Jacoby Leandro Schmoodle is a coward

I’m jealous of those cabinets too! I’m a cabinet guy and oversee the distribution of 12 - 15k house packages of cabinets/year. I’ve sent that pic of those wicked awesome cabinets to a bunch of major manufacturers and no one will make them! I keep telling them I can move them, but no takers. I guess mine will have to be custom made…
 
Can we please make Schmoodle a verb? Like “he stalked all the way in and Schmoodled it at the end.” Kinda like a Munson, but different.
Grilled bratwurst for dinner tonight. My son couldn’t finish his, and told me I could have the last bite of his brat. I reach over to take it, and he says nevermind and pops it in his mouth. I just shook my head and called him a Schmoodle.
 
It has been nearly a month—a month!—since Schmoodle (known on this forum as @JLS) promised me some vampire-red cabinetry, countertop, and sink, and I have still yet to see a single item. Why are you hiding that kitchen set, Jacoby? Why have you not made good on your promise? What are you scared of?

Is it just that you are selfish—holding your own sacrificial ceremonies amid those gorgeous bloodstained cabinets, arranged in Stonehenge fashion under the moonlight in some far off clearing in the forest? Or are you lazy, unwilling to take the time out of your schedule to install those cabinets despite the promise of an open invitation to any and all of my adults-only parties? Or are you just plain scared of my parties? As I informed you, most of the blood will be fake, Jacoby. Most of it.

So what’s the delay? The world is waiting…

He's probably busy re-listening to all the old Hunt Talk podcasts in the dark while eating fancy french cheeses on Ritz crackers and swilling it down with a room temp Bud Light...
 
I showed those cabinets to my b.i.l. who is in the middle of a full kitchen renovation. He had just spent $22k on cabinets. After seeing those classy vampire themed ones, he was filled with buyer's remorse. I immediately contacted Jacoby to see if we could work something out. He offered them for a fair price and free shipping to Alaska!, which I found extremely strange, but then he started asking for cheese pics, feet pics, and other things I can't mention, and then said he only took Zelle. That's when I knew I was about to be Schmoodled and said no thank you to him and his freaky fetish issues. No cabinets are worth that. Not even those. Can't fool me, Cabinet Man!

 
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