
preacher's hand. He said "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a
damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use
profanity."
The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put
five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The preacher said, "No shit?"
Pancakes:
Brenda and Del took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little
angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his
rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just
feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a
large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."
