Cancer. A Friend's Final 1-3 Month Prognosis.

[HighDesertSage]

I'm sorry. Praying for you.

 

[warmer]

Watched my Mom suffer thru breast cancer for 5 years. Never really went away after all the treatments, but she was tough and hung in there. One day she had a headache and Dr. found cancer had moved to her brain. We buried her two weeks later. I'd rather go thru the two week experience again than the 5 year experience. Just be there for him and his family. Not much more you can do than show them you care and that they can lean on you.

 

[OntarioHunter]

Sytes, don't think about it. Just do. I deal with a lot of angst almost on a nightly basis when my wife returns. It almost always ends the same with me begging her in vain to come home. I wake up and can't get back to sleep. So I empty my head and think about how I can build the new rifle: changing the safety, adding iron sights, etc. Or sometimes I get back in the saddle again riding out from my elk camp in a soft falling whiteout. Nothing but the rhythmic swaying and clanking cowbell on the packhorse. Or in my mind's eye I'll start working on their feet as I fit them for new shoes. Haven't done it in thirty years but never forget how. That one works well at funerals. Good luck.

 

[Big Fin]

I spoke with my friend a few days ago. He sounded content, for lack of better words. Unfortunately, and as expected, he seemed to lose thought of prior casual discussions a few minutes earlier. His wife shared heavy medications to minimize pain effects his brain and the course cancer takes contributes

Last night I received a text from his wife,

"It's ####:
#### can't speak anymore he seems to be on his final days."

It has to be a challenge for his son (16y/o) and wife. I'm not sure if it's better to slowly fade with family or a quick pass...
I'm not a raised family person so I don't have a good vibe on what would be the most ideal for family.

I'm on the flight to Houston as I type. At this point, for his son, mostly.

Life...

You're a good man, Charles. His family will appreciate your support.

 

[T Bone]

Good job sticking with him.

My Dad was given two weeks to live in September. Acute leukemia.

He's still waking up, not dead.

One of these days he'll step to the other side. He has a lot of friends and family waiting.

We've said our final goodbyes three times.

I'm grateful for every phone call, every message, and visit.

Our conversations have ranged from the serious, to pee-your-pants-laughing, and everything in between.

Just stick with him.

 

[rtraverdavis]

Praying you can be a comfort to your friend’s wife and son, Sytes. It will mean a ton to him that you are there, even if he can’t speak. Take care of yourself, man.

 

[Sytes]

Thanks all. I appreciate everyone's comments.

The setting was an enhanced reality of what my mind envisioned. He's in very rough shape. An amazing, seasoned hospice nurse! Signed as a witness for a DNR. Nurse called for a continuous nurse as his body's no longer digesting food, etc.
I don't think it's necessary to go into further detail.

Considering the setting the time spent went as good, if not better than I hoped.

Toughest part was watching his son come from his bedroom every half hour or so, rock solid strength, hugging his dad, saying he loves him, he's okay with him to pass on to heaven, going back to his room, and balling for a minute or two.

I was able to chit chat with him in his room as he played games to distract himself. He shared he didn't want to talk to his mother about how he feels because it makes her cry.
I shared it's tough though sometimes it helps to give her an opportunity to talk and cry with him... He spilled a ton of emotions, balled as he hugged me, regrouped, and asked if he could have a few minutes to himself.

I found the restroom.

I know this tugged many of your own experiences. Your shared comments made me a better person for this family.
Warmest regards.

 

[hank4elk]

You have just shown your one of the good ones Charles.

 

[KB_]

Idk if this helps but it gives me a little optimism that this may not be the end all be all.

Talking with my best friend the other night, as we get older the conversations have gone from jokes and hot babes to, holy shit we are getting old.

He was telling me he had this dream about his brother (who died tragically due to a semi tire blowing up in his face). But in the dream he was having a fully in control conversation with his brother. He said to him John your dead, and his brother said yea I am. This is pretty weird right? then Proceeded to laugh at my buddy like it was all a big joke (like he normally does).

I dont know maybe this is not the end for us. I think its great your there to the end though. Sadly had to bury a lot of friends over my life, none of them have been easy. I've felt it only gets harder as I get older. Its all good to feel this kind of emotion, its human.

 

[Flatbrimmer]

Thanks all. I appreciate everyone's comments.

The setting was an enhanced reality of what my mind envisioned. He's in very rough shape. An amazing, seasoned hospice nurse! Signed as a witness for a DNR. Nurse called for a continuous nurse as his body's no longer digesting food, etc.
I don't think it's necessary to go into further detail.

Considering the setting the time spent went as good, if not better than I hoped.

Toughest part was watching his son come from his bedroom every half hour or so, rock solid strength, hugging his dad, saying he loves him, he's okay with him to pass on to heaven, going back to his room, and balling for a minute or two.

I was able to chit chat with him in his room as he played games to distract himself. He shared he didn't want to talk to his mother about how he feels because it makes her cry.
I shared it's tough though sometimes it helps to give her an opportunity to talk and cry with him... He spilled a ton of emotions, balled as he hugged me, regrouped, and asked if he could have a few minutes to himself.

I found the restroom.

I know this tugged many of your own experiences. Your shared comments made me a better person for this family.
Warmest regards.

I don’t know this person, but putting it into perspective the way that you have, tears well up in my eyes and it’s hard for me to fight back. You’re a good friend to him. Best wishes to everyone, Sir.

 

[T Bone]

Idk if this helps but it gives me a little optimism that this may not be the end all be all.

Talking with my best friend the other night, as we get older the conversations have gone from jokes and hot babes to, holy shit we are getting old.

He was telling me he had this dream about his brother (who died tragically due to a semi tire blowing up in his face). But in the dream he was having a fully in control conversation with his brother. He said to him John your dead, and his brother said yea I am. This is pretty weird right? then Proceeded to laugh at my buddy like it was all a big joke (like he normally does).

I dont know maybe this is not the end for us. I think its great your there to the end though. Sadly had to bury a lot of friends over my life, none of them have been easy. I've felt it only gets harder as I get older. Its all good to feel this kind of emotion, its human.

Allow me to share something that I hold close.

In November, we were at my Dad's side. The excellent hospice nurse let us know that he had hours to live and we got there in time.

Dad recognized me when I walked into the room and talked to me and then turned slightly and started talking to his friend; who had died in 1971. I had heard the stories and recognized the name. It was nothing but pure joy on my Dad's face.

I couldn't see him, but sure enough, he was there to welcome my Dad back home. Except Dad changed his mind and squeaked out of that one somehow. For now, he is still alive.

My belief is that this is not the end. It's no different than walking into another room. When my Dad does decide to step across the thresh hold, it will be a grand reunion with long missed friends and family.

 

[1896]

Hang in there, man, for him, the best is yet to come.