The Viperess
New member
Thought I'd share this with y'all - Good for a laugh (or two)-
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along
the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that
you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah,
wide
loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair one with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with
natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red
and raw.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair (take at least 15 minutes as you must make sure
that it has all come off).
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it
waxed instead.
Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold
spots
with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country.
Wrap
hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with
nails/tweezers if found.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see
your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to the
bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.
---------------------------------
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake
wiener
at her making the "woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if
you
have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your
"privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
Get in the shower. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use
one).
Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
Wash your privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving hair on
the soap bar.
Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). Make a shampoo Mohawk, pull
back
shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
Pee (in the shower).
Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor
because you left the curtain hanging our of the tub the whole time.
Partially dry off.
Look ar yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom fan
and light on.
Leave bathroom with towel wrapped around waist. If you pass your wife,
pull
off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at
her.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Take two minutes to get dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along
the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that
you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah,
wide
loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair one with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with
natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red
and raw.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair (take at least 15 minutes as you must make sure
that it has all come off).
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it
waxed instead.
Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold
spots
with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country.
Wrap
hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with
nails/tweezers if found.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see
your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to the
bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.
---------------------------------
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake
wiener
at her making the "woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if
you
have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your
"privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
Get in the shower. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use
one).
Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
Wash your privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving hair on
the soap bar.
Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). Make a shampoo Mohawk, pull
back
shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
Pee (in the shower).
Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor
because you left the curtain hanging our of the tub the whole time.
Partially dry off.
Look ar yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom fan
and light on.
Leave bathroom with towel wrapped around waist. If you pass your wife,
pull
off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at
her.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Take two minutes to get dressed.
