Ithaca 37
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The owner of a golf course in the Missouri Ozarks was confused about
paying the invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
University of the Ozarks and I need some help. If I were to give
you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought for a moment, then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."
-----------------
A group of Missouri Hillbillies went deer hunting and paired off in
twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind.
He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter
replied.
"You left Henry lying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going
to steal Henry!"
-----------------
The young Ozark Hillbilly came running into the store and said to
his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you se who it was?" The young Hillbilly
answered,
"I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
----------------------
A Missouri State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-44. The trooper
asked,
"Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
----------------------------
Joplin, Missouri--The Ozarks worst air disaster occurred when a
small
two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Missouri Southern
University
students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in The Ozarks.
Mountaineer search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so
far
and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the
evening.
The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the recovery
efforts.
paying the invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
University of the Ozarks and I need some help. If I were to give
you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought for a moment, then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."
-----------------
A group of Missouri Hillbillies went deer hunting and paired off in
twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind.
He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter
replied.
"You left Henry lying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going
to steal Henry!"
-----------------
The young Ozark Hillbilly came running into the store and said to
his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you se who it was?" The young Hillbilly
answered,
"I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
----------------------
A Missouri State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-44. The trooper
asked,
"Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
----------------------------
Joplin, Missouri--The Ozarks worst air disaster occurred when a
small
two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Missouri Southern
University
students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in The Ozarks.
Mountaineer search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so
far
and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the
evening.
The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the recovery
efforts.
