Kraven
New member
> Subject: HOW SWEET IT IS!!!!!
>
>
> 1. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from
> the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own
> children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And
> the first thing He said was, "Don't." "Don't what?" Adam replied.
> "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have
> forbidden fruit?" "Hey, Eve.... we have forbidden fruit!"
> "No way!"
> "Yes, way!"
> "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
> "Why?"
> "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied. A few minutes
> later, God saw His children having an apple break and was He ticked!
> "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" asked God, as our first
> parent?
> "Uh huh," Adam replied.
> "Then why did you?" asked the Father.
> "I don't know," said Eve.
> "She started it!" Adam said,
> "Did not!"
> "Did too!"
> "DID NOT!
> Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
> Eve should have children of their own.
> Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed! But there is
> reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried
> to give children wisdom, and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on
> yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it
> would be a piece of cake for you?
>
> 2. Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension, and you get a
> headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle "Take two aspirin" and
> "Keep away from children."
>
> 3. You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and
> talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.
>
> 4. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
>
> 5. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
>
> 6. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
> word what you shouldn't have said.
>
> 7. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
> that there are children more awful than your own.
>
> 8. We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!
>
> 9. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
>
> 10. Pass this on and brighten more parents day.
>
>
> 1. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from
> the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own
> children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And
> the first thing He said was, "Don't." "Don't what?" Adam replied.
> "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have
> forbidden fruit?" "Hey, Eve.... we have forbidden fruit!"
> "No way!"
> "Yes, way!"
> "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
> "Why?"
> "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied. A few minutes
> later, God saw His children having an apple break and was He ticked!
> "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" asked God, as our first
> parent?
> "Uh huh," Adam replied.
> "Then why did you?" asked the Father.
> "I don't know," said Eve.
> "She started it!" Adam said,
> "Did not!"
> "Did too!"
> "DID NOT!
> Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
> Eve should have children of their own.
> Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed! But there is
> reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried
> to give children wisdom, and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on
> yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it
> would be a piece of cake for you?
>
> 2. Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension, and you get a
> headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle "Take two aspirin" and
> "Keep away from children."
>
> 3. You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and
> talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.
>
> 4. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
>
> 5. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
>
> 6. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
> word what you shouldn't have said.
>
> 7. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
> that there are children more awful than your own.
>
> 8. We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!
>
> 9. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
>
> 10. Pass this on and brighten more parents day.
