How to say goodbye...

[Deleted member 52098]

It pains me to even write this, but after 13 amazing years with my beloved Annabella, I have to say goodbye this Friday morning. As much as this hurts me to do, I know it's the right time and what is best for her. As hard of a time as I am having, I am really scared of the impact this will have on our 8 year old daughter. These two have imprinted on each other and I am convinced she only hung on in the last few years because of our daughter. She saves all her energy for her.

In light of having 2.5 days to spoil the hell out of her, I was wondering if anyone had any advice or lessons learned from their experience of saying goodbye that they'd like to share - especially if you have young kids. my daughter is being extremely pragmatic, but we all know that can be a shield against real feelings. So if you have any advice or things you wished you would have done differently before you said goodbye, would be good to hear them. Because at this point, I am overwhelmed with emotions and definitely not thinking all that clearly about her last days. Other than getting her burgers, steaks, etc.

 

[elkduds]

So sorry to hear this. The best decision I made was switching to at home euthanization.

 

[noharleyyet]

Ah man, I feel for ya...

 

[Birdbander]

It's just the worst damn thing that's required of a dog owner. It sucks. Stay with your Annabella through the very end, it eases her anxiety. The last feeling she'll know is your loving touch.
Be honest with your daughter about the whole thing, age appropriate of course and let her express herself. Shared grief is easier to process, don't suppress your feelings. Take that day off if you can.

 

[SFC B]

The fact that your daughter has time to process a goodbye will help some. I lost my first dog when i was 12 and she had been with me my entire life. From my parent divorce, moves to strange towns, a lot of heartache. Mom and step-POS took her to the vet because she was having a hard time with stairs and incontinence. She never came home and I was NOT ready or prepared in any way. I would have loved to have time to love on and thank her for what she gave me.

 

[pabearhunter]

I have been though a couple and they don't get any easier. All I can say is try and remember the good times and that you are doing the best for her. In a couple days or weeks take your daughter puppy hunting. Sorry for your loss.

 

[morley.tyler]

Take her to her favorite swimming spot (She's a lab) if it's not too snowed out or iced over.

Hang in there and get a puppy asap.

 

[Addicting]

Just went thru this last week. Discuss it ahead of time with them. Kids process it and prepare themselves. Cremation works well as there is less shock to the kids. You leave the dog and a few days later pick up a box with a card from the staff.

Pick out a tree to plant this spring. Put her ashes and collar in the hole. Gives the kids another purpose to work on. Also her body will provide and feed life once again. Kids have a place to go and remember when outside playing.

That is what works for us. We have done it twice now. After a few days all is good and they get caught back up into daily life.

 

[Deleted member 52098]

we are taking the little one of out school Thursday to give AB a day of awesomeness, including swimming. Hoping to find something down by Denver where she can get some laps in.

We are planning on having her cremated and spreading her ashes in the backyard where we got married, the little one is hoping to plant a new tree for her, and we'll spread the rest of her ashes at her favorite hike up in the mountains where it will flow from a high alpine lake down all the way to Denver.

 

[marshman]

It pains me to even write this, but after 13 amazing years with my beloved Annabella, I have to say goodbye this Friday morning. As much as this hurts me to do, I know it's the right time and what is best for her. As hard of a time as I am having, I am really scared of the impact this will have on our 8 year old daughter. These two have imprinted on each other and I am convinced she only hung on in the last few years because of our daughter. She saves all her energy for her.

In light of having 2.5 days to spoil the hell out of her, I was wondering if anyone had any advice or lessons learned from their experience of saying goodbye that they'd like to share - especially if you have young kids. my daughter is being extremely pragmatic, but we all know that can be a shield against real feelings. So if you have any advice or things you wished you would have done differently before you said goodbye, would be good to hear them. Because at this point, I am overwhelmed with emotions and definitely not thinking all that clearly about her last days. Other than getting her burgers, steaks, etc.

View attachment 268461

I have posted this here before, again for you and your daughter;
Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love, they depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog; it merely expands your heart. If you have loved many dogs your heart is very big.

 

[marshman]

So sorry to hear this. The best decision I made was switching to at home euthanization.

For years I did this deed myself, telling myself that my buddies deserved it from me after all of our years together. Not any longer just too much heartache. I have now done this also, twice now. It helps a lot for me.

 

[Redmt]

I've been through it with both of my kids and their dogs, as well as some family pets. If the vet will allow it have your daughter experience it to the very end. Helping a pet with comfort and love somehow makes the end of life easier to understand and accept.

 

[Deleted member 52098]

For years I did this deed myself, telling myself that my buddies deserved it from me after all of our years together. Not any longer just too much heartache. I have now done this also, twice now. It helps a lot for me.

So we've been back and forth on this, but ultimately decided to do it at the vet for a few reasons. First, my daughters ultimately vetoed it, saying she didn't want to constantly have to walk by where AB died. Second, AB loves the vet, always has, so we wanted it to be a place she loves going to. Third, my vet has been with AB forever and AB loves her, so I wanted the last people around her to be people she knew and loved and loved her (and not a random individual)

We will allow my daughter to be in there until the very end, if she chooses to.

 

[MaddH]

I would recommend laying beside her or holding her close to comfort Her. They want you close by. So sorry you have to go through this , but the love you had from her is inmeasurable.

 

[Addicting]

If you haven’t done it before, it is a lot of ashes. Maybe 5lbs worth and it doesn’t blend in well if you spread it. If in the yard where people frequent, bury it under the sod.

 

[BoomerUSAF]

It pains me to even write this, but after 13 amazing years with my beloved Annabella, I have to say goodbye this Friday morning. As much as this hurts me to do, I know it's the right time and what is best for her. As hard of a time as I am having, I am really scared of the impact this will have on our 8 year old daughter. These two have imprinted on each other and I am convinced she only hung on in the last few years because of our daughter. She saves all her energy for her.

In light of having 2.5 days to spoil the hell out of her, I was wondering if anyone had any advice or lessons learned from their experience of saying goodbye that they'd like to share - especially if you have young kids. my daughter is being extremely pragmatic, but we all know that can be a shield against real feelings. So if you have any advice or things you wished you would have done differently before you said goodbye, would be good to hear them. Because at this point, I am overwhelmed with emotions and definitely not thinking all that clearly about her last days. Other than getting her burgers, steaks, etc.

View attachment 268461

I’m sorry to hear this. It’s the fire we openly welcome in our lives? Knowing it’ll burn us one day! On to the positive, think and focus on the great and positive life and love you gave her! Try to see the positive

 

[Dave N]

I would recommend laying beside her or holding her close to comfort Her. They want you close by. So sorry you have to go through this , but the love you had from her is inmeasurable.

+1 to this. They seem to know, and having you right there seems to help.

 

[MTelkHuntress]

Our vet took one last paw print with some clay and that has been a really sweet keepsake.
While the process is incredibly sad, something I didn't really expect was a sense of peace.
Dogs are the purest form of love and we are so dang lucky to have them in our lives, even if it is just for a short while.

 

[Dougfirtree]

It pains me to even write this, but after 13 amazing years with my beloved Annabella, I have to say goodbye this Friday morning. As much as this hurts me to do, I know it's the right time and what is best for her. As hard of a time as I am having, I am really scared of the impact this will have on our 8 year old daughter. These two have imprinted on each other and I am convinced she only hung on in the last few years because of our daughter. She saves all her energy for her.

In light of having 2.5 days to spoil the hell out of her, I was wondering if anyone had any advice or lessons learned from their experience of saying goodbye that they'd like to share - especially if you have young kids. my daughter is being extremely pragmatic, but we all know that can be a shield against real feelings. So if you have any advice or things you wished you would have done differently before you said goodbye, would be good to hear them. Because at this point, I am overwhelmed with emotions and definitely not thinking all that clearly about her last days. Other than getting her burgers, steaks, etc.

View attachment 268461

I'm so sorry to hear it. These two were awfully lucky to have each other.

 

[Sytes]

Always tough... I'm saddened for you and your family.

We have our past dog collars mounted on our leash bracket. It may be tough to do at this juncture though it's a good way to remember the great memories while taking our new four legged family member(s) out for a stroll.

These threads always pull the dusty eye syndrome though we continue to open them. It's one of the few united fronts humans share, or so it seems.

I wish you the best with your family/daughter.