DRAFTSTUD
Well-known member
Boudreaux was driving down Canal street in a sweat because he had an
important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven
he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go
to Mass every Sunday for the rest of ma life and give up ma White
Lightnin'!'
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Boudreaux looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
__________________________________________________________________________
Father Murphy walks into a bar on Bourbon Street, and asks the first man
he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
The man said, 'I do, Father.'
The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'
Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.
'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to Thibodaux and asked, 'Do you want to go
to heaven?'
Thibodaux said, 'No, I don't Father.'
The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when
you die you don't want to go to heaven?'
Thibodaux said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a
bunch together to go right now.'
_________________________________________________________________________
Boudreaux was in New Orleans .
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street
crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay,
pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Boudreaux still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Boudreaux
went over to him and said, 'Ain't it 'bout time ya let the Catholics
across?'
____________________________________________________________________________
Boudreaux opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend,
Landry.
'Did you see the paper?' asked Boudreaux. 'They say I died!!'
'Yes, I saw it!' replied Landry. 'Where ya callin' from?'
_________________________________________________________________________
A Parish priest is driving down to New Orleans from Alexandria and gets
stopped for speeding . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's
breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'
'Just water,' says the priest.
The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'
The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'
______________________________________________________
Walking into the bar, Boudreaux said to Charlie the
bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another
fight with the little wife.'
'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'
'When it was over,' Boudreaux replied, 'She came to
me on her hands and knees.'
'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! ? What
did she say?'
She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little
coward.'
_____________________________________________________
Devereaux staggered home very late after another
evening with his drinking buddy, Landry. He took
off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Betty Lou.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs
leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the
bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the
banister, his body swung around and he landed
heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back
pocket broke and made the landing especially
painful.
Managing not to yell, Devereaux sprung up, pulled
down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see
that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He
managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and
began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each
place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and
shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Devereaux woke up with searing pain
in both his head and butt and Betty Lou staring at
him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't
you?'
Devereaux said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Betty Lou said, 'it could be the open front
door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of
the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing
through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes,
but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on
the hall mirror.
important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven
he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go
to Mass every Sunday for the rest of ma life and give up ma White
Lightnin'!'
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Boudreaux looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
__________________________________________________________________________
Father Murphy walks into a bar on Bourbon Street, and asks the first man
he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
The man said, 'I do, Father.'
The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'
Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.
'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to Thibodaux and asked, 'Do you want to go
to heaven?'
Thibodaux said, 'No, I don't Father.'
The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when
you die you don't want to go to heaven?'
Thibodaux said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a
bunch together to go right now.'
_________________________________________________________________________
Boudreaux was in New Orleans .
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street
crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay,
pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Boudreaux still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Boudreaux
went over to him and said, 'Ain't it 'bout time ya let the Catholics
across?'
____________________________________________________________________________
Boudreaux opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend,
Landry.
'Did you see the paper?' asked Boudreaux. 'They say I died!!'
'Yes, I saw it!' replied Landry. 'Where ya callin' from?'
_________________________________________________________________________
A Parish priest is driving down to New Orleans from Alexandria and gets
stopped for speeding . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's
breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'
'Just water,' says the priest.
The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'
The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'
______________________________________________________
Walking into the bar, Boudreaux said to Charlie the
bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another
fight with the little wife.'
'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'
'When it was over,' Boudreaux replied, 'She came to
me on her hands and knees.'
'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! ? What
did she say?'
She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little
coward.'
_____________________________________________________
Devereaux staggered home very late after another
evening with his drinking buddy, Landry. He took
off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Betty Lou.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs
leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the
bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the
banister, his body swung around and he landed
heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back
pocket broke and made the landing especially
painful.
Managing not to yell, Devereaux sprung up, pulled
down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see
that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He
managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and
began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each
place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and
shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Devereaux woke up with searing pain
in both his head and butt and Betty Lou staring at
him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't
you?'
Devereaux said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Betty Lou said, 'it could be the open front
door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of
the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing
through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes,
but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on
the hall mirror.
